Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Where NOT to find a mate

Someone Instagrammed a screenshot from Bossip about what HBCU homecomings were good for you. It said something like "for the husband-thirsty, try the Spelhouse reunion. There are a plethora of educated men, blah, blah, blah."

When I got over my initial disgust that women can win in rhetoric (A woman who makes it known that she wants a husband is husband-thirsty, but a woman who isn't quite ready to settle down is viewed as new-age and needing to take cues from women of old.)

So yeah, when I got over that I actually laughed out loud because homecoming is where you WON'T find a husband. Not because he's not there, but because he's not looking for a wife during homecoming weekend. I've met a ton of guys during big party weekends. It's never amounted to anything.

When there are too many good looking men and good looking women it's like overload. Everyone's trying to see who wants to be down for the weekend and then it's like hey, that was a good weekend and then everyone moves on with their lives.

Contrary to what Bossip will have you believe, here's a list of places that you shouldn't even expect a long term situation from. It's just not set up for that.

Where I won't find dates or mates (we may hang, but it's going nowhere fast):
  • Homecoming (any school)
  • Inauguration
  • NBA Allstar Weekend
  • Superbowl Weekend
  • Professional Conferences
  • At work
  • Strip Clubs (don't let those well-meaning magazine articles fool you ladies. I've yet to find a woman who met her HUSBAND at the strip club. It's not set up for that.)
Since I want to look on the bright side, here's another angle.

Where I've found dates (I've vibed with a lot of guys I met at these places. These aren't bad places to meet people, we just weren't compatible.)
  • Hardware stores
  • Grocery stores
  • The club (the BEST stories come from dating guys you met at the club. Where would I be without the stories?)
  • On the Street (LOL! Sometimes I have to walk to and from places and I meet people)
  • Fundraisers (Write a check, find a man! LOL!)
  • Church (When I was going to New Life in Chicago every week I could not for the life of me figure out how to convert any of those cuties committed to Christ into a long-term mate prospect. When we're at church we're worshipping, then we go home.)  
Places where I've found long-term mates
  • College (going to grad school for the purpose of having access to more men is not out of the bounds of what's possible)
  • Vacation (this may have been an anomaly, but hey, it works well for me.)
  • Through other friends  (this is my favorite way to meet people. I'm pretty sure this is how most people in the world have met their spouse. Google it. I'm pretty sure this is where the money is.)
What'd I miss? Where's a place I absolutely shouldn't expect to find a mate in? What's a place I may have overlooked.

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