Friday, February 28, 2014

Funny To Me

I definitely have FOMO. No one could deny that. However, at some point, it became less about the bar and club scene and more about the house party, happy hour, theater, concert scene. So I unsubscribed from EVERY party listserv EVER. I figured if a club party was SO hot that I had to be there, my friends would be going and they'd just tell me about it.

However, every once in a while, these club emails and/or texts resurface. Either someone put my name on a list without my knowledge or there had been a dormant listserv at the time that I was unsubscribing.

When it comes to text listservs, sometimes the service is automated. Below see an illustration of how I tried to reply to a text message like it was coming from a real person. Then, when I realized it wasn't paying me any attention (weeks later), I started talking to it like a machine.

The conversation that ensued was funny to me.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

We Need Some Etiquette Rules

Texts messages are OUT.OF.CONTROL.

They are so prevalent in my day-to-day life that I miss text messages the way I miss emails. Like, I thought I responded, but I didn't. For the most part, what angers me is when people use text messages in ways that are impractical. Some of these things do not make sense. Good sense. Common sense. They just make no damn sense at all.

Here are the top 10 things that annoy me about the text messages I've been receiving lately.

10. People who text in the middle of the day and expect a response. I have a job. Like if you have something funny to say, fine. I'll read it, laugh and get back to work. But, if you really expect me to have a full-on conversation with you while I'm making money... just, don't.

9. A cousin to #10, people who expect an immediate response via text at any time of the day.They'll send a question. Then 2 minutes later follow up with a ? mark. REALLY?

8. People who send text messages that should CLEARLY be emails. Like if you asked me four things, you should have just sent an email. I don't have the attention span to answer all of your questions on my phone.

7. People who do not have iPhones trying to send and/or respond to group texts. Oh man, this is the worst. They're like "Who is this?" every time someone sends a group text.

6. People who forward stuff via text. Again, this is not an email. And email forwards died in 2001. Just stop.

5. Party promoter texts. More on this tomorrow.

4. People who text to tell you they called you. Was the voicemail broken? Are you too busy to call back? Like did I need an alert that you called BESIDES the missed call and/or the available voice messaging system? This is also a sign of arrogance. These are the same folks from #9. They need some business.

3. People who text and tell you to call them. Seriously? Are you out of daytime minutes? Why else wouldn't you just call me?

2. People who text and ASK if they can call you. This is especially disgusting when it's a guy I'm dating. It's like dude, man up, and pick up the phone. If I don't answer, call back or leave a message. Like how much face are you going to lose by just calling me. When you think about it, these same dudes will be trying to come in my house and buss me down three hours later, but you couldn't pick up the phone and call me? This reminds me. I have some dating stories for y'all...

1. Texts from coworkers. At times, this is appropriate, but these people will literally text me on nights and weekends. Or worse, I'll be sitting AT work AT my desk with my email OPEN and get a text. Really? You're not even going to TRY an appropriate means of communication. You're just going to go straight to text.

I'm not going to curse anyone out over it, but I've had to shake my head so much. I want the madness to end.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Can I Be Crass?

Let me just be crass for one post and then I promise to dial it back?

What's up with all these songs talking about pulling draws to the side. Jay-Z, Chris Brown, probably August Alsina. Everyone's talking about moving draws over.

What type of bathroom sex is the entire country participating in that they don't have time to take draws off. Also, for everyone who's not married and/or in a committed relationship, where you have seen your partner's test results um... what are you people thinking.

Art imitates life. There's no way they are not just making this stuff up. So aside from the complete irresponsibility of the thing, do y'all know how good slow sex is? I'm talking about turn ON the lights. Take off your clothes piece by piece and FOCUS on each part of the body and FEEL every movement sex. I'm sorry, my panties have to be completely removed for that exercise. It really beats rushed bathroom sex any day of the week.

Ok. Sorry, just had to get that out. I know a quickie is warranted every now and again (or you know once or twice a week in a I'm having sex 7-days a week type of relationship), but if radio (shout out to the Heat Station 47 on XM satellite radio) is any indicator, then folks are having too much quick, unsafe, sloppy [and what I bet is unfulfiling] sex.

Don't judge me. I'ma go read a scripture now.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I Didn't Even Have To Use My AK

This morning was bananas. I woke up this morning and it was snowing like the sky was mad. I decided to drive to work because I had something to do later that would require me to drive.

I got to work at 7:50... left my laptop at home. I've done this before. Fortunately, I'd driven to work. So even though I had to pay for the parking lot twice, at least I didn't have to walk through the snow back to my apartment.

Get back to the car and my house keys were on the ground. I've done this before. They fell out of my lap on the way to work. The good news is nobody snatched them and stole my car.

Get back to work at 8:35. 45 minutes just wasted. The good news is that I got to work early enough that absentmindedness didn't set me back.

Had meetings from 9:30 to noon. Then another set of meetings from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. At 12:45, when I decided to eat lunch, I dropped my iPhone in my Caesar Salad. Dressing ALL over the camera. The good news is that it's a 4 and the camera sucks ANYWAY.

I was DETERMINED not to be in a bad mood today and despite all the little things that could have ticked me off, I kept it positive.

People were complaining about the snow. I was happy it wasn't the polar vortex. People were complaining about the driving conditions, I was happy I didn't get into a car accident. People were complaining about meetings. I was happy my work day flew by.

To end it all, I supported black business tonight getting my taxes done. I don't owe the federal, state or local government any money (God [and itemized deductions] loveth a cheerful giver, Amen!) And I'm about to watch Being Mary Jane with half of Chicago (also known as my Twitter followers).

I'd say, today was a good day.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day... to Sallie Mae.

It's Friday! 
It's Pay Day!
It's Valentine's Day!

It's a good day! This morning I woke up and made love to my goal of paying off my Sallie Mae loan in the next 14 months. Ah yes, I made it rain on that hoe. Not 4 hours later and I was strongly considering buying myself a massage as a Vday present AND you know, stress relief. *look at budget* *looks at spa prices* #Iaintgonebeabletodoit

Sacrifice is no joke.

This time next year, I'm going to be staring at a $0 balance to her and that will feel so much better than a massage.

In the meantime... 

Happy Valentine's Day y'all!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Winter First Dates...

Winter first dates are so problematic. I need to be cute, but warm. Wear fly shoes, but be balanced enough to walk through ice and snow. Be feminine looking, but toasty.

I put all these shoes on the floor and was pouring over which to wear. Thought I'd capture the moment for you all. This is my life.

I love it though. So much promise in every option... every SHOE option, I mean.

Who has tips for winter dates? I know it's not just me.

Monday, February 10, 2014

About Complaining...

I was talking one day and I said:

"So I was complaining on Facebook yesterday... actually, no I was not complaining, I was stating facts."

Then everyone nodded their head in agreement with me.

I was wrong and they were dead wrong.

It recently occurred to me that complaining is stating negative facts. Because if I was truly just stating facts, then it would be like my car works, my heat works, I woke up and put two feet on the floor without thinking about it and they connected to my other body parts and they all work.

The attitude of gratitude is someone like the emotion of happiness. I have to work at it. I have to consciously think about it.

The complaints are the one negative thing that happened to me in a single day, but it was like 1 million positive things that happened to me that same day, so why would I open my mouth to complain.

Social media is a problem. It's like I want to tell everyone all the bad stuff so they can commiserate with me and I can feel validated in my misery.

I can't say that I will never complain again. I mean, we all have to go to the post office and call Comcast and that just BEGS for a complain on Twitter.

But I am really trying to focus on the things coming out of me having a greater perspective. And if I only point out the negative, I'm doing a disservice to my creator who has blessed me with so much positive.

Just something that's been on my mind.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Lies, Just Lies...

As I challenge myself to have a better perspective on life, I realize just how many things are gray. It's not always all bad or all good. But people will paint that picture. I just read a blog that talked about how Mary Jane was horrible and EVERY image of black women on TV is horrible and includes infidelity, etc.


That's not true at all. Here's part of the comment that I left on that blog.

There ARE positive images of black women on TV. Oprah, Robin Roberts, Gayle King, Iyanla Vanzant, Essence Atkins in Are We There Yet (phenomenal family show, nobody watched it), Tracey Ellis Ross in Reed Between the Lines (phenomenal family show, nobody watched it) Joyful Drake, Kyla Pratt, Nadine Ellis, Erica Hubbard on Let's Stay Together, LaLa Anthony, Po and Dice (All Positive everything on their show), Tia and Tamera Mowry (went off the air, but gave us fabulous positivity). Brandy's character is pretty cool on the game, otherwise, the rest of them are pretty messy. Chandra Wilson and Jerrika Hinton on Grey's Anatomy. LisaRaye, Denise Vasi on Single Ladies (This is questionable as to whether it's positive or not, but how fly is their wardrobe?). Ashanti on Army Wives. 
I just rattled off 21 positive black women as a mix of real women, reality TV women and characters on shows. How in the world could I ever get into another conversation about how ALL images of US are one thing or another.

I'm so happy I'm on this journey to have an open perspective. My entire life is better by just thinking about things differently.

Question of the day: who did I miss? What other POSITIVE images are their on TV of black women. I know this isn't a comprehensive list.

Monday, February 3, 2014

About These Shoes

  • Waiting for shoes you bought online to arrive by checking the FedEx tracking number is like watching paint dry. Every morning of my vacation, I wake up and check it and it says it's closer and I'm thinking, maybe it'll get here today. I left for New York on Friday. The shoes arrived on Saturday.
  • Also, it should be noted that I'm the person who picks the shoes that are not available for overnight shipping. Such a mess.
  • I may really just take these shoes back to the store because I bought them FOR my NYC trip and who remembers that I'm not supposed to be shopping so that I can pay my student loans off. We're barely out of January and I cannot abstain. 
  • Who goes to the store and buys five pairs of shoes at a time.
  • It should be noted that according to Foursquare I haven't been to that store since July. That's a small feat in itself.
  • My best trick to not shop is to just stay out of the mall. But once I go for one thing, it's like GIVE ME ALL THE THINGS I HAVEN'T HAD SINCE THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE.
  • I also feel like my relationship with shopping is sometimes like my relationship with food and exercise. I've added a layer of guilt onto it that shouldn't be there. Like it's shoes, clothes and money. It's not betrying friends. And it makes me happy. And I have it to spend... Actually, no I don't. This is where the guilt comes in.

What about y'all? Do you love shoes? Shopping? Shoe Shopping? Do you place any limits on yourself when shopping? How do you become disciplined?

I have moments where I'm disciplined and moments when I'm not.