Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
1. Buy those shoes
2. Buy shoes like those shoes
3. Buy a jacket at another store the same color of those shoes...
You see where I'm going with this once the desire is there and desire is what fuels action.
I wish that there was a debt-free store. I could go in there and see debt-free and then have the desire in my heart to get it.
Or a good credit score. I imagine good credit (well, I have good credit). I imagine better credit looks like like a shiny pair of news shoes. Just leathery and buttery and soft and fabulous. Oh how I wish I could see better credit in a mall and just fantasize about it the way I fantasize about thigh high boots.
I'll tell you what. One day I will be debt free AND have better credit AND buy any pair of thigh high boots I want. One day all of those things will work together. I'm laying the foundation, but right now I just wish...
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I'm gone be an auntie
I'm gone be an auntie
ONE MORE TIME!!!
*Dear white friends reading this. None of my siblings are actually pregnant, neither are my brothers' girlfriends expecting. In the black community children do not call their friends' parents by their first names as a sign of respect. However, I'm not about to have my homies' kids calling me Ms. [insert my last name].
Therefore when you are close to someone and they have a child, you become an unofficial aunt to that child - also called a play aunt. Therefore I have nieces and nephews all across the country that have no blood relation to my mama. Get it? Got it. Good!
Now... sing it with me now.
I'm gone be an auntie!
I'm gone be an auntie!
I'm gone be an auntie!
ONE MORE TIME!!!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
- You give YouPromise all of your credit cards numbers (scary, I know)
- You buy stuff and they give you credit for it (it seriously takes like a year to get $25 credit)
- When your credit gets to a certain amount of money ($25), then they pay it directly to your student loan
Monday, September 26, 2011
For some people, like a couple friend of mine, it's a good way to have cheap date night, but for me it just upsets me when I want a deal, but don't have any cash to buy it.
And honestly, the mani/pedi/wax/massage deals aren't all that. I'd rather pay the big bucks at a salon I know and trust than to test services on new places. I'd say 75% of the time, I'm not pleased with the service when I buy a "deal". That's a problem.
What I may do is set aside $50 to $100 a month for deals and steals, then just go to the web site to see what it is, rather than have it enticing me in my inbox every day.
So what's your philosophy on it? How do you Groupon?
Friday, September 23, 2011
Now, back to the question of the day... his parents are in town and/or I'm going with him out of town to meet the 'rents and I have no idea what we're doing/where we're going. (Or maybe his parents live here... I'm giving y'all way too much in this damn blog post.)
So... what do I wear? Go ahead and throw a weekend of fits in there. Is anyone else having as much fun dressing me as I am thinking about the possibilities?
Watch these posts have me in the mall. Womp.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Anywho, you [sort of] have my proportions from yesterday and/or you know me in real life. He wants to watch football either at a bar or at my house or at his house.
What do I wear and.... go!!!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I have no tush and minimal assets, but they fit my small frame. Think Barbie's size with Sponge Bob's proportions and a pretty face.
Ok, he wants to go to the movies. It's the fall... what do I wear and... go!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Is it just me? Like what phrases am I supposed to use to describe what's going on with someone I'm not exclusively seeing, but who I see all the time?
Help a sister with some key messages please. :-)
Friday, September 16, 2011
This stuff is awesome. Straight up and straight down. None of the jitters that you get from other energy drinks. I highly recommend it when you need a boost.
Just don't take two like I did one day. Your eyebrows will move by themselves. #Truestory.
Happy Weekend for real now. Wish me safe travels and a Bears win.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
It's tight in the thighs, legs, calves and ankles, BUT IT'S LOOSE IN THE STOMACH!
Do you understand what I'm saying. You can be fly and still breathe. I imagine this is especially nice for boxy shapes like man. My hips, back and bum are all the same body part. I tried out for Spongebob Squarepants, they said I wasn't shapely enough. Ok, I'm kidding. I love my shape, but you know a square booty when you see one.
These jeans PUT IN WORK. If you get them go down a size, maybe too depending on the wash.
Ok, I think I'm done jockin' Levi's.
Happy Weekend! (I'm going to New Orleans for the Bears game, so I'm trying to rush the weekend. LOL!)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Fast forward... light years... and here I am still confused about which jeans to buy to make my flat tush look delightful.
Well, 138 years later, Levi's still got it right. I sort of lost my damn mind in the store this weekend, but nothing I bought costs more than $80. For a girl who likes to buy Joe's jeans just because, that's not half bad.
Further, what made me go into the store is the fact that all my jeans have holes in the thighs (yes, this happens to slim chics too. I'm slim, not anorexic, my thighs DO rub together). I digress. ONE pair of jeans I've had since college, no rubbage in the thigh area... they're Levi's.
So they're affordable, high-quality, long-lasting denim, bomb customer service AND they have this new thing called Curve ID.
Slight curve - nosatal (as illustrated by the photo above)
Demi Curve - lil booty
Bold Curve - Junk in the trunk
I swear, there are plenty of options for all booty shapes and sizes. Please check them out on your next denim purchasing excursion. Ask for Beverly if you're on Michigan Ave. She was super helpful.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
T: Hi, who is this?
I knew EXACTLY who he was, but I think my point was made. Keep the silly in high school. If you miss me, want to know how I'm doing, feel like I should call you more, just say that. Have I ever been anything BUT frank in my correspondence. No, not at all.
Also, the "who is this" response was not original. I polled my Twitter followers and that was the best [and only] response.
And he was an ex-bootential before he sent that dumb ass text. This just FURTHER lets me know I made the correct decision to put him in the ex-bootential category.
Happy Tuesday and such.
Monday, September 12, 2011
10. No one has ever invited me to be on their team [because...]
9. I throw like a girl
8. I run like a girl
7. When balls come flying towards me I shriek and move out of the way (Side note: you should have seen my gym class volleyball teammates as they gazed in anger as I watch the ball come near me and bounce to the ground.)
6. They practice too much. I damn near have time to do laundry or eat dinner, let alone setting aside an entire weeknight to practice.
5. They have to play when it's cold outside. If it's not 70 or above, why would I be frolicking outside. I mean, is the spa closed?
4. Apparently team members frown upon folks who drink DURING the games. I mean, it's just for fun right, why can't I drink?
3. I think people will judge me if they see that my naturally athletic frame carries no weight on the football field.
2. Some of these games happen while the Bears are playing.
1. I suffer from nosatol (i.e. No ass at all) all the women on flag football teams where spandex-y athletic pants or shorts that put their toned booties on display. I'd look like a male kicker (y'all no kickers don't have no ass)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Further, I decided that I'm going to start using Amy as my name at places like Chik-Fil-a when they require a name. Here's what happens otherwise:
I say, they say
P.S. I thought the "name" Seven was so smart because it's a number. And how could I NOT hear them call a number. When I use other names I forget what named I used and miss my food.
And while I'm on a roll, can you all do me a favor. Can you all PLEASE just name your kids some regular stuff and spell it phonetically. You do NOT understand how demoralizing it is to be a grown ass woman who is CONSTANTLY called out of her name from everyone from the Chik-Fil-A staff to coworkers she's been on teams with for MONTHS or worked with for years.
It's really quite ridiculous.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
- Yesterday I left my house at 6:03 a.m. Decided against taking a cab even though the bus was going to take 12 minutes to get to me. (Note: it usually takes me less than 10 minutes to get to work, so waiting for the bus for 12 minutes is pure BS). Got to the gig at 6:38 a.m. and realized I'd forgotten my key card. I got into the office at 7:21 a.m. Definitely could have used that extra hour of sleep. I'll call this morning full of fail.
- BEYONCE IS PREGNANT. Oh, the joy on her face and in her life. I'm SO happy for her. Career's on point. Marriage is on point and now an addition to the family. YES! YES! YES!!!
- I can't friggin' believe it's September. This whole year is a blur. Please believe and end-of-the-year recap is in the making though. How else would I remember everywhere I've gone. Next up (to my knowledge) is New Orleans for the Bears game. #BEARDOWN vs. #WHODAT with the fam. I.CANNOT.WAIT!!!
- There are a couple of words that have a negative connotation and my simple behind can't figure out why. I'm not being funny, my brain really doesn't comprehend the beef with these words/concepts:
Conceit - means extremely high opinion of one's self. *Katt Williams voice* Why wouldn't you have a high opinion of your own self.
Curt - means saying a lot with fewer words - Why waste words?