Friday, May 31, 2013

Do It Now... I'm TRYING!!!

This title is funny because like my mentors says you either do it or you don't. You don't TRY to do anything. Saying I'm going to TRY to do something is like saying no, I'm not doing it. (She's hard on me).

I have about 12 points to make, not sure how eloquent this will be, but rock with me.

Since 2009, I've been extremely shaken up by the violence in Chicago. I've been preaching it starts with me, I have to do something. But when it comes to our youth, I haven't done anything. I reached out to Big Brothers, Big Sisters in my neighbhorhood. They didn't reply and I didn't follow up. Four years have passed and I'm still not a mentor.

So I move to Pittsburgh and it's SO hard to find volunteer ops here. This state is the second largest for elderly people and Pittsburgh has a lot of colleges and universities. This means that people have free time during the day to volunteer. So when I'm looking for volunteer ops, they're like 1. Can you volunteer with us from 9-5 M-F, I'm like hell naw, I have a job. Then they're like 2. Can you come meet with us during that time. I'm like what part of hell and naw don't you understand.

My goal this year was to volunteer once a quarter. It's frickin' May 31st and I have been of no service to anyone this year (but I donate a lot of money to stuff. I really do.)

So fast forward to now and I'm going to volunteer at a hospitality house (for people waiting on medical care and their families) and I'm going to mentor a young girl. 

But let me explain my frustration. It takes years to get anything done in this slow city. People want to meet with you to talk to you about what they're going to talk to you about. Between my work and travel schedule and their crazy it must be done M-F, 9-5 demands, I can barely find the hours to talk to them. But after we get off the phone, they send me what seems like the millionth email.

The point is, despite my concerted efforts, I am still filling out paperwork, shuffling schedules and talking about what I'm going to do and not damn doing it.

I'm mad at myself. I'm mad at paperwork. I'm mad at how nice people are in this city because they want to talk to you about their life story and tell you every function of the organization before you can get to work.

On a positive note, I will be somebody's mentor and have a regular shift at the hospitality house before the year is out and hopefully my contribution to society will put me in a better mood because between all of these emails, phone calls and background checks I'm feeling very useless to society right now.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Crushin' the Crew

Crushin' the crew is not allowed. Let me explain. First, I'm not using the word crush as urban lingo for smash or bang. I mean a real life I feel like I'm 16 again (except now instead of will he send me a note, I'm like will he like my pics on IG... a mess).

So every once in a while I get a crush on someone in my crew. Now, you have core crew members, people who's phone numbers you have. People who would grill at your house if you asked them to. People who know how to spell and say your name correctly.

Then you have extended crew members. The males friends, frat, family and otherwise attached fellas to the core members of your crew. The extended crew will be around. Maybe not as frequently, but you are guaranteed to see said fellas again and sometimes over and over again.

Man, I gotta stop crushin' the extended crew. Because if/when it doesn't work out it's SO awkward. I also have a tendency to want to know answers to unwanted questions when I'm um... excited. Yeah, we'll call it excited.

Last year sometime:
T: I have the biggest crush on you.
Extended crew member: Word, give me your number (or something like that)

***he never calls***
**crew time gets awkward**
*I heard he got a girlfriend*

This weekend

T: Hey, how's your girlfriend?
ECM: What girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.
T: Oh... *perplexed face* I could have sworn you had a girl. I thought that's why you didn't call me.
ECM: What are you talking :about?
T: I had THEE BIGGEST crush on you last year. I gave you my number. You never called. I thought it was because of ol' girl.
ECM: I don't remember getting your number. Was I drunk?
T: I don't know.
ECM: Oh ok... *walks away*

T: *picks face up*

WHOA! I was/am so embarrassed. I'm not feeling him anymore (duh, crushes fade), but this cracked face situation is the reason for my next statement.

So I'm crushin' another ECM, but I'll never tell him. I just can't deal with the possibility of rejection, especially since it's just a crush. It'll fade. It's only like 20 single dudes in the extended crew anyway. It's like a million other single dudes in the world whose faces I don't have to stare into at family barbecues if they're not feeling me. 

No more crushin' the crew. Well... until I get *excited. Womp.

Monday, May 20, 2013

How I Know Bey's Not Pregnant

  1. Because she is a workaholic and a perfectionist she would not get pregnant knowing she has a tour to do.
  2. She did a show and told the audience that her doctors told her not to. No mother is going to defy doctors at the risk of her baby for some fans. She's weird, but she ain't crazy.
  3. She probably just had a sandwich.
  4. Every since she announced that she was preggers with Blue Ivy she has broken all of her news herself. First pics of Blue? She broke it. Pics of the baby one years old. She broke it. Beyoncé is not about that "You tell my story" life any more. No, she will be the author of her own story henceforth and forever more. Believe that.
  5. Her publicist (and the Bey machine) has not confirmed it.
  6. She ain't tryna lose all this tour money.
  7. She ain't tryna lose all this endorsement money. (Please believe Pepsi, H&M and whoever else is doling out millions is not trying to hear about her being pregnant at a photo shoot. Nope.)
  8. Birth control exists and married people use it. (Contrary to popular belief). She ain't Catholic. Tell a friend.
  9. I bought tickets to see her in Vegas and I'm getting a blonde weave and ain't nobody got time to see someone with child try to back it up and drop it. Nope.
  10. Necole Bitchie said it's not true. So there's that.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Just That Simple

Sometimes life is not that deep. It just is what it is. Por ejemplo:

T: Did you say cookie?
Coworker: No, but I have a cookie at my desk. You can have it.
T: Oh, no worries. I have cookies at my desk already.
Coworker: Why do you always have cookies at your desk
T: Because I like cookies.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

New Car

Don't ask me why this has been sitting in my drafts for four months, but...

With the support of my stepfather and my honey and lots of trips/calls to Penndot, State Farm and my local Chevy dealer, I am proud to say I bought my first card today [read: the day I wrote this].

My mom goes: Scratch it off your bucket list. LOL!

It's a 2013 Silver Chevy Malibu with all the bells and whistles. I'll probably never drive it to Chicago, so just imagine that's what I'm driving when you see me in the Chi.

I can't believe I have a car again. It was strange at first, but not it's just normal. Things can change so quickly.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Blazing the Trail

Again, cleaning out my drafts and remembered that I wanted to post about Basketball Wives. This probably two seasons ago by now. #KanyeShrug

When in a clothing boutique and referencing her man, Gloria used the phrase "Blazing the Trail" to mean "Sowing your oats" or basically saying her man was cheating on her. I think that's hilarious.

Maybe more sad that hilarious, but definitely insightful. When people are in situations that you don't understand or agree with, it's like anthropology to see how they justify the things that they do or don't do that keep them where they are. 

VH1 gives me insight into the minds of crazy and I'm glad that I get to watch in on TV and not explore it in real life.

Friday, May 10, 2013

He Rose and I Survived!

Found this in my drafts. Easter was  over a month ago but...

I survived Lent 2013. 40 days and 40 nights (it's actually 46 and I need a good Catholic to come on here and explain why) without TV. No YouTube clips of TV, no Hulu, no podcasts of TV shows (someone seriously suggested this to me because it's not on the actual television. o_O)

I prayed daily. I had to. WHAT else could I have been doing that I couldn't find time to pray. (Plus in fasting when you want to do what you gave up, you're supposed to pray anyway, so there's that).

Here's a list of things I did since I couldn't watch TV. It's kind of funny because these are things I should be doing anyway, but don't (due to TV).

- Called my family on the phone
- Shredded documents
- Cooked
- Cleaned
- Went to the movies
- Read a book (or several)
- Exercised (a lot towards the the end)
- Updated my nonprofit's website
- Answers emails
- Updated my student loan debt repayment plan

I'm sure I did some other stuff that I wouldn't typically do because I'd be "too busy". But it was a great time and like all periods of sacrifice it taught me some things about myself.

How did Lent go for you?

Thursday, May 9, 2013

May 2013 Fitness Update

One of my goals was to achieve a flat belly and flat belly weight by my birthday. If you've seen any birthday pictures you know that all of my goods were covered up at every event. I thought that I could commit to keeping the belly tight without actually showing the belly. I probably cannot.

I changed my goal from a weight goal to a BMI goal and said that I would maintain a healthy weight in 2013. That's much more obtainable.

I did a #30for30 at the end of March, beginning of April. I feel off on day 26. It was like 80 degrees, there were happy hours followed by late nights. The day just came and went without a workout. I don't feel bad about it. Working out for 25 straight days is still a great accomplishment.

I had some travel right after the falloff, so I probably went about 2 full weeks without working out. Then, just like that, I went back to the gym. It wasn't difficult or a big adjustment at all, which makes me happy. This means that fitness is a part of my lifestyle and I'm off when I DON'T workout vs. being off when I do workout.

Working out is also necessary to get endorphins. Living in a city with no established relationships, it can be very easy to sit on the couch, eat pizza, watch TV and feel sorry for myself. Working out ensures that I don't succumb to pity parties endorphins are truly real. I'm a better relationship partner (work relationships, romantic relationships, friendships) when I work out.

So even though this isn't about a beach body, it's about a healthier lifestyle, we ARE about six weeks away from summer.

Check in! How is everyone doing with their fitness goals?

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Professional Party-er

I don't think partier or Party-er is a word, but...

I was a professional party-er in Chicago last weekend. Three straight nights (ok, who are we kidding days and nights) of drinking like a fish, but there were passouts, no bad nights and no ugly mornings. Here are some tips if you're planning any big party weekends. Like most things on the blog, this is a reference for me, but y'all are also welcome to it.

  • Hydrate. When I touched down in Chicago I went to Target and got a case of water. Kept it in the trunk of the rental and pretty much drank about 4-6 bottles every day. All a hangover is is dehydration. And we know alcohol dehydrates, so combat that by drinking water like you drink liquor and you'll be fine. I also drank a ton of water at the club. This does not make you a punk. This makes you someone who despises headaches and dry mouth.
  • Take your vitamins. When you're drunk you make poor decisions like going outside when it's 50 degrees with no coat on. And you're warm because you're drunk, so you don't even feel what your body is telling you. To combat this drunken stupidity, I take Airborne daily when it's a big party weekend. Gotta get
  • Take your supplements. You've heard of celebrities taking B12 shots to get their energy back up. Well, you too can get your energy back on track. I just take B12 the morning after a party night and it helped tremendously. This was a new tactic to help me get my life and I'm going to do it all the time now.
  • Eat like a man. Party weekends are no time for diets. Your body is not going to sustain the abuse of liquor if you're eating kale and quinoa. No, go get some burgers, fries, gyros, pizza, pasta and anything else you really want to eat anyway. I had three solid meals EVERY day. Not only did it improve my mood (you know I'm cranky when my blood sugar is low), it helped to soak up all the dranks.
  • Take naps. I rarely if ever get a full night sleep when I'm traveling. I used to have enough vacation time to take off the day before and the day after I travel to pack slowly, recuperate from flights. That is no longer the case. While good sleep is important, I find that it's also just a state of mind. If I tell myself "you only got 4 hours of sleep last night" I'm going to be tired and sluggish all day, but if I say "that was a nice LONG nap" then I'm good to go.
  • Visine. It gets the red out.
  • Have good friends. Someone needs to be the designated driver and someone needs to be the voice of reason. My friends made me get down from a table at the club because it was from Ikea - not built to sustain grown woman weight, they made executive decisions to NOT go to Harold's because I was too sleepy to get out of the car (still mad about that, actually) and they checked on me to make sure, despite mixing light and dark liquor and taking shots like I was 21 and had never tasted liquor before, that life was still good. It is, it was.
Happy Birthday To Me!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Chicago is my mistress

I hate infidelity. I've never cheated on anyone and I will never cheat on anyone. It's not my thing. I'd rather be single than to cheat on a man.

Howsoever, I recognize the sexiness, the allure of cheating. Like any other sin there is pleasure that you gain in doing something that you're not supposed to do.

There are also certain convenieces of cheating. In not having a true relationship, you don't have true relationship problems. You aren't arguing about who's taking out the trash because the hotel that you checked into to do your business has housekeeping. Who cares who takes out the trash.

While I was in Chicago last weekend, it occurred to me that Chicago is now my mistress.
I come into town. I don't have to pay any bills. I don't have to do any civic work. We don't argue. We don't fight. We just party. All we do is party. Then I go back to Pittsburgh and deal with real issues like getting up and going to work everyday.

Side note: I am seriously trying to figure out how to become a stay at home nothing. Not wife, not mom, just stay at home by myself. Do you know how happy you are on your day off? I want to feel like that every day.

I digress.

Home was amazing. It was everything I expected it to be. It was magical. It was like four days of nonstop love, fellowship and partying. It was so awesome and just right.

Then I had to hop on a plane to come back to where I live, despite where my heart is.

The good news is that I'm not married to Pittsburgh. We are however and unfortunately, in an exclusive relationship. And even though no mistress should ever believe this, as soon as I wrap up this little "situation" I'm having with Pittsburgh, I'm going to make Chicago my wife. (Or you know, a city with a booty as big as Chicago's. LOL!)

Do you cheat on your city with any other cities? Vegas? New Orleans? NYC? D.C.? I know it's not just me.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

An Airport Tale

(This events of this post happened forever ago, but it's a good story. I kept it in my drafts, so I could tell you all without you being able to trace the time or date... Some privacy is important)
I'm currently sitting in the airport. I'm not fuming anymore, but I'm seriously disappointed. I left work at 5 p.m. on the dot. I got to the airport at 5:46. I got to my gate at 6:13, where I noticed that the flight was delayed til 8:10.

I asked the gate agent, he said the flight was actually only delayed 5 minutes, so from 7:35 to 7:40. At about 7 p.m. something in me didn't feel right. The gate agent was gone, I look up and the flight is now delayed to 8:45 p.m. Now this would all be fine and good if I didn't have a connection. My connection is at 9:30 p.m. CT (All other times have been Eastern)

So I trot around the airport asking other airlines can they get me to my final destination TONIGHT. They cannot. In a moment of pure heartbreak the woman at the airline's call center told me if I'd called an hour earlier she could have gotten me on a flight that left moments after my flight was supposed to leave.

But I didn't. I called at 7 p.m. And they were busy. And they called me back between 9 and 17 minutes later and delivered the heartbreaking news that I would be staying in the city where my layover is and not meeting my honey across the country.

When I told him see you tomorrow yesterday, it meant two days from now and it sucks. It sucks because I don't have any time off work, so wherever I am I need to be working at 9 a.m. ET. It sucks because no one who I love lives in this city. So the disappointment of not being about to see him or POSSIBLY not being able to see him is magnified exponentially because I am so lonely in this medium sized city with its medium sized airport.

I guess on the bright side, everyone here has been extremely friendly and nice in helping me and they are really good at empathy. Either that or I look profoundly pitiful and they feel sorry for me.

I miss my honey. I miss Chicago. I miss flight options.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

I'm Outchea!

It's about time y'all knew. My honey turned sour.

This means I'm back on the dating scene... In Pittsburgh.

Just like today's post, there will be a delay on dating posts to protect the guilty, but expect some funny stories to come up.

Apparently, I'm doing better than MOST people who are not from here and need to date in this city. I've never been one for a slow start. I'm like "I'm here. Let's get it crackin'!"

Stay tuned.