Saturday, January 11, 2014

I don't remember that

Why is it when I'm sick, I don't remember anything about the last time I was sick. My memory is already shot because I think too much about the future and I drink a lot (which causes memory loss). I think I also have the ability to suppress bad memories and everytime I get sick, it's a horribly bad memory.

When I have kids, I'm going to have to keep a journal that says "What to do when *insert child's name* gets sick." Otherwise, I will most certainly forget.

So I thought I had the flu. I Googled and read that if you have the flu, you get popsicles. So my mom went out and got me popsicles.

I didn't have the flu. I had a fever. And you get a fever at the onset of a cold. I'm sure I've had a cold before, why didn't I remember that?

Rest. Why didn't I remember that you absolutely MUST sit down when you're sick. Why didn't I remember that my version of sitting down is still doing too much because I do the most. Where is the part of my brain that keeps me safe by remembering to do things I haven't done before. I probably forgot it too. Blame it on the Goose.

Fluids. Why didn't I remember to drink like a fish at the ONSET of any cold symptoms. Feel a cough, drink a gallon of water, juice, Gatorade, tea, whatever. Just drink drown that thang.

Hot toddies. Man why didn't remember to have a hot toddy at the onset of a cold. I think I could have nipped this thing in the bud at the beginning if I treated it like a big problem vs. a small cough.

Vick's. One night Vick's was a savior. It was the only thing that kept me from coughing nonstop. Why didn't I remember the wonderful might power of Vick's?

More on cold remedies tomorrow.

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