Monday, February 23, 2015

For the Homies Who've Left Us...

I'd like to pour out some liquor, an airline sized bottle, of course, for all the airlines that didn't make it. I was cleaning out my wallet and there are some airlines that couldn't cut it.

- ATA - I missed my first flight on your airline. Kicked it at Midway airport for 8 hours waiting to go standby because you had lines out of the door. It was traumatic, but it's the reason I arrive 2 hours beforehand (1 hour in Pittsburgh's one terminal airport) because I don't like dealing with that trauma. You taught me a lot, may you rest in peace.

- Air Tran - You were one of my faves. You got swallowed up by Southwest and now I can fly internationally for the low, low. I wish I could say you'll be missed. You won't.

- Continental - You got swallowed up by United. This is true malarkey. Your seats were bigger, your service was better, your people were friendlier. When it comes time for customer service training, can you ask United to use yours instead of theirs?

- America West Airlines - You were one step up from Spirit Airlines, which really isn't saying too much. You had the smallest seats and the meanest flight attendants and the cheapest pop. You got bought out by US Airways and then...

- US Airways - Or as I like to call you, useless airways. Your flight attendants told me I had to check my carry-on bag to my final destination, when there was actually room in the overhead bins, simply because I was in Group 5. I made the plane, my bags did not. You're liars and you're cheats and I hope American teaches you a few things.

I pray my favorite airline, Southwest keeps being awesome. I don't want to have to lay them to rest. What's your favorite airline in 2015? 

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