Up in the middle of the night partly due to synchronized swimming in my belly, partly due to having a lot of my mind. As one of the [pointless] books I'm reading on having multiples told me, this may also be my body's way of preparing to be up a lot. Apparently babies need to eat for 15-20 minutes every 2-3 hours. So that's 8-12 feedings a day for two people... from my breasts, I'll never sleep again.
But that's not what we're here to talk about today. Today, we're here to talk about my latest dream.
I was at home, in the kitchen and the lights in New York, went off, but my light stayed on. It was weird, then my light flickered off and I was nervous because there's so much food in the fridge and freezer. Then one person's light came on and I could see DIRECTLY into their home and it scared me because usually, you can't see into people's homes that easily.
So then my light came back on, but I quickly turned it off because I didn't want people staring into my apartment since it was one of only a few lights on.
So then I got a message that everyone in the projects had to report to a seminar that was happening during the blackout. And I was like "I don't live in the projects. I'm project-adjacent." Then I found out they meant anyone who's lights had gone out, projects or not. So I went. It ended up being a class about childbirth and childrearing and it had 4 important points and I wrote them down.
I also thought, these classes aren't so bad. I always heard and/or assumed that classes for low income mothers are/were patronizing. Sort of the way high school would be patronizing if you went as a 30 year old adult, but it wasn't at all.
Then we got word that the lights were back on and we could leave. So we pile out, but someone is in the parking lot brandishing two guns, saying he was mad he didn't get invited to the seminar. And he was like "These are my projects, too, why wasn't I invited."
But people KEPT filing out. Like they figured he could only shoot so many people and he wanted to get home.
But I'm pregnant with twins, so I can't just be taking a chance at losing 3 lives like that. So I went back through the auditorium and out of the back door and he was out there too. And in that moment, I felt so much despair because I couldn't leave out of the front or back, no one else was as scared as I was and I was SO fatigued. I just wanted to sleep.
And then I think I shook myself out of that nightmare to go to the bathroom. I need happier dreams, folks.