The funniest thing happened to me on Monday. I was going to Tweet it, but my friend who was the cause of the problem follows me (one of like three people who follow me on Twitter in Pittsburgh) and I didn't want to make her feel worse.
So she invites me to one of
her favorite spots, Mad Mex. Surprisingly, I know exactly where it is
and despite it being a Monday, I can actually make it there at a decent
I hightail it out of work, then have the worst
traffic on a road that is the only shortcut I know in Pittsburgh. What's
worse is that the traffic was a gaper's delay. Both lanes on my side of
a four lane highway were open, but idiots were just stopping to see
I get there, the hostess tells me I can
look around and I go upstairs, damn near into the kitchen. I don't see
my friend. She's black. This is Pittsburgh. No way it should have taken
me that long to find her.
My phone is on 11% at this
point and I call and text to see where she is. She's like come all the
way to the back. I'm like "past the kitchen"? She's like aw man, are you
at the Shadyside location. I'm like yeah, where else would I be. (She
lives in Shadyside). She's like dang, we're in Oakland.
like *scrunchy face* OAKLAND? Oakland is where the University of
Pittsburgh is. If I'm not in school there, I have NO BUSINESS being on
that campus. Just congestion and drunkenness and broke men... Oops, I
Then I remember that she went to Pitt.
That's her entire reason for being here and even though she graduated at
least 3 years ago, she probably still has some favorite spots that are
carryovers from her college days.
So she texts me the
address. My phone dies. I ask the valet how to get there. He sends me
off. I end up at the zoo. Anytime, you end up at a zoo, forest preserve,
natural habitat, national park... you think "Hmm... I may have made a
I get out and go to a gas station and
there are black people in it. I'm thinking "what neighborhood is this
that there are exclusively African-Americans here?" Damn shame.
So the brother gives me directions and once again, it's a send-off.
In 2014, people don't know how to give directions. In 2014, I don't know how to read and/or comprehend directions.
It was a mess on all fronts.
I just went home because I knew exactly how to get there from where I was (this is a win if I do say so myself).
Worst part. She'd already ordered me a taco salad and I now I have a taste for one and I'm not making it at home.
I need a new phone. I need to ask for addresses and ensure I know where
I'm going before I leave. I probably should have just went home after
work anyway since my budget doesn't really support all of this dining
out. Pittsburgh is a confusing, traffic-filled place to live, but I
think I can manage.