Disclaimer: Posts like this make me lose my male readers. Brad was mad that I was talking about budgets and bikini #KanyeShrug... Ah well.
Now that I can no longer wear jeans to work, the sheath and the pencil skirt have been resurrected out of my closet and this is causing some true undergarments struggles for me. I don't want my panty lines showing, BUT I must wear drawls. [Side note: If you know a woman who doesn't wear drawls, she either has wet pants or a dry vagina. Both are #realissues. #NoThankYou]
I digress. Let's talk practically: problems and solutions
- I tried thongs, g-strings, v-strings... [they are uncomfortable for more than four hours at a time AND] you can still see them under my clothes. How is that winning?
- I tried Victoria's Secret no-show panties... THEY SHOW. They also flatten my butt more than they should for a girl who's already starting with a small booty. It's just WRONG.
- I tried boy shorts. You can see the seams on the bottom of those joints. It makes it look like I have a long white tee tucked into my crotch.
I damn near need to wear biking shorts under my skirts and dresses to prevent panty lines from showing and biking shorts are bulky. Where can one even find a biking short in 2012. I'll wait.
Who started this "I-don't want to see your drawls" phenomenon? Probably a man. What's wrong with panty lines and why am I subject to trying on a million pair of unmentionables in order make sure people have no evidence of the fact that I have them on. I can't mention 'em. You don't want to see them, but they must be there.
Am I going to be relagated to wearing hammer pants for the rest of my life? There HAS to be a solution. Ladies, who has some good suggestions for brands of seamless underwear that you actually cannot see? Maidenform? La Perla? Good ol' Hanes Her Way? Someone help me out.