Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Spirit Airlines... An Entire Mess

I'm a New Yorker now. I'm an expectant mother. I don't have extra funds to trick off on niceties, but I MUST be home for Christmas. I missed Thanksgiving in the Chi and while hosting my first Thanksgiving in my little New York apartment gave me all the feels, there is truly no place like home.

Holiday travel is expensive, so I've been sewing together airline points and miles trying to get home without it costing the sacrifice of one of my unborn children. I have a credit on Delta Airlines (in theory) and wanted to cash in that credit for my departure to Chicago. I ended up getting a Wanna Get Away fare on Southwest for the flight back. There's a break in communique between the Delta refund office and the Delta ticketing office which resulting in them saying something like:

"We see the credit, but we can't issue it. Can you ask refund for XYZ info." Of course, I can only email the refund department and their turnaround time is too long for me to be waiting to get a flight... This was weeks before I was set to travel.

So I broke down and got a Spirit Airlines flight. Despite reading Luvvie's first post and Luvvie's second post (and all the comments) and seeing this YouTube video (it's seriously worth all eight minutes of watching), I still broke down and did it.

As you can see from reading this post, I'm still alive. Tomorrow, I'll tell you how to survive. Since my expectations were so low and I had a cauldron of folks praying for me it wasn't THAT bad, but today, I'll tell you all the things that annoyed me about this flight.

  • There's no handicapped seating or priority boarding. As a pregnant woman this is paramount to me having a good flight. When I got to the gate, there were three flights going out before mine and people were just EVERY WHERE. It looks like a sleep in at a college campus. I took my bougie behind to sit in the Southwest seats adjacent to Spirit, so I wouldn't have to stare at people who looked down an out for an hour. 
  • Not only do the seats NOT recline, but they seem to be more upright than regular seats that don't recline. They really pack you onto the plane. I could feel the knees of the woman behind me in my back the whole flight and she didn't seem that tall. I was in an aisle seat and when she bent over to pick up her bag, I could feel her head graze my shoulder. Really Spirit? 
  • The flight attendants don't have anything to do. Since we're not getting drinks or snacks on this flight, they ensure your safety, then sit the hell down the entire rest of the flight. The ones on my plane TALKED THE ENTIRE TIME FROM NEW YORK TO CHICAGO. Yep, 2 hours of unprofessional folks yapping. They could have been swapping cookie recipes for all I know, but this is a night flight (took off at 10 p.m.) can you have SOME respect for customers. Read a book. 
  • And more about unprofessional flight attendants. I hate sitting in the aisle, but that's what happens when you're pregnant. If I need to make frequent bathroom trips I need access! I was woken up from my sleep so many times from someone's ass grazing my shoulder and I'm thinking "wow, a lot of people are using the bathroom on this flight." But no, it's unprofessional flight attendants on itty bitty planes who have no sense of their own body weight and no care for the "comfort" of their passengers. Note, comfort is different from safety. 
  • International passengers. I think when you're on a trip going a lot of different places your priority is on the cheapest form of travel. I live in New York, so I'm used to hearing different languages being spoken, but not so used to people not knowing or speaking English. OR knowing American customs. So I'm in the aisle. One foreign Asian girl in the middle seat. One presumably (from the accent) American woman in the window. 
  • FIRST, window chick walks up and assesses that I'm in the wrong seat. *clutches pearls* EVERYBODY KNOWS "F" is the window seat. Don't roll up on my with an F ticket talmbout you're supposed to be in the aisle. Like, is this your first flight ever? Might be. 
  • SECOND, window seat chick asked for an aisle elsewhere if one becomes available and it does. So I have to get my pregnant ass up, yet again to let her out. 
  • THIRD, Asian foreign chick does NOT move to the window seat. I wait for the plane door to close. Lights come down. I say "I don't think she's coming back." She says "I don't know." Then just stays in the middle seat. I fall asleep, wake up to her ass shifting in the seat TOUCHING ME UNNECESSARILY and I say "you don't want the window seat? She goes "no she might come back. Do you want the window seat?" I'm like no, because your ass is going to stay in the middle seat, still touching me and then when I have to get up and go pee, you're STILL going to be on my got damn nerves. I can't believe we sat on that two-hour flight right next to each other like we were married with NO ONE in the window seat. Complete waste of space.
  • Rude Passengers - And finally, this cooks my grits like you would not believe. I'm in aisle 28. Aisle 30 is the last row. As soon as the plane lands (11:23 p.m.), some dude from the last row walks his monkey ass up to the front of the plane like it's not 30 rows of people getting off in front of him. At this hour, there's no way there's a connecting flight. You're just rude. And just because you don't know better (first flight, international passenger) doesn't make you any less rude. About 5 more grown men did this to the point that people who DON'T know better thought they were supposed to. Your ride, your family, your business is not any more important than my ride, my family, my business. By going out of order, you eff of the flow in general, just wait your damn turn. 

So yeah, I didn't have the plane delays, cut up seats, mean flight attendants (they were unprofessional, but friendly as hell) or unplanned overage fees that other people complain about (mostly due to the corporate prayer I called for before I took off), but the issued I had on this flight are specific to the types of people who choose to fly this raggedy airline. I made it safely. I was just plain annoyed.

1 comment:

Ishea said...

I'm glad to read your post so I can continue not having to fly Spirit Airlines ever lol...