Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Sneaking Around

Lying.
Dipping around corners.
Sweating palms.
Telling eyes.
Cheating.

That's what it feels like to interview for a new job. I'm always interviewing. not because I wanted so badly to leave, but because I need to make sure that I stay marketable. So when I made the decision to leave the PR agency, I just interviewed MORE than I usually do.

But my agency is casual dress. We wear jeans and hoodies to work. If you dress up you either have a client meeting, a happy hour situation after work, a date... something that has NOTHING to do with work.

I'm also a classic type of dresser. I think people interviewing should wear suits. I also recognize that I'm black and I'm a woman, so there are some biases that people are going to have, despite what I'm wearing. I don't want to add any fuel to discriminatory fire. I want to put my absolute best foot forward. I could be interviewing for a fast food restaurant and I would wear a suit. That's just who I am.

Ok, so not ONLY do I have to wear a suit, but "I" only have one suit. A black suit. Pants and a skirt to coordinate, but the skirt is too short for interviews. So I have one black pantsuit. Man, every single week, I'd put it in the cleaners and try to figure out what shirt to wear with it to make it look like I didn't wear the same thing to every interview.

I can't just walk into a PR agency where everyone looks like they're on their way to a college football game with a black pantsuit on. People would either think I was on the way to a funeral or KNOW that I was interviewing. Not cool. Sometimes I would wear a blazer with jeans. And sometimes I would wear black pants with a cardigan (to dress it down), but at some point I had to change my clothes. Get to the interview and get BACK to work without being found out.

So I changed my clothes in a bevy of places, a hotel bathroom, a hospital bathroom, the bathroom at Macy's. Do you know how weird it is to change your clothes in a Macy's bathroom? You're like LAWD, I hope no one sees me and I hope no one thinks I'm a woman of the night.

I'm glad I found a new job, so I don't have to feel like a cheater anymore. But I'm also glad that it's business casual, so that when I decide to interview again, my dipoffs don't make me feel like a cheater.

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