Wednesday, September 28, 2016


I'm home alone with the babies and they're sleeping!!! Here are options for what I could do:

 I already ate and blogged. I could also:

- Clean (the air filter that needs to be cleaned once a month is one week past due)
- Fold the laundry I did at the crack of dawn this morning
- Random to-do like tracking down refunds that Amazon never issued me, but said they did
- Take a shower
- Do nothing and enjoy the quiet
- Sleep
- Baby proof the apartment (this was on my list for this weekend before I knew my boyfriend was working two double shifts and leaving me in the apartment with our infants for 2, 16-hour stretches at a time)

Such is the life of a [type A] mom. Too much to do. I can only do one of these things or maybe half of one because someone is inevitably going to get up the moment I hit peak productivity.

What would you do?

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Book Review: I'm Judging You

Now, I know I JUST wrote about not judging people, then I turn around and talk about a book called I'm Judging You. It's ok, the book is still dope.

I have the audio book and in it my girl Luvvie tackles everything from toddlers (or tiny terrorists as she calls them) to friends who make bad bae decisions to humans who make bad life decisions (racists and sexists, etc.)

If you read her blog or follow her on Twitter, you'll recognize her common phrases like "ijots" or "dropkick you the goalposts of life." I'm not finished with the book yet, so I'm not sure if a wall slide is coming or not, but I wouldn't be surprised.

If you read or listen to it in public, be prepared to have stares come at you for laughing aloud. It's that funny.

And finally, I'm SO EXCITED for Luvvie. It's kind of cool to watch people get famous. And I kind of have to fight this urge to tell people how I know her and how much longer I've known her than them and that while they're reading her blog, she's humble enough to still read mine. It's something about being a human that makes those seriously unimportant things seem important as it relates to fame and popularity. Such is life.

Anywho, have you copped your copy yet? What do you think of the book so far? (And please no spoilers. I have like 2-3 more train rides before I'm done with it.)

Monday, September 26, 2016

New York Surprises

A really cool thing about New York is that the entire city is a judgment free zone. What you lose in modesty and "decency" you gain in people not caring too much about what you have going on to judge it.

So Saturday morning, I leave my apartment out of the service entrance to do laundry at 9 a.m.. I have on some Chicago Bulls jogging pants, a navy blue graphic tee and a black satin bonnet. Yes, I wore my satin bonnet outside. Judge me. I was going from one building in my complex to another to do laundry, so I was technically still home, but whatever.

I saw an old lady on my way down. The interchange went like this

Old Lady: Is that a rain bonnet or a night bonnet?
Me: *ashamed* It's a night bonnet.
Old Lady: Oh ok
Me: I know... I'm out of order
Old Lady: Actually, I was just looking at it because my night bonnet has a drawstring and I don't like it. Yours has the elastic band. I think I'm going to get one like that.
Me: Thank you! Enjoy your morning!

Fam! I was so ready to be judged, when this old lady doesn't give two farts about what I wear on my head during the day or at night. She was trying to get her night life together.

And truth be told my night bonnet is NICE! I had my mom send me one from Chicago because while she was here, I kept stealing hers. And they don't make nice ones like this in NYC (or at least I haven't seen them at the beauty supply).

So all of that to say, I am way harder on myself than other people are on me. And New York has it's drawbacks, but I'm glad to be in a place where I can do my think without the judgmental glare of city dwellers.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Before I Go

  • Before I go and not post for another 45 days... 
  • About motherhood: I'm a very nervous mother. I don't really like leaving my apartment. If we must leave, the children are reinforced with pants, jackets, hats, mosquito nets. I don't want bugs, weather, people's grimy hands or even disgusting New York air touching them. I'm working on this with my therapist. At some point, I'm going to have to venture out with them. But I don't have a car. My neighborhood isn't exactly the upper east side. There's nothing for a 5 month old baby to do. AND I don't like talking to people and answering their dumb ass questions about how my children were conceived. I just want to hug and kiss them in the privacy of my own home. 
  • About being a working mom: It's great and it's horrible. With twins, going to work is like an 8-hour break. Weekends are when I don't get a break. So when everyone else comes back on Monday refreshed, I come back pooped. I feel like I'm not giving my all at work because I really do have to leave at 5 and I can't log back in, in the evening. Have you ever tried to create a PPT deck with two babies sucking on your tits? No? Ok then, don't expect me to. Then when I am late getting home, I feel like crap. (I left my pumped milk in the work fridge one day and another day I had to stop at the home depot to get a kneeling mat for the girls' bath). AND my babies recognize that I'm not home. When I darken the doorstep, they are SCREAMING for me. There's no rest for me. 
  • Taking care of myself: I've started to listen to podcasts on the way to and from work. This is the only time of the day that I get to decompress. Even when I'm sleep I have to be on in case a baby cries or needs a midnight feeding. As far as podcasts I like: funny, storytelling, pop culture, light hearted, money/personal finance related and sometimes marketing things. I don't want to hear anything about how to change or fix the world. I don't want to hear anything about systems or structures of injustice. I don't want to hear politics. I want to laugh, which so few people in NYC are doing on any commute. I get stares for laughing aloud or smiling on the train, but I don't care. 
  • Joy is screaming. Bye.

Saturday, September 24, 2016


  • I can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted. Here's why: I work eight hours and don't take a lunch, so that we only have to pay the nanny 2 hours of overtime (for 10 hours) instead of 3 (for 11 hours) if I had taken a lunch. ALSO, I use my work computer as my regular computer right now because my lovely boyfriend downloaded a virus on my computer and we don't have money to get it fixed right now because twins. 
  • My work computer takes 10 minutes to boot up and usually at night, if I have 10 free minutes, I need to use it to wash bottles, drink coffee, straighten the house and go the hell to sleep before the night terrors (the babies waking up 2-3x a night) begin. 
  • So while I things cross my mind from time to time that I'd like to share with whoever's reading the opportunity cost of cracking open my laptop is typically too much. 
  • Also, I tweet a lot of #TwinMom #TwinLife stuff on my open Twitter page @tstevens312, so if you're interested, follow me there. 
  • Right now, my boyfriend is working a double shift and I'm home alone with the girls. I found out that reggae music relaxes them. Like keeps them from being fussy, so they're on two floor mats right now being downright adorable. Grabbing for each other, kicking each other. Grabbing for the birds on the mobile. Making coos and screaming (happy screams like they're testing out their vocal chords for unhappy times.) My computer happened to be open, so I decided to crack open tea and such. If this posts is published mid-sentence it'll be because someone started to throw up, choke, kick her sister to death, cry at high decibels or just plain need my full attention. It happens.
  • They are SO CHUNKY! Just fat cheeks, necks, thighs, ankles and wrists. Their legs look like they pulled on fat leggings. Nothing is better than baby cankles, nothing at all.