I'm listening to a webinar called "Scream Free Parenting." I don't want to be a mean, angry mama. And sometimes I'm a mean, angry person, so it's not like it's going to just stop because I have babies, so this webinar piqued my interest.
Like many things on this blog, this is more for my future reference than your present entertainment. :)
Some key points:
- Being more emotionally separate from our children. They are individuals. We cannot manage their outcomes. We are resources to our kids, but they can manage their own lives (To a point, for example a 5 year old can tie his own shoes, don't do it because you want to do it.)
- Don't put your anxiety on your kids. Like if you're rushing them out of the door because you don't want to be late. Just let them get themselves together and provide consequences for lateness, but you don't have to get all worked up and scream at them about being on time.
- Don't tie your emotions to their actions. If you tell them to brush their teeth and they don't, and you get all worked up, then they expect to only do things when parents are worked up. Provide sound consequences, but don't lose it. When you lose it, the child gets caught up in your feelings, actions, emotions rather than their own actions or inaction.
- Being Calm Parent is tied to raising self-reliant kids. If you get all worked up, they will expect that level of anxiety to get anything done. Then we're you're not breathing down their backs, they won't perform/deliver.
Boundaries - she mentioned a GANG of them, but I couldn't type them. Will link the blog post when they post it.