Meal for a week

Ok, so the theme this year has been I am STRESSED OUT. And it's never been as bad as it is right now. I don't know who I am any more.

I eat out more than I cook (or don't eat at all)

I haven't been to the gym regularly since June

I'd rather sleep than hang out with my friends

(Before y'all call the depressions centers of America, LOL!)... I have been open to suggestions. So my big brother [love his life!] suggested that I cook meals for the week on the weekend. At first I was like that sounds like work, but then I remember how much I like eating, so I sat down with my Peapod list and decided this should be easy breezy. So here's the menu.

Sunday - Chicken Stir Fry salad

Monday - Leftover Stir Fry Catered dinner at a work meeting

Tuesday - Chicken Salad (with more leftover chicken from the Stir Fry)

Chik-Fil-a

Wednesday - Rigatoni with Italian Sausage Catered dinner at work

Thursday - Sausage and Peppers A TV dinner at work (I put the sausage and peppers & Rigatoni in the freezer for next week because I'm never home when it's time to eat.)

Friday - Leftover Rigatoni I'll be eating whatever's available at Happy Hour or bowling

All week - HOMEMADE CHEDDAR BISCUITS... oh... they make my heart happy.

So on Sunday I was feeling chicken and Italian sausage real tough. Who knew I'd never been home in time to even attempt to eat a home cooked meal.

One week, when I don't have action every night after work, I might do a mess of things with beef stew meat. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Or if I ever decide to do this again, I will take half of the food to work for lunch/dinner.

Any other ideas for themed week meals?

Debt Free Store

You know how you go into Nordstrom and you see a pair of shoes and it puts the desire in your heart to have those shoes. Like even if you don't get those shoes at that time the seed has been planted and one day you will break down and

1. Buy those shoes
2. Buy shoes like those shoes
3. Buy a jacket at another store the same color of those shoes...

You see where I'm going with this once the desire is there and desire is what fuels action.

I wish that there was a debt-free store. I could go in there and see debt-free and then have the desire in my heart to get it.

Or a good credit score. I imagine good credit (well, I have good credit). I imagine better credit looks like like a shiny pair of news shoes. Just leathery and buttery and soft and fabulous. Oh how I wish I could see better credit in a mall and just fantasize about it the way I fantasize about thigh high boots.

I'll tell you what. One day I will be debt free AND have better credit AND buy any pair of thigh high boots I want. One day all of those things will work together. I'm laying the foundation, but right now I just wish...

To the Jungle Fever Beat

Pardon the vernacular *clears throat* Ahem...

I'm gone be an auntie*
I'm gone be an auntie
I'm gone be an auntie
ONE MORE TIME!!!

Everybody sing...

*Dear white friends reading this. None of my siblings are actually pregnant, neither are my brothers' girlfriends expecting. In the black community children do not call their friends' parents by their first names as a sign of respect. However, I'm not about to have my homies' kids calling me Ms. [insert my last name].

Therefore when you are close to someone and they have a child, you become an unofficial aunt to that child - also called a play aunt. Therefore I have nieces and nephews all across the country that have no blood relation to my mama. Get it? Got it. Good!

Now... sing it with me now.

I'm gone be an auntie!
I'm gone be an auntie!
I'm gone be an auntie!
ONE MORE TIME!!!!

Do You UPromise?

I signed up for UPromise eons ago and seriously forget about it until it drops money on my student loans.

How it works:

• You give YouPromise all of your credit cards numbers (scary, I know)
• You buy stuff and they give you credit for it (it seriously takes like a year to get $25 credit)
• When your credit gets to a certain amount of money ($25), then they pay it directly to your student loan

I like it because it's free money and yes, they're tracking my payments and likely selling my shopping patterns to companies that send me catalogs in the mail, but everyone tracks shopping patterns. You don't think that Jewel preferred card is because they want to be nice to you, do you? Unless you walk everywhere and only deal in cash, everything you do is tracked somewhere. Might as well get paid for it.

Do you use UPromise?

Deals & Steals

Are you signed up for Groupon, Living Social, YouSwoop any of the 50-75% off deals. I'm seriously thinking about unsubscribing. It puts desire in my heart to buy things I wasn't thinking about buying.

For some people, like a couple friend of mine, it's a good way to have cheap date night, but for me it just upsets me when I want a deal, but don't have any cash to buy it.

And honestly, the mani/pedi/wax/massage deals aren't all that. I'd rather pay the big bucks at a salon I know and trust than to test services on new places. I'd say 75% of the time, I'm not pleased with the service when I buy a "deal". That's a problem.

What I may do is set aside $50 to $100 a month for deals and steals, then just go to the web site to see what it is, rather than have it enticing me in my inbox every day.

So what's your philosophy on it? How do you Groupon?

What to wear: To meet his parents

Friends, Romans, Countrymen: These are hypothetical what to wear situations. I'm tucking your responses away in my date chest to help me get dressed in the [could be very near or could be very far away] future. I MAY or MAY NOT actually be doing half the stuff I'm asking about outfits for. Don't go getting all excited and jinxing my good time (not that I'm dating someone right now and having a really good time... whatever).

Now, back to the question of the day... his parents are in town and/or I'm going with him out of town to meet the 'rents and I have no idea what we're doing/where we're going. (Or maybe his parents live here... I'm giving y'all way too much in this damn blog post.)

So... what do I wear? Go ahead and throw a weekend of fits in there. Is anyone else having as much fun dressing me as I am thinking about the possibilities?

Watch these posts have me in the mall. Womp.

What to wear: To Watch Football

Um... I LOVE the suggestions from yesterday, so we're going to just keep this party going. And South Loop Social Light is right, I don't REALLY resemble sponge bob square pants. My calves are WAY flyer than his. LOL! No, but seriously, it's fun to take digs are yourself from time to time, lest people think you're hopelessly conceited (when you're really just normal levels of conceited).

Anywho, you [sort of] have my proportions from yesterday and/or you know me in real life. He wants to watch football either at a bar or at my house or at his house.

What do I wear and.... go!!!

What to Wear: To the Movies

Alright folks, since I kicked the week of talking about dating, I might as well keep the party going. Let's play dress up, I'm 5'5, somewhere b/t 130 and 140 lbs (I don't own a scale and I quit the gym, so I don't know).

I have no tush and minimal assets, but they fit my small frame. Think Barbie's size with Sponge Bob's proportions and a pretty face.

Ok, he wants to go to the movies. It's the fall... what do I wear and... go!!!

Random-est Dating Question

So... at what point are you no longer "dating" but actually just spending time. Is it after date number 3? I feel kind of weird being like "We're going on our 10th date on XXXday."

Is it just me? Like what phrases am I supposed to use to describe what's going on with someone I'm not exclusively seeing, but who I see all the time?

Help a sister with some key messages please. :-)

People Don't Sleep No Mo

All they do is this:



This stuff is awesome. Straight up and straight down. None of the jitters that you get from other energy drinks. I highly recommend it when you need a boost.

Just don't take two like I did one day. Your eyebrows will move by themselves. #Truestory.

Happy Weekend for real now. Wish me safe travels and a Bears win.

Jockin' Levi's

Ok, in all my gushing yesterday, I forgot to tell you all about my favorite fit. The Boyfriend Skinny jean.... let me explain this to you.

It's tight in the thighs, legs, calves and ankles, BUT IT'S LOOSE IN THE STOMACH!

Do you understand what I'm saying. You can be fly and still breathe. I imagine this is especially nice for boxy shapes like man. My hips, back and bum are all the same body part. I tried out for Spongebob Squarepants, they said I wasn't shapely enough. Ok, I'm kidding. I love my shape, but you know a square booty when you see one.

These jeans PUT IN WORK. If you get them go down a size, maybe too depending on the wash.

Ok, I think I'm done jockin' Levi's.

Happy Weekend! (I'm going to New Orleans for the Bears game, so I'm trying to rush the weekend. LOL!)

Mr. Strauss Got it Right

I did my first research paper on the history of jeans. Oh yes, even as a tot, I was pretty effing fabulous (and smart) - Mr. Levi Strauss got me a glorious A. Not only did I learn about the pioneer in denim and real purpose of rivets, but I gained a newfound appreciation for something we all take for granted.

Fast forward... light years... and here I am still confused about which jeans to buy to make my flat tush look delightful.

Well, 138 years later, Levi's still got it right. I sort of lost my damn mind in the store this weekend, but nothing I bought costs more than $80. For a girl who likes to buy Joe's jeans just because, that's not half bad.

Further, what made me go into the store is the fact that all my jeans have holes in the thighs (yes, this happens to slim chics too. I'm slim, not anorexic, my thighs DO rub together). I digress. ONE pair of jeans I've had since college, no rubbage in the thigh area... they're Levi's.

So they're affordable, high-quality, long-lasting denim, bomb customer service AND they have this new thing called Curve ID.



Slight curve - nosatal (as illustrated by the photo above)
Demi Curve - lil booty
Bold Curve - Junk in the trunk

I swear, there are plenty of options for all booty shapes and sizes. Please check them out on your next denim purchasing excursion. Ask for Beverly if you're on Michigan Ave. She was super helpful.

He Said, She Said

Ex-bootential (via text): Hey Stranger
T: Hi, who is this?

I knew EXACTLY who he was, but I think my point was made. Keep the silly in high school. If you miss me, want to know how I'm doing, feel like I should call you more, just say that. Have I ever been anything BUT frank in my correspondence. No, not at all.

Also, the "who is this" response was not original. I polled my Twitter followers and that was the best [and only] response.

And he was an ex-bootential before he sent that dumb ass text. This just FURTHER lets me know I made the correct decision to put him in the ex-bootential category.

Happy Tuesday and such.

Tea's Top 10: Reasons I Can't Play Flag Football

10. No one has ever invited me to be on their team [because...]
9. I throw like a girl
8. I run like a girl
7. When balls come flying towards me I shriek and move out of the way (Side note: you should have seen my gym class volleyball teammates as they gazed in anger as I watch the ball come near me and bounce to the ground.)
6. They practice too much. I damn near have time to do laundry or eat dinner, let alone setting aside an entire weeknight to practice.
5. They have to play when it's cold outside. If it's not 70 or above, why would I be frolicking outside. I mean, is the spa closed?
4. Apparently team members frown upon folks who drink DURING the games. I mean, it's just for fun right, why can't I drink?
3. I think people will judge me if they see that my naturally athletic frame carries no weight on the football field.
2. Some of these games happen while the Bears are playing.
1. I suffer from nosatol (i.e. No ass at all) all the women on flag football teams where spandex-y athletic pants or shorts that put their toned booties on display. I'd look like a male kicker (y'all no kickers don't have no ass)

Random & Quick

I was at work so early this morning that when I got to Chik-Fil-a it was closed. Man, that's not how you start a day right there.

Further, I decided that I'm going to start using Amy as my name at places like Chik-Fil-a when they require a name. Here's what happens otherwise:

I say, they say

Ti-ee-shah, Kisha
Ti-ee-shah, Tanesha
Ti-ee-shah, Tasha
Ti, Ki
Seven, Stephen
Seven, Devin

P.S. I thought the "name" Seven was so smart because it's a number. And how could I NOT hear them call a number. When I use other names I forget what named I used and miss my food.

And while I'm on a roll, can you all do me a favor. Can you all PLEASE just name your kids some regular stuff and spell it phonetically. You do NOT understand how demoralizing it is to be a grown ass woman who is CONSTANTLY called out of her name from everyone from the Chik-Fil-A staff to coworkers she's been on teams with for MONTHS or worked with for years.

It's really quite ridiculous.

Tea's Tangents

- How is it credit card companies have laws again usury, but Ticketmaster can charge me damn near 50% of the ticket cost and get away with it. The money we pay for convenience.

- Yesterday I left my house at 6:03 a.m. Decided against taking a cab even though the bus was going to take 12 minutes to get to me. (Note: it usually takes me less than 10 minutes to get to work, so waiting for the bus for 12 minutes is pure BS). Got to the gig at 6:38 a.m. and realized I'd forgotten my key card. I got into the office at 7:21 a.m. Definitely could have used that extra hour of sleep. I'll call this morning full of fail.

- BEYONCE IS PREGNANT. Oh, the joy on her face and in her life. I'm SO happy for her. Career's on point. Marriage is on point and now an addition to the family. YES! YES! YES!!!

- I can't friggin' believe it's September. This whole year is a blur. Please believe and end-of-the-year recap is in the making though. How else would I remember everywhere I've gone. Next up (to my knowledge) is New Orleans for the Bears game. #BEARDOWN vs. #WHODAT with the fam. I.CANNOT.WAIT!!!

- There are a couple of words that have a negative connotation and my simple behind can't figure out why. I'm not being funny, my brain really doesn't comprehend the beef with these words/concepts:

Conceit - means extremely high opinion of one's self. *Katt Williams voice* Why wouldn't you have a high opinion of your own self.

Curt - means saying a lot with fewer words - Why waste words?