Monday, May 25, 2015

I Don't Want to Do Anything

Originally written on 4/24/15

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I'm sitting here on my second cup of coffee, pulling an all nighter to get not one, but two writing tests done. Because I am in round three with not one, but three PR agencies in New York. I should be ecstatic. I'm not.

I'm bored out of my mind doing these writing tests. And I can't tell if this is a fear mechanism or if I really don't care for these jobs that I'm actually very skilled at doing.

I'm running down a few lanes in my job search.

1. Corporate PR (for a corporation, has to be a great fit in a good city)
2. PR Firms in New York (It needs to be a VP position or similar and in New York)
3. Sports Marketing, PR, Communications or Community Relations for a professional sports team (it could be in any city, if I respect the team)

I'm not so sure that I want to do #2. I know I want to move to New York. I know I don't want to do agency PR in Chicago. I would consider another agency PR job in Pittsburgh if the fit is right, but the types of things they have me doing on these writing tests is boring me to tears and I think it's a sign that even if I get the job I should turn it down.

HOWEVER, it also occurred to me that I just don't want to work anywhere. I want to be a stay-at-home-American. Somehow, even though, I'm not working for a living, I've managed to take on all of these nonprofit responsibilities and I think I could do a better job at at them if I didn't have to look for a job.

I also like keeping my home clean. That's much easier to do when I don't have to worry about finding a job. I also like relaxing, watching Hulu Plus, not checking email and/or answering phone calls or texts and checking Instagram and Pinterest nonstop. I'm a happier, more jovial person when I can do these things. I'm less irritable and less stressed and...

I'm running out of money.

This is why I originally wanted to be a house wife. It's a lot of work, BUT the reward is greater. Knowing you have a man who appreciates you and knowing you're contributing to someone else's professional success is likely more rewarding than running million dollar accounts for public relations agencies.

Maybe. I'm trippin. I'm procrastinating. I'm tired. I'm bored. I'm single and delusional. Maybe I'll play the lottery tomorrow. 

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