Saturday, August 29, 2015

Most Comfortable Ballet Flats

Writing this post for three reasons.

- Krystal asked on her Facebook wall and this post wrote itself.
- It'll be a nice reference when I need some ballet flats, which is like: all the time.
- I haven't posted in almost three weeks. People probably thought I quit.

Anywho, here's a list of the most comfortable ballet flats.

10. Ollio
9. Kenneth Cole Reaction
8. Call It Spring
7. Croc
6. Aerosoles (Can sometimes find at Ross for $7)
5. Me Too
4. Sam & Libby
3. Tieks

2. Indigo by Clark's
1. Pumas

Bonus B Selections
- Born
- Bjorn
- Bloch (because they make actual ballet flats)
- Banana Republic (Wait for the 40% coupon)

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

They Said WHAT?

So I chose to go to Joy's baby shower and I made the right decision. A trip to Pittsburgh on the weekend, also FURTHER lets me know I made the right decision to move to New York, but that's a whole 'nother post.

Joy's baby shower was ghetto. And I don't mean ghetto as in "In Living Color" funny ghetto. I mean I represented the height of poverty and it was one of the saddest things I've ever experienced.

When I arrived she was squatting in the back yard and one of her [17] siblings was putting on her eyelashes. Why is a woman/teen/child who is eight months pregnant squatting while someone who is clearly NOT pregnant is sitting down. Further, older family members were smoking cigarettes, weed and drinking 40s. Did I show up to a family bbq or a baby shower. I can't tell.

There were kids everywhere. You know how I feel about kids at baby showers. No.

One of her brothers and his wayward friends came in, ate all of the sandwiches and left. So by the time I got there, there was only crudite and some chicken on the grill. I was going to dinner later, so I didn't eat, but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't looking forward to some deviled eggs. There weren't any.

There was no air conditioning in the house. Now, I have family members who are not well-to-do. But typically the baby shower is at a family member's house who has more. This led me to believe that this was the most anyone in their family has and again, that made me sad.

There was also one fan in the house that was strategically positioned onto Joy, except when it wasn't. Like, how do you take a fan off of a pregnant woman/teen/child because you're hot. I was so angry.

So, we played some games. Watched the kids dance (that's always super fun) and then she opened gifts. She wasn't registered anywhere. No one bought anything of substance outside of bottles. There were clothes, baby Jordans, about a million pacifiers and then I bought a stroller. No car seat. No pack-n-play. No high chair. No crib. No crib mat. No towels. Nothing I've ever seen at a baby shower. And it just goes to show how blessed I am to have been at all these showers where people had truckloads of things to take home.

Also, no one wrote down the gifts, so I handled that. I also sent her cards and stamps and told her the proper things to do after a shower, so she's doing it. 

Then I go to a baby shower of someone who NEEDS truckloads of things and she didn't get what she needed.

I could let ALL of what I just told you go. So people don't have a lot of money to buy fancy gifts. They have family and they love each other and that's ok. Fine. So people haven't read the Emily Post book of etiquette and don't know what to do at weddings and showers. I can stop being stuck-up for 24 hours and let that go. No problem. So I didn't get any deviled eggs. No big. Fine.

But here's when things went south for me. Joy read all of her cards out loud. She's sort of glazed over this fact in the past because I could tell she's embarrassed about it, but she can't read cursive. That's right folks, they don't teach kids cursive in schools and so some kids can't read it. I wrote my card in cursive because I forgot, so I had to read it to her aloud in front of a room of people.

It was very inspirational. I know she's not a saint or a scholar, but I treat her like she's both because I expect her to act like she's both. She lives up to my expectations when she's with me. Somewhere in the card I said:

"To be a good example for your daughter, I know you'll get good grades, finish high school AND college and be there for her no matter what."

While I'm reading the card, two or three family members are adding their horribly negative commentary. "College?" "Really?" "Hmph. I don't know about all that." 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? Can you keep your negative ass , basic ass , mediocre ass comments to yourself? [I really need to stop cursing.]

It was at this moment that I realized that I was exactly where I was supposed to be that weekend. Because even though her "family" showed up for her shower (most of them bearing no gifts or contributions or even a positive attitude to the festivities), they're really not THERE for her. They didn't know I existed. They don't know anything about her or what's important to her or what she wants to do with her life. And this is not a judgement on her family. I didn't meet her at church camp, so I should have expected some of this, but I just didn't know what to expect. Sometimes you can't give what you don't have. If folks don't have ambition, they can't instill it in her. If folks don't have etiquette, they can't teach it to her. If folks don't have a positive outlook on life, they can't share it with her.

When I first arrived, I thought I'd made a mistake. Like maybe I was intruding on a personal, family affair. But, like I've always known, bloodlines don't dictate who your family is.

I'm happy I could be there for her and add some positivity at a special time in her life.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Pray for a successful [scholarship-receiving] college graduate. Our prayers and service are going to help break some barriers! Or at least I'll do everything in my power to make breaking barriers possible. Joy has to do the rest.

Monday, August 10, 2015

I Won Today

Today a coworker who is always dressed super cute (Think country club fly on the daily) told me I looked cute. And then she goes, "you ALWAYS dress so cute. I feel like I wear the same things over and over again."

So then I gush "But YOU always looks so cute and I feel like 'I' wear the same things over again"

You all already know I feel like a slob in NYC. I get up every day and look at my closet thinking "Don't be wack. Don't be wack." and like 2 days out of 7, I "feel like" I succeed. This just goes to show that no matter how down you get on yourself, you never know how other people see you.

AND if you don't tell people how you see them, they may never know. (Not that she needed my validation, but I was so flattered to get a compliment from such a put-together New Yorker!) 

I'm going to come back to this post when I need some encouragement. Nothing is ever as bad as my brain has convinced me that it is.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

I Miss Modesty

I'm learning in New York fashion trumps modesty. People look like whatever on the streets. On the one hand, it's empowering. It's like listen, be yourself and just rock out with whatever makes you happy. On the other hand when this "do what you want" shit shows up in my conference room, it bothers me. And the biggest issue is people don't KNOW they're wrong.

If you're in the south and you go to church without stocking on, you KNOW you're wrong. In New York, mogs will just have their skin showing at work and no one will bat an eyelash. It's driving me batty! Here are the top 10 things I sometimes love, but REALLY hate at work in New York

10. Women not wearing bras.
9. Women letting their bras show.
8. Halters, tanks, Racerback tanks (why am I looking at your back and side boob at work?)
7. Spaghetti straps tanks, spaghetti strap dresses, spaghetti strap jumpers.
6. Short jumpers at work
5. Short shorts at work.
4. Miniskirts and minidresses AT WORK!
3. Cutouts. How in the hell is it ok for me to be looking at your midriff, back, thigh, etc. at work... in meetings.
2. Club dresses at work. (This is just one chick in accounting and I just don't understand how she is still employed)
1. Bodycon dresses at work (not to be confused with shift minidresses (#4 on my list or short, but not fitted dresses #2 on my list)

Do you push the envelope with the "work" dress code? Do you have any pet peeves about how people dress at work? Am I being to uptight with my Southern Baptist upbringing and need to just let my bras and knee-length dresses go now that I'm a New Yorker.

And don't trip, on the weekend, I prefer to not wear bras (I really don't need them) and show a little thigh, but there's a time and a place and I just don't think M-F in a corporate environment is it.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Sneaking In Pools

Summertime Chi is really about that rooftop, boat and beach life, but if you want to keep it a indoors, you COULD sneak into a hotel pool.

Thrillist came up with a dope list of how to do so.