Friday, May 8, 2015

For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Expired Dijon Mustard When Bread, Meat and Cheese Weren't Enough.

Originally written on 3/4/15


I have sandwich problems.
I'm unemployed. Which means I'm at home most of the day, which means at lunch time, I don't NECESSARILY want to cook an entire meal or chop the fixins for a salad.
I don't usually eat bread in my home because I can keep about 5 or 6 pounds a year off by not eating bread and ice cream at home. No one has money to buy new clothes every year for some Wonder bread.
I decided that since I'm home all day, I will break my rule and purchase bread. I also got lunchmeat and cheese. Not having had bread here in um... 2 and a half years, there's a few things that people who usually buy bread have and I don't.

Peanut Butter. None.
Jelly. None.
Miracle Whip. Expired.
Mustard. Expired.
Dijon Mustard. Expired.

Fam, everything I need to make a sandwich is expired. Then I explore my poor neglected fridge further and...

Teriyaki sauce. Expired.
Soy sauce. Expired.
Lemon Juice. Expired.
Lime Juice. Expired.
Capers. Expired.
Olives. Expired.

I mean, I guess this means I don't eat a lot of processed foods and this is good. On the flip side, I probably dine out WAY too much. Otherwise, how did I not know all this stuff was expired.

On the day in question, I rolled up some turkey and cheese and ate four crackers like I was at a networking event that only provided crudite.

My sandwich struggle was real.

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