The holidays are the most wonderful times of the year... or whatever. I spent the majority of my holiday group chatting with friends I couldn't spend as much time with about how crazy my family is.
A couple of funnies from the weekend.
- We do this every year. Every year dinner is late. It doesn't matter what the issue is. This year it was my stepfather doing a bunch of household projects that were uncompleted. Then my mom and I get in from the airport and have to clean up a dusty kitchen vs. actually cooking. And when I say from the airport, I mean I took the train from Midway to Forest Park because my mom wasn't done grocery shopping when my plane landed and therefore couldn't pick me up from the airport. And when I say "we" cleaned the kitchen, I mean, my mom did it and I went to sleep.
- My stepfather ended up frying turkeys (why isn't this spelled turkies?) like every year. Three funny stories here:
1. He was frying up turkeys for everyone in the neighborhood, so despite the sides being ready on time (I made mac n cheese and candied yams this year. Next year, dressing. If I keep this up, I'll just cook the whole damn meal myself and let my mom off the hook. [Never going to happen, but it sounds good.])
2. The process is oil the turkey with olive oil. Rub it in the rub, then stick it on the pole. Convo:
Stepdad *looks at dry ass turkey*: How much olive oil did you put on this?
Mom to me under her breath: Oops, I forgot.
Mom to stepdad: Um... not too much. Do I need to do more?
bwhahahahah. She eventually told him she forgot, but I was already in tears in the kitchen.
3. This year he had a rub and injections for our turkeys. Fried turkey tastes good without any seasoning, but he got excited. Bought some stuff online and was all hyped about it. My mom didn't want to do it, so she let him at it. Talking about he should be in the kitchen more often. Until it was done. Apparently, it's not a rub, it's a seasoning. You rub rubs. You sprinkle seasonings. He overdid. Anyone remember mom NOT wanting to do it. Then when the skin tastes like salt on a stick she goes: That's why men need to stay out of the kitchen. They think they know what they're doing, but they don't.