Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wedding Week: Regrets

Question: How do I tell a couple I'm not coming to their wedding.
Tea's Two Cents:
  • If you're close to them, you tell them however you usually talk to them. Text, Facebook, phone, in person and send a gift.
  • If you wanted to go to the wedding, but have a conflict, send a gift
  • If you just don't want to go and there's not a "I'm not coming" check on the RSVP, then just don't respond.

Now this is just what I've done in the past, I don't know if it's right or not. Let's see what the experts say:

Experts say: Well, I couldn't find any definitive answer on this.

  • Some etiquette folks believe that every invitation should be met with a yes or a no. (This is new to me, but it makes sense. I might try to get my etiquette on and start doing this.)
  • Some others think that every invitation should be met with a gift, whether you attend or not (I disagree. If you're not going because you don't like these people, why would you send a gift. That's some ol' southern smile in your face, talk about you behind your back type stuff.)
  • Others say that gifts aren't necessary for you to come to weddings [or showers or graduation parties] (I disagree with this wholeheartedly. If you bring your butt, bring a gift)
  • And still others agree with me. If you're not going, don't respond, gifts optional. If you are going, respond positively, gifts mandatory.

I will say one thing that it seems we all agree on. If you ARE going, RSVP. Anything else is uncivilized.

1 comment:

antithesis said...

yea thats tough. people said they were coming to my sis' wedding and didnt show so she was stuck paying 75/person who didnt come. they had made meal selections and everything. ALSO, the invitation was addressed to my aunt but she wrote in my cousin's children's meal choices and crap. i thought that was rude and then they didnt come when my sis said that she just intended for her and a guest to come. mind you, this is my dad's sister and not my sister's biological aunt. she doesnt know all them children...shit, i dont know them kids.

i say indicate whether or not ur coming and only respond for the people it's addressed to. gifts/money are optional if not attending. if you coming, u best not be empty-handed