Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Can I Get a Break?

Ok, married, engaged and boo-up friends, can I ask y'all for a favor? Countless non-single friends will be out with me and say, "there are a lot of single men here you should go talk to some of them." This would be fine at a bbq or get together, but out at a club or bar, it just makes me look thirsty.

These same friends have men who picked them out of millions of other women and their men think they are the best thing since sliced bread (and I love every minute of that). How did I become handicapped to the point that I'm expected to not have that same luxury (of a man picking me)?

Let's take a look at everything I've done in recent history to make myself open and available for a meaningful relationship:

10. Worked continuously on making myself a better person (gotta bring a whole person to a relationship, not a broken one)
9. Consulted Big T
8. Harassed my married friend about their husbands brothers and groomsmen
7. Read countless worthless books
6. Match.com
5. The Essence Blind Date Challenge
4. Dated ugly, fat and dumb men b/c all their other characteristics lined up (never again)
3. Reached back to men I KNOW I don't get along with hoping it was ME and not them (it wasn't me)
2. Kept in touch with known assholes thinking maybe it's the best I can do (it's not, I can do better) Side note: I also think every asshole I ever dated might have a cute friend who could work out some years down the line after folks are "over it," so I'm keeping in touch for that reason as well
1. Flirted with every attractive man I see without a ring (seriously, every single one)

I feel like when dudes don't approach me when we're out they either have girlfriends, aren't interested or have some other problem/issue that prevented them from approaching me. Also, if they don't think I'm the belle of the ball, it's probably not going to work anyway.

I love y'all. I'm just want to make a little deal with you lest you continue unknowingly hurting my feelings and constantly reminding me how single I am.

So how about, you all don't push me to be thirsty at the club, at weddings, at Home Depot, Borders, the grocery store and on the CTA and I won't ask when you're getting married, having kids, off birth control, or other uber-personal and off-putting questions. Cool? Cool!

1 comment:

South Loop Social Light said...

Of all the things you listed the best was probably trying online dating. Sounds like you want to screen a person and be pursued at the same time. Online dating does that perfectly.