Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Pregnancy Sucks!

I'm 19 weeks pregnant today. The three of you that read this blog should know that already. Now that I've done most of my in-person announcements, I'm ready to start blogging about it.

I was going to start another blog, but overestimated my energy levels. I am capital T, Tired. But there's so much to tell you.

Starting with all of the things NO ONE TELLS YOU, about pregnancy. This post is gross, as is pregnancy.

Here's what I've experienced so far, and I'll try to go in order of arrival.

Nausea - Feels like I'm going to throw up every minute that I'm not force feeding myself with food.
Diarrhea - Nothing like the shits.
Constipation - Sometime in the same day as diarrhea, which is just wrong.
Fatigue -  This is not the same as "I'm sleepy." This is "I'm minding my own business in the middle of a conference call and BOOM! I can't keep my eyes open" I've never been this tired before (and apparently this is just the beginning)
Gas - From all ends. It's especially embarrassing, when I think I have to go number 2 in the bathroom at work, but really it's an orchestra of farts. I just don't even care anymore. What can I do...
Bloating - This is different from gas.
Indigestion - I seriously have to eat like a child. PB&J, grilled cheese, mac & cheese. Don't put more than three seasonings on my meat. The food is coming back up... better a cheese sandwich coming up than a curry dish. 
Vomiting - Unlike all the happy-go-lucky mom magazines and websites that tell you the second trimester will be SO MUCH BETTER, I actually have thrown up more in my 2nd trimester than in my first. 
Hemmorhoids - Yep. 
Sharting - yep.
Bacne (Back acne) - can I be honest and just say I'm glad it's not on my face
Swollen toes - My feet are so skinny, the whole foot hasn't swollen yet, but my poor little toothpick toes look like vienna sausages now. 
Increased sense of smell - This is NOT a benefit in the city of New York. Often leads to nausea, vomiting, sometimes diarrhea

Smelly urine - Actually, I can't tell if it stinks more or if my senses are just like "urine has never smelled nice"
Peeing a little bit when you laugh, cough, sneeze - It has begun
PAIN - Oh, the pain. I have fibroids. They hurt. My belly growing hurts. My hips spreading hurts. It hurts to wear clothes. Bras hurts. It all hurts.
Sleep Deprivation - Fortunately for me, I got a Leachco pregnancy pillow. These things are AMAZING!
Dehydration - I have to drink a gallon of water a day to feel even remotely human. I rarely make the goal. 
Decreased bladder capacity - The bathroom is my second home, folks. For 3-5 of the reasons I've mentioned above, but getting up 3-5x in the middle of the night, when it's already hard to get to sleep because of this big ass belly is the WORST.
Anxiety - My mother told me this would happen, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about some new concern to get this world ready (and my life together) for these babies. This is the most important thing I've ever done and it's on my mind constantly.

Being pregnant [for me] is like getting off a 12-hour flight, immediately running a marathon, all while having food poisoning and two tumors in my stomach. Seriously, IT'S THAT BAD!

I'm so happy I'm having twins because I am never doing this again. My body is angry with me. 

Get ready for a bunch of posts that give you the real about what it's like to be pregnant. I'm trying to inform the masses.


Sunshine said...

Coming out of lurker status to say congrats! I actually want to have twins :) Hope those symptoms ease up!

Miss Ti said...

Congratulations!!!! :-)

sixtwentysevenblog said...

Yay! I'm so excited you'll be blogging about it. Can't wait to read all of the exciting, honest stories. Refreshing take on motherhood :)

K to the... said...

Omg, fa real!?! Congratulations!!!! Baby Teaandsuch on THEE waaaaaayyyy!!!!

K to the... said...

AND TWINS!??! (I apparently commented before I finished reading) happy for you!!!

Michelle said...

Congratulations! I'm enjoy your blog and think you'll be a really great mother. I'm happy for you.

Kanae J said...

Congrats again. I'm so excited for you!!!!! Diarrhea is the worst, and my gas was worse while pregnant. Both B and I loved that pillow. Her name was Marcy. Instead of acne, I got the dark neck. Yikes! Always looking like I had a dirty neck. 😔👀👀😔👀 and man I was such s b while pregnant.