Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Everything Hurts

I just unsnapped my bra at work because everything hurts. I don't even think my breasts are bigger, they are just displaced by my boulder belly.

I'm 30 weeks today, here's a list of things that hurt.

1. My head, because I have on a tight headband. Because it's easier to pull these naps back than to spend 45 minutes to an hour twisting it. I've twisted my hair 3 times since I gotten a botch cut/been pregnant. First I had to wait for it to grow. Then I twisted it once for practice and two more times for both of my baby showers. I have no pictures from my pregnancy with my head in them outside of the baby showers.

2. To stand - I bought a granny chair for the shower. I sit on the toilet when I brush my teeth. I don't cook or clean. I was standing at the copy machine printing out my birth plan at work. (Side note: why does the printer decide to back up when you are printing personal stuff? Err'body and their mama was gathered around waiting on stuff, I'm like "can I get my insurance papers off of here. pls.and.thx.) Anywho, I was at the printer and it took longer than 30 seconds, so

3. To walk. My groin muscle hurts. Like if I open my legs too wide, I'm going to pull it. Or if I open them too fast, it's a sharp shooting pain right under my clitoris. I don't care if this is TMI. You CHOSE to read this blog.

4. To sit. I have to have a pillow under me when I sit at all times. Even on couches. This doesn't work in the back of an Uber or on the MTA. On my way into work most days tears just stream down my face from the pain. ALSO my girls are kicking the living shit out of me. The fetal position is a thing of the past. They stretch out and they grab organs. I swear one of them has her hand on my cervix right now like "what's this mommy?" Dear Lord, the pain.

5. To climb stairs. I unfortunately have to walk up two flights of steps to get to work and two flights of steps (different steps) to get home from work. Every OTHER MTA station has a working elevator. Not all of them. IT BLOWS!

6. To lie down. I have to have pillows for this activity as well. If I lie down without being surrounding by pillows I'm just lying in pain until I can secure a pillow.

7. To turn over in bed. I have to sleep on my left side. Sometimes I want to sleep on my right side because I get leg cramps from so much weight being on my left

8. To breathe. My diaphragm is basically in my throat and it doesn't move. So simple things like walking from my bedroom to the kitchen in 600 sq ft apartment have my heart beating out of my chest and then I get hot and start to feel faint and sit down and... see #4.  

One result of this is people saying things like: "you don't look happy today." Accurate. Or "You look uncomfortable." That's being kind folks.

I look how I feel. A mess. I don't have the energy to put on earrings or mascara or pluck my eyebrows or twist my hair or shave the bottom part of my legs that's coming out of my leggings and so I'm glad people can see that. So they don't have some idea that carrying twins is fun or easy.

My bills are paid and my children are healthy and that's the best I can hope for during this torturous third trimester. Pray my strength.

1 comment:

Ishea said...

You need to go ahead and get those protective styles on deck! You can look cute and have zero styling time one those babies come.