Sunday, October 23, 2016

In Defense of the Suburbs...

Laundry is the only time of the week that I get to be alone.

After getting the kids dressed to go on a walk with their dad, pumping & finding a clean pair of leggings to wear outside, I finally make it out of the house with my granny cart loaded up with seven loads of laundry (5 normal & 2 oversized). If you read all my pregnancy posts, you know that all my leggings are cut on the side to make space for my burgeoning twin belly. I haven't quite found the time to replace them. Let me add that to my never-ending to-do list now.

As I was saying, I live in an apartment complex with six buildings. The laundry room nearest to me has 5 washers & dryers. Last week, 2 of the washers in that room were broken. I was joking with security like "I can't live like this." And he tells me two buildings over there's a MUCH bigger laundry room. I get in there: 14 washers and dryers & virtually no people. BET!

Side note: there may not be a lot of people because the door to the outside stays open & it's cold in there. I could be wrong, but it still feels like the air conditioning is on despite the crisp fall temperatures.

Anywho, I finished my laundry in the big laundry room last week. This week, it's 48 degrees & rainy & they made upgrades to the security system, so some of the key fobs don't work. Of course, mine didn't.

So I sit & wait for like 10 minutes in the cold rain for someone to open the door to the gate that leads to the large laundry room. I called security, too. They have one, old, slow, unqualified woman answering that line & she acts like she doesn't know some of the key fobs are broken. Whatever.

I finally make it into the large laundry room & realize I'd forgotten my laundry card. Damn. I load up my washers & head to my apartment, but I can't get into the service entrance to my building. Call my home for my boyfriend to buzz me in, he doesn't answer. Walk around to the front of my building, get in, get upstairs, get my laundry card, go BACK to the large laundry room, wait in the rain AGAIN for someone to open the gate only to find out I'd dropped the laundry card in transit. Fine. I'll just but a new one, it's only $5 and I've wasted almost an hour at this point.

Go to purchase it & the machine in the big laundry room only takes cash. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! I trace my steps to see if I can find it. Nope. It's windy out AND someone probably stole it the moment I dropped it.

God must be cracking up at me looking like a rat in a corn maize today with my cut up leggings falling off my butt.

Go to the small laundry room, which takes credit cards & my key fob won't open it's gate. ARGH! Find an open gate and put $50 on the card because I don't want to have to leave the big laundry room again until I'm done.

I'm currently sitting in this cold laundry room, where I will be for the next hour and 16 minutes until all of my clothes are finished washing & drying.

And, while I was writing this bleach started to leak in the bag I carry my wallet, journal & laundry supplies in. It soaked through the bag & now my black vagabond leggings and black oversized workout sweatshirt (that I never work out in) are bleached... On the left side where I carry that bag.

The good news is I get to go upstairs & take a nap. Bwahahaha. I can't believe I typed that with a straight face. Nope, despite getting up two times last night, my babies will still be bustling with energy when I get done with the laundry.

And I get to take my cold, angry, tired self upstairs to play happy twin mom. These babies didn't do anything wrong, so It'll be another Oscar winning performance.

How did your Saturday go? Mine has me considering a move to the suburbs.

Friday, October 14, 2016


The girls turned 6 months yesterday and you know what, I like this age. Let me see if I can come up with 10 reasons why.

10. They smile ALL THE TIME! They especially smile at me, which I noticed when people visit and they do NOT smile for guests, but they almost always smile for Mommy.

9. They hug and cuddle. They are still so fat, BIG CHEEKS! FAT NECKS! THICK THIGHS! And I just huddle into all those folds for my mommy snuggles. And they're not bumps on a log anymore

8.They experience new things in the best way. Their eyes get big or they giggle or they look perplexed. Lahna was in the bathroom the other day and it was like it was the first time she was in that room. The wonderment on her face could have lit up a dark room. I LOVE watching these things. 

7. They're rolling, but not crawling and not walking. So they move, but they don't move too fast just yet.

6. They don't have teeth yet, so nursing is not painful. Note, it was painful when I first started, but my nipples are basically like Stretch Armstrong arms now. I'll be nursing them and doing something else and forget they're even on my breasts.

5. Their diapers don't stink yet. We just started real food yesterday, so we'll see if this changes, but right now a "stinky" diaper is a different smell from a wet diaper, but on the whole spectrum of stinky, it barely even registers. 

4. I don't have to do their hair yet. My babies came out with a full head of hair, which they kept until about 2 months, then they're bald. My poor dears look like they have a baby mohawk on the top of their heads. Their hair is starting to grow back, but for right now I'm very happy to not have to buy three of all of the hair products I buy for myself.

3. People still ask about them and how I'm adjusting to them and work and life. I feel genuine concerns and that's great. If think once they're in school, it's not as interesting to see how someone's kids are doing or to think about the fact that they are a working parent. It's like all the challenges or infant and toddler life dissipate and everything is supposed to be perfect, so no one inquires about your wellbeing anymore. I could be wrong.

2. They bounce. Kids really will roll over and bump their heads on the floor or headbutt you or do some other really dangerous and potentially harmful thing to themselves and act like nothing happened. Even when I gasp, they look up at me like "what's the big deal?" I know as they get older, they will pick up on our queues and feel more pain because we expect them to feel pain. I don't ever want my babies to feel any pain, so I like it better right now.

1. They babble, but they still can't talk. You knew this was coming. Being flip at the mouth was the only real problem I ever gave my mom and my teachers. And I'm about to catch that times 2. I'm not ready AT ALL!  I also just relish peace. New York is so loud and the hustle is so hard. I'm not going to want to come home and hear a million questions about how the world works. Or try to make sense of what a child who doesn't REALLY know how to talk says. The little babbling they do right now is PERFECT!

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Baby Wonder

I originally wrote this on August 8th. How dare 2 months go  by already. Crazy.


Lahna is really good at gripping. She grips onto the adults in her life when we're holding her. She grips onto the birds that are hanging from her floor mat. And she grips really well onto toys.

The bird in question, is a rattle. It makes noise when she shakes it. So we gave her this toy that the Manhattan Toy Company sent to us as a freebie for being twin parents (thanks guys). It doesn't make as much noise. You REALLY have to shake it and she doesn't have the arm strength for that yet.

Let me tell you what happened though. She shook it and it didn't do anything. She puts in on her lap and looks at it like it's broken. She does it again. I'm observing her while she observes this toy and trying to see what's going on in her little baby brain.

When I realized that she was trying to figure out WHY it didn't make noise when she shook it I was SO PROUD! It was the same feeling I get when a client accepts my plan with no changes or a when journalists writes about my client.

So rewarding!


My greatest accomplishments are almost crawling. Wow, what a feeling! 

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

But Monday Though...

Mondays are unforgiving for this working mama.

They have not been good since I got back and you know what, I just have to bounce back from it.

I have no sick days. No vacation days. No personal days. I had to use them all up before using my short term disability for maternity leave. So in the year that I'm getting the least sleep that I ever have, I have to go to work every single day with no breaks.

From the time I came back to work (August 2nd) and Thanksgiving, I only had one day (Labor Day) off. This mama is tired.

This morning I wake up. The hot water is off. Fine. I take a hoe bath... oops I mean wash up and use the extra 30 minutes to nurse my babies.

They are also going through sleep regression, so they get up 2-3x a night. Add that to all of the kicking and rolling that they're doing and this 1BR, one crib set-up is harmful to their health and my sleep.

So when a twin mama in Tribeca said she had a crib divider to sell, I was too happy to take it off of her hands. I figured I'd go Monday before work, no problem.

I go, but on the way back, end up at the Barclays center in Brooklyn when I need to be in Flatiron.

For my Chicagoans, this is like getting on the train on 95th. Your job is on State Street. Where you're picking up the baby gear in on North Avenue, but you take a wrong train coming back from North Avenue and end up on the blue line at Kedzie and Homan. I was an hour and half late for work, which means I could only pump 2x instead of 3x, which means after working a 6.5 hour day, rushing home to relieve the nanny because we can't afford overtime and nursing the girls 2-3 more times, I'll have to stay up and pump once more to make sure they have enough milk for tomorrow.

And since this is posting a few days after I wrote it, I can tell you that I left the office with my laptop bag, my pump bag and my purse... And forgot the crib divider. It's not a part of my usual set-up, so I left it on the floor. I got about one Avenue away, then went back to get it.

Get home and install the thing (but about an hour late because my boyfriend didn't realize I had it and the girls were already in the bed when I told him we should give it a try).

Well... it didn't work. My babies kick like infant MMA fighters and broke it right in half. What's really crazy is Joy's kick is WAY stronger than Lahna and Lahna's the one who broke it.

These kids don't want me to sleep AND, they definitely want their own cribs. Last night (Tuesday), we rearranged some furniture in the apartment and crib #2 is on thee way. I hope they don't go through withdrawals of being close to each other #TwinProblems

And my week hasn't really gotten any better. I'm going to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and make the most of this zombie lifestyle I'm now living.

P.S. The girls are 6 months today. WOW!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Sunday Musings

So Sunday was a good day, too. I had two friends come over, one from Jersey and one from Brooklyn and they watched the girls while I did seven back-breaking loads of laundry. Good lawd, a family of four producers so much laundry. We can no longer afford to send the laundry out and there is no space for filthy clothes in our small domicile, so I MUST do laundry every seven days. Maybe 8.

ALSO, the girls had run out of bibs spit cloths. They are teething, so there are just puddles of slob all over their toys, chairs, mats, the [faux] hardwood floor, everywhere. When we start putting dish towels on them, that's how you know it was real.

So, yesterday I had no help, but survived. Today, I had help and I was tired as hell, but I survived. With twins folks, it's all about survival.

I should also add that my babies are a joy to be around. They are happy and observant and funny. They babble and they make spit bubbles and they roll and they hug and they sideeye and mean mug and giggle.

And they do cute twin stuff. They hold each other's hands and caress each other's faces. They also scratch each other and themselves. That's hard on a mama.

They kick like MMA fighters.

And they flail. You really have to hold on tight to Joy. She will bounce out of your hands and then giggle at you. They haven't full on laughed yet, but it's coming.

I'm so grateful for friends who come into town to spend the weekend with us or come uptown to spend the day with us. I have never asked for help so much in my life. And days like yesterday show that even asking for help, you will still come up short.

But today was another good weekend day with my loves and I'm happy to share my home, our food (yes, guests get chef-cooked meals) and our the peace and joy of our daughters with our closest family and friends.

Hope your Sunday was full of love too!

Monday, October 10, 2016

It's O.K.

Today was Saturday and I was home alone with the girls while my bf worked a double shift. I asked everyone I knew for help. Half of my friends were in Chicago for another friend's baby shower. I can eat at my bf's restaurant for free and it's the only place I've ever taken the girls for brunch. They like seeing their dad and it makes me a bit more comfortable being out and about with them.

So I asked a friend that I'm not THAT close with if she'd like to go to brunch with us. This would give me another set of hands at the table, and allow me a break from being along with infants for 16 hours.

She was game, but then she couldn't make it. She has a very sick dog and they sent her from the vet to the ASPCA hospital and that was a 2-4 hour wait, starting at 2 p.m. I was going to change our brunch date to dinner, but when the girls went down for their second nap, I knew it was a bad idea to take them out. I'm also not trying to be out in the NYC streets in the dark with my babies.

So we stayed in, and you know what. It was ok.

They took one long nap in the morning, which allowed me to take one short nap.

They also played in the Pack and Play for the first time, which allowed me to eat, pump, shower and wash my hair. Now halfway through showering and hair washing, I had to run out and position Joy so that she could see me showering, but that's still a LONG time for infants to be quiet, so I feel very blessed.

Then they took a second nap and that allowed me to twist my hair.

So I think getting everything done that I did while being home alone with two infants is nothing short of a miracle and it's days like today that make me feel like: "Everything is ok. Everything is fine. Everything is going to be AL-RIGHT!"

I hope you had a good Saturday.