Thursday, August 4, 2011

Sugar Daddies and Such

Do I look like I like old balls? Does single = desperate? Do I have a sign on my left hand (where a wedding ring WOULD be) that says "insert bullshit here".

This old man at a bbq I was at said... well, the convo went like this

Old man: Are you single?
T: Yes
OM: Ok, let me help you out. You can find a man at this bbq.

*Note, that he didn't ask if I was dating. If I was interested in dating. If I was gay. If I was happily single. He just decided that because I'm breathing and single that my life sucks. It doesn't. I had actually just left a date to come to the family bbq.

T: I don't know that these men are in my range
OM:
What's your range
T: 30 to 40
OM: Oh, you just need a sugar daddy
T: No thank you
OM: So you're bougie?
T: No.
OM: but these man can buy you whatever you want.
T: but I can buy myself whatever I want

*insert middle aged single broad*

MASB: GURL! Let me just help you out a bit. I see you're young and I just want to tell you like I wish someone had told me. It's not about what you can afford for yourself, it's about what you can GET from these men. You'll see. As you get older, your priorities will change.

T: O_O *thinking* but I'm not a desperate old biddy yet, so I'ma need everyone 35 and older (and unhappy) to back up off of me.

The convo ended there because I switched to Twitter and started going off about the fuckery that I was hearing. THEN this middle aged single broad's damn-near grown child walked up and it all made more sense to me. If I needed help with 8th grade graduation fees or parochial school tuition, maybe I'd be ok with saggy balls too.

Until that's my issue, I prefer my balls taut. Tell a friend.

2 comments:

chichi said...

For 3 years straight I had that happen to me ALL the time. It was so uncomfortable. I don't know what happened (maybe all the praying I did) but it stopped a couple of years ago. Or maybe I just learned how to read people and predict when they were going to that b.s line of conversation.

Spiderlgs said...

HA!.. hilarious post.. and so true.. I do wish people would at least ask the gay question.. cause it just makes it all awkward when i meet that eligible bachelor only to say.. yeah but im gay soooo tata!