It's funny because it's true. Y'all know I'm team #LowkeyCaking, but not really. So my top love languages [paraphrased] are:
1. Spending Time and
I'm currently [read: when I wrote this] dating a guy whose love language is obviously words of affirmation - not at all my speed.
How I feel: If I'm spending time hugged up with you (both of my love languages), you should KNOW that I enjoy spending time with you.
How he feels: I want to hear you say that you enjoy spending time with me.
First, I feel like if I tell him I enjoy spending time with him that I'm the ultimate cake. It's so unnatural to me. It's damn near embarrassing. Second, I feel like if/when I open up and start telling him how I feel (vs. showing him) I might run him away for being so honest. So as a self aware adult, I know that I put up walls when dating to protect myself from heartbreak, but I also know that those walls [unnecessarily] keep other people away.
It's like if I really like you, I will express it by spending more time with you than people who I don't really like, but I'm not going to say "hey, I really like you" because it makes me uncomfortable AND because when you leave [they always leave], then I can feel better about the fact that at least you didn't know I REALLY liked you.
Don't laugh at me. This seems so simple, but like everything in life, this connects to my childhood and family relationships. [Big T is not about that caking life either] My family isn't the one that says "I love you" every time we see each other or get off the phone. We just sit on the couch and watch movies together for hours on end, which means "Hey, I spent 7 hours with you that I could have been spending with someone else and that means I love you very much."
So here are my questions, 'cause I know it's a lot of open cakers reading my blog. (It's funny because it's true).
1. If words of affirmation is your love language, what do you want to hear from your partner and why? If words of affirmation is NOT your love language, but it IS your partner's how do you flex your style to accommodate his/hers?
2. How many words of affirmation are too many words? Like does he need to know I had a good time EVERY time we go out? Am I supposed to say it before we leave each other? Send it in a text? Couldn't texting him 24, 48, 72 hours later saying how I feel about him make him think I'm loco and/or needy?
I figure if I say yes to a 2nd date that should indicate that I had a good time the first time around, but I know everyone doesn't think like me.
Help me y'all!