Saturday, December 31, 2016

Can I Pro-Rate My Donation?

Dear Obama for America,

IF you could go back and make 16 weeks of maternity leave 100% paid in 2016, so that I didn't have to use my savings on living expenses while I was home with my children... Also, if you could address the high cost of healthcare, especially for someone who got hit with two bills for birth and double co-pays for everything the twins do, THEN I would have extra funds to donate to all of the ills of the world that you are in my inbox about DAILY.

- Marriage Equality
- Global Warming
- Keeping Democrats in Office

As soon as I get my prorated check, I'll hit y'all up with a donation.

*eye roll*

Thursday, December 22, 2016

The Resentment...

Y'all pray for me. I am SO angry that I have to work through the holidays AGAIN. Last year, I worked through the holiday (while big and pregnant) because I wanted to save up my days to be with my babies.

THIS YEAR, I'm working through the holidays because when you go on maternity leave your vacation and sick days are used up first. So two years with no holiday vacation.

And people who actually take breaks dump all their stuff on you, so it actually ends up being a VERY busy week. 

And I know people are like "but you had 16 weeks of paid vacation time for maternity."

First of all, all of that time wasn't paid. I wish people knew the facts before they spoke.  

And it was 16 weeks of torture with two little terrorists who didn't even damn smile for the first 6 months of their lives. They just shit all up and down their backs and mean mugged me.

It was not all inclusive drinks at a resort in Jamaica.

It was not peaceful.

It was not relaxing.

It was not stress free.

It was not fun.

It was meaningful and necessary, but a vacation, it was not. 

I saw someone say they think maternity leave is a relaxing break because the moms they've talked to catch up on Netflix & DVRed shows while they are home. Well, I cannot leave the house because there's two humans hanging from my tits at all times and I can barely walk because my vagina is ripped open, so I think watching a couple of episodes of House of Cards is ok, but it's wasn't a fucking vacation.

Maybe moms on maternity leave should be forced to stare at the walls blankly to prove to others that our maternity leaves are valid.

I digress.

Got damnit, I need a break.

And since my days roll over in 2017, I SHOULD have taken off the first week in January, but I didn't have the foresight. Most days I can't think past the weekend because, you know... twins.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016


I just saw a headline that says "mom defends her decision to spend $2K on 300 gifts for her gifts for Christmas." Um... how did anyone KNOW she bought 300 gifts and spent $2,000. You can do whatever the hell you please for your kids.

The #realissue is you bragging about it on social media. If mogs would just log off, no one would have to defend anything to anyone.

Those types of stories cook my grits.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Hey Girl Hey!

So I get like 20 views (AT MOST) of my blog every day. If pressed, I think I could tell you exactly who those 20 folks are.

But for the past month or so, my blog has been getting like 500 views a day. Hey new people! Who are you and where did you come from? Announce yourselves.

Also, if someone linked me to their blog and brought all new readers, can you let me know?

I'm sure there's a way to figure this out on the back end, but I don't want to spend that much time. This is a hobby for me and a release, not a business. I don't want to do too much "work" for it.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

That Took FOREVER!

I posted my work schedule, so you all know I don't have any free time during the week. And I've posted about my apprehension about leaving the house as a twin mom on the weekends. As such, getting things done takes FOREVER. I recently Tweeted on my public Twitter that being a mom makes me feel mediocre because from the time I have a thought to the time I complete an action is about three weeks.

Below I charted it out this one task in particular. Pre-babies, I could have gotten thi sdone in one day, or worse case scenario, one weekend. Now, it's more like a month or 5 weeks. It feels horrible to a Type A person like me.

10/22 - A friend in Chicago gave my mom a bag of winter clothes for my girls.
10/24 -  My mom ships the clothes to me
10/26 - I receive the clothes and realize there are too many cardigans, jackets and snow suits to fit in the babies' three Ikea drawers
10/30 - Find this on Pinterest as a way to store things in my small home.
10/30 - Buy the Ikea Lack shelf on
11/08 - Buy 25 hot pink velvet hangers for this shelf that is not up yet 
11/09 - Receive the Ikea Lack Shelf (Ikea shipping is slow as hell, but it beats trying to pack up twins and go to Ikea and/or paying someone to watch my kids, so I can go to Ikea)
11/10 - Receive hangers from Amazon 
11/12 - Order the Ikea rails from Amazon (Ikea doesn't make it anymore and it was hard to find for some reason. I probably also forgot that I needed the rails, once I had ordered the shelf.)
11/14 - Received the Ikea rails
11/18 - Borrow a drill from Paris (someone buy me a drill for Christmas, please)
11/20 - Attempt to put up this shelf and realize I need a studfinder AND a screw set. Ikea doesn't send the screws because "walls are different." I try to order a studfinder for pickup at Home Depot. They're all out, so I order a studfinder on Amazon (the one Home Depot said was most popular)
11/22 - Receive studfinder
11/25 - (Black Friday) - Attached the rails to the shelf, attempted to find a stud with our stud finder. Didn't find anything. 
11/26 - Asked building maintenance if they had a more expensive, more powerful stud finder. They said they would come up and take a look, then they said that's not really in their job description, so just hammer the wall. (We are not DIYers, we need an actual tool to find a stud) Broke down and got a handyman on
11/27 - The handyman told us that our walls are plaster. THAT would explain why the studfinder didn't work. Finally got this friggin shelf up! I'm so proud of it!!