Thursday, December 19, 2013

Let's Ban Weddings...

This Huff Po article has been making the rounds on Facebook and I have SO much to say about it.

The rhetoric on weddings is awesome:
  • The author notes that she's been in 7 weddings and only 2 of the couples are still married. Let me pause to brag that people are still married from every wedding that I've ever attended and/or stood up in. I know what you're thinking... keep living. But, seriously, I think I just have better friends. My friends aren't chasing weddings. We're chasing life partners and most of us are Christians who hold God's word and covenants in high regard. A piece of paper is not going to hold your marriage together. It has to be set on God's foundation. I pray for every married couple of know. We can bind the spirit of divorce. We can erase the option of divorce. Marriage CAN and WILL be successful in my circle. 
  • Another thing she said is what if you couldn't have a wedding until you had been married for 10 years already. Um... I LOVE THIS! It's like a wedding is a reward for doing what you said you were going to do vs. a big production for embarking on one of life's hardest journeys.
  • As much as I agree with this, weddings are a secondary form of income for me (and just downright fun), so I don't REALLY agree with it, but it sounds good.
  • If we're being honest, I may not have a big wedding. Shocking, I know. But I spent so much time paying down credit card debt and student loans. I'm trying to be debt free, not debt-full. I might elope.
Moving along, the rhetoric on baby showers was a mess:
  • She said she went to three teen baby showers and they was lavished with gifts, but the college student shower was not. Um... when I went to college, I had a "trunk party" and I still have some of those gifts to this day. Shouts out to my grandma'nem for that iron.
  • I don't think that we should deny teens a baby shower since they got pregnant as teens. Motherhood is hard enough as it is. Teen pregnancy is hard enough as it is. Their age and their burgeoning womb is reminder enough that they are teen moms. They don't need all this judgment and punishment from us. They need support.
  • AND I'm sick of the either/or rhetoric. You EITHER support women going to college OR you support women having babies. WHY NOT BOTH!
  • Again, when I graduated college, my mom rented out a room at a hotel and about 20 of my family members and supporters were there and they made me feel like a queen. They went around the table and told me how proud they were of me. It was seriously the best day of my life. We CAN celebrate women for their achievements and accomplishments. We can also celebrate life events for women and men. We don't have to be so ridiculous that we pit one against the other. 
I think this article is resonating with so many people because they are broke and tired of going to weddings and showers, but I'd encourage folks to learn the word no. If you don't want someone to have a shower, don't go. If you can't afford to be in a wedding, don't do it. If you know a young woman graduating from college and want to throw her a party with your life savings, knock yourself out.

How you operate your life is your choice and now that you have more information (like 5 out of 7 couples being divorced), you have more choices.  

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