My belly is heavy! If I sit for too long, my legs lock up. If I stand for two long, my legs lock up. If I don't have a pillow under my butt, my belly digs into my pubic area and it hurts like hell, like I got punched. Gravity is a MF.
Another thing my doctor pointed out to me when I told him I attempted to [gasp!] exercise in my first trimester is that as a mom of twins, I don't have to exercise. Actually, I should stop immediately. (By that time, I had already canceled my membership and gotten my money back). Just breathing is hard work. When I wake up in the morning, I'm pumping blood for three people. And it's bad now (walking up one flight of stairs on the train has me winded, virtually in tears), but he said at about 30 weeks it's going to be insane. That's why you see so many twin moms on bed rest. This ish is no joke.
So I'm learning how to walk and move and just be in this new awkwardly shaped (and ever growing) body.
Do you know what helps, juking? Yep, bending it over and backing it up. I can't exactly go to the club pregnant. I can't even stay up past 8:30 p.m. at night, so I dance by myself. I don't even let my boyfriend see me doing it.
But most days when I get home from work, I take off my clothes (I effing hate clothes now), put on a moo moo (I need my crouch covered and no seams touching my body. Yes, I have moo moo requirements) and throw dat azz in a circle.
I imagine it's the funniest thing anyone would ever see, if I ever let anyone see it. But I won't. Like my shoe parties, you just have to take my word for it.
Oh, the moments.