Friday, May 29, 2015

Mind. Blown.

Originally written on 5/6/2015


One day, hopefully soon, my blog will be in real time. I'm sitting in my homegirl's apartment reading my new lease that I'm supposed to be signing at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow. I have to send my questions to my lawyer, she has to answer my questions and review before that time. It's 12:18 a.m. #MightDontMakeIt

So much about this process is blowing me. I think the thing about getting older and having more experiences, is that I see things for what they are rather than what I want them to be. I love New York, but I'll be damned if it doesn't have some serious drawbacks.

Starting with everyone trying to get over on you all the time, which translates to my lease being 53 pages because they have to explicitly state everything. As I'm reading through this, there are a few things that stop me in my tracks and I wanted to share. Let's see if we can get to 10:

  • My apartment has hardwood floors and the lease says I'm supposed to cover 80% of it with carpet or a rug. Nah, son. 
  • There are so many references to "servants" in my lease. How many New Yorkers have servants? 
  • My building is listed as non-combustible, which after 1968 was changed to fireproof, which means if there's a fire I'm supposed to stay in my home for safety. Yeah, no. 
Ok, only 3 things. Sort of anticlimactic, but I wrote it, so I'm posting it.

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