Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Low Places

There's something about taking public transportation that messes with my self-esteem. Sitting there waiting for a bus or a train for an extended period of time with no control whatsoever of whether it's coming or not makes me wonder am I really where I want to be in life. And not to mention all of the free time makes me extremely introspective and it turns my crazy switch right on.

This Thanksgiving weekend I didn't have a schedule and I didn't rent a car. If you know me, that would be shocking. I got in Wednesday night and the moment I opened the passenger door in my parent's garage my mom goes: are you about to get dressed and go out? I'm like no, I have no desire to be in these streets.

I saw some people. I missed A LOT of people.Then I skipped the Posh party and my close girlfriends throw that party, so I felt like crap about it. So while I'm waiting on the 146 after picking up books from Luvvie (and getting a much needed mani/pedi and these brows threaded for the gods), I'm thinking, am I a horrible friend? Is my life over because I'd rather play with my friend's two year old than go to a day party.

Have I made such despicable decisions in life that lead me to standing in the cold, sober with a bag full of books on a Saturday night when my peers are either spending time with their husbands and children OR standing on tables? How did I get here and is it ok?

Well, thank God for church and a word from the man of God. On Sunday, Pastor Hannah preached about how Abram got kicked out of Egypt because he had too much stuff. (Longer story. Genesis 13. Read it.) He made the parallel to how the devil will bring you down, but when he sees no matter what happens to you (sickness, losing a job, depression, loss of a loved one), you still give God the praise, he'll throw you out of [Egypt] whatever horrifying situation he catapulted you into because you are of no use to him. Even where you're low, you're still only of use to God.

Man that spoke to me. I was like let me turn this frown upside down. My life is amazing. Riding the CTA for four straight days almost had me thinking otherwise. If we're being honest car traffic is much worse. I read books on those train rides.

AND I wasn't a complete old fart. I went to a 90s party at Beauty Bar that night. There was no line, cheap cover, cheap coat check, cheap drinks and I wore flat shoes. It was a low stress, high reward partying experience. It was so lowkey, I might as well have been in Pittsburgh and I loved it. Wait.

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