Thursday, April 17, 2014

Tea's Tangents

1. I really need a professional blog. I have so much to say, but I don't want to attach my company's name to this blog. I also don't want to maintain a separate blog.

2. I ALSO need a dating blog. I say quite a lot here, but I need to go stealth and REALLY give y'all the real deal on these dating situations. This is must-see TV, right here. Well... you know what I mean.

3. Why do body shapers ride up? I think I put this thing in the dryer and the elastic stopped working. Do I need to buy an entirely new one? Can I get this thing repaired? It cost a grip. I'm currently dealing with the worst wedgie in life because the body shaper keeps riding.

4. I know you're thinking: why do skinny people need body shapers. Let me ask you this? When was the last time you saw me? Do you REALLY know how much I weigh? Have you ever put your hand on my stomach? Are you sure that it's flat or was I wearing a fancy undergarment? Do you believe photos? I could be fat. You don't know for real.

5. Someone who's white as snow mentioned to me that he was a person of color. I just assumed he was some percent native American. I don't have time to be exploring wtf he was talking about.

6. Giving up liquor for Lent was perhaps the hardest thing that I've ever given up. It was easier to give up sugar than liquor. I can't believe people do this for 9 months straight. Children are the biggest sacrifice in life.

7. I'm turning into one of those people who doesn't like kids. The idea of children is beginning to turn me off, but mostly for the short term. I think if I had a husband and sanctified sex I would feel differently about it.

8. I mentioned that I don't like having sex with men with kids because I don't want to be the next baby mama. My goofass friends said I think they have SUPER SPERM. Like it's going to jump through the condom on me.

9. The girls I mentor had a sex ed class. It showed how the number of partners you're exposed to goes up as your partners increase. It went from 1:1 to 17:65,000 (or something like that). They're like "Ms. T, you're at least 23, so your numbers must be high." Then another one was like "You're studying that chart really hard. Is your number on the chart."

Sex ed at 30 at Sex ed at 15 bring two COMPLETELY different perspectives. I'm over here averaging, carrying the 1... A true mess.







1 comment:

Ishea said...

I couldn't be in there giving those children my ghetto, sex math. If you didn't like it, it doesn't count... (said with a straight face) lol