Tea's Two Cents:
- If you're close to them, you tell them however you usually talk to them. Text, Facebook, phone, in person and send a gift.
- If you wanted to go to the wedding, but have a conflict, send a gift
- If you just don't want to go and there's not a "I'm not coming" check on the RSVP, then just don't respond.
Now this is just what I've done in the past, I don't know if it's right or not. Let's see what the experts say:
Experts say: Well, I couldn't find any definitive answer on this.
- Some etiquette folks believe that every invitation should be met with a yes or a no. (This is new to me, but it makes sense. I might try to get my etiquette on and start doing this.)
- Some others think that every invitation should be met with a gift, whether you attend or not (I disagree. If you're not going because you don't like these people, why would you send a gift. That's some ol' southern smile in your face, talk about you behind your back type stuff.)
- Others say that gifts aren't necessary for you to come to weddings [or showers or graduation parties] (I disagree with this wholeheartedly. If you bring your butt, bring a gift)
- And still others agree with me. If you're not going, don't respond, gifts optional. If you are going, respond positively, gifts mandatory.
I will say one thing that it seems we all agree on. If you ARE going, RSVP. Anything else is uncivilized.