Monday, September 12, 2011

Tea's Top 10: Reasons I Can't Play Flag Football

10. No one has ever invited me to be on their team [because...]
9. I throw like a girl
8. I run like a girl
7. When balls come flying towards me I shriek and move out of the way (Side note: you should have seen my gym class volleyball teammates as they gazed in anger as I watch the ball come near me and bounce to the ground.)
6. They practice too much. I damn near have time to do laundry or eat dinner, let alone setting aside an entire weeknight to practice.
5. They have to play when it's cold outside. If it's not 70 or above, why would I be frolicking outside. I mean, is the spa closed?
4. Apparently team members frown upon folks who drink DURING the games. I mean, it's just for fun right, why can't I drink?
3. I think people will judge me if they see that my naturally athletic frame carries no weight on the football field.
2. Some of these games happen while the Bears are playing.
1. I suffer from nosatol (i.e. No ass at all) all the women on flag football teams where spandex-y athletic pants or shorts that put their toned booties on display. I'd look like a male kicker (y'all no kickers don't have no ass)

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