Friday, February 5, 2016

Big Belly Tragedies/Funnies

So many funny stories while I'm pregnant. My bff will tell you that I've BEEN absentminded and this is not "pregnancy brain." As the only adult I've ever lived with who's not family, she's seen me come back in the house two and three times for different things that I forgot. She doesn't understand it at all.

With two babies on the way, it's grossly exacerbated.Have we discussed how I have to pay for tuition for two people at the same damn time. I have a lot on my noggin right now.

Anywho, here are some pregnancy funnies/tragedies. Some are physical and others are due to my mind being FAR, FAR AWAY.
  • When you're pregnant your center of balance is off. This is especially funny/tragic during a late night bathroom break. I definitely MEANT to put my vagina on the side of the toilet instead of the middle.Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant to do. O_O 
  • On the phone with my building's manages office: *belches loudly, but with my mouth closed, so I say excuse me, but I didn't think he actually heard it* Receptionist says: "You had a good lunch today, huh?" I'm like "I'm pregnant. It happens."
  • One day I tried to get on the train without using my MTA card. It was during rush hour. I cursed at myself. People were looking at me like "just swipe your card again" not knowing I didn't even have my card out to swipe in the FIRST place. 
  • Monday, I stayed at the doctor's office for two hours to get a new prescription (90-day vs. month by month) because I have new insurance. Last night I downloaded a prescription refill form. Today I printed it out at work, filled it out, dropped it in the mailbox... The ACTUAL prescription is still in my purse. #DOH! 
  • One day I was working from home. I was so excited about making a salad topped with boneless skinless chicken breasts. I cut up all the veggies, made a homemade dressing, tossed that salad... and left the chicken in the oven. Ooh wee, I'm absentminded while I'm pregnant.

No comments: