Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tea's Tangents

  • I put this on Twitter, but in case you missed it. You know how people always say R.I.P. when someone dies. That's cool and everything, but I think I'd like to live in peace. So you'll see my using L.I.P. from time to time.
  • Facebook is wack arnold's and they suck at privacy, but I am obsessed with adding new friends. It's a #realissue
  • I seriously considered purposely finding a boo in Atlanta because the flights are always so cheap there. Then I remembered how bad my gaydar is and that's like the black gay mecca, so yeah... gonna keep it local for a little while longer.
  • I get really frustrated when people don't want to communicate the way I initiated communication. At work: If I send you an e-mail and then you follow up with a call I'm pissed. If I leave you a voicemail and then you send me an e-mail, I'm pissed. Personally, if I Tweet you and you follow up with a text, I'm not pissed, but I do roll my eyes. Or if I DM you and you @ reply me out loud. #WDDDA
  • I sleep like a two-year old. Who goes to bed with 2 socks on and wakes up with just 1 on. Like for real?
  • Tropical colored panty and bra sets make me VERY happy. I could be having the worst day in life, then I remember I have on a dreamsicle drawls and then I feel better. I think that's odd, but I don't care. :-)
  • Every time I tweet something about a bad hair day, a homie suggests I go see her stylist. No diss to said homie, but I have a stylist and I only go to her about twice a year, which is why I have so many hair woes. Said homie may just be trying to be helpful, but I think that's her way of saying "your hair always looks a mess." Maybe I'm wrong, but I keep comments like that to myself or between me and my brunch buddies. LOL!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dear Target

Who went shopping this weekend? I can't even do it, but more power to y'all.

Has anyone else noticed that the handbag section is Target has decreased significantly. This is a #realissue. I honestly think that all of the city targets are getting groceries now and they cut back in a place where they didn't think consumers would notice. I noticed. So this very short and sweet letter is to Target.

Dear Target,

Please bring your super fly (and large) handbag selection back. I cannot afford would rather not spend my money on designer handbags, but I will be forced to, if you don't put a better purse selection back into your stores.

Your wallet selection is still dope.

A REGULAR Target shopper,

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

My birthday Today truly is the best day of the year. I have so much to be thankful for. I'm off enjoying my loved ones this weekend. I hope you will too!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Social Concierge

So not only am I an anthropologist and day-of wedding coordinator, you can now add social concierge to my list of awesome talents (and services).

I'm that person everyone hits up when they want to know where to go for their birthday, where to host a meeting on the north side, what's popping this weekend, what city would be best for a bachelorette party, what airline would be best for an international trip and what cupcake place in the Chi would be best for an afternoon treat.

I don't mind this title. I embrace it. I know stuff. I keep my ear to the ground to learn new stuff and I love to share. So if you ever need to plan a party, a trip, [a wedding: this'll cost ya], a dinner, a phenomenal date... hit your girl up.

I love new projects.

What are your hidden talents?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Buffalo Exchange

So consignment shopping is one of my favorite things. But even more exciting than consignment shopping is consignment selling. Antithesis will tell you I have WAY to much black. I have like 15 LBDs. That's doing the most, don't you think?

Well, now I have 12 LBDs because I sold three of them at The Buffalo Exchange this weekend. Then I came up on a couple of cheap shirts that I likely would have passed up in a retail store because

1) They were kind of out of the ordinary
2) It's no way in hell I would have paid full price for either of these shirts.

The point is, I went in with a bag 'o' clothes, spent $7 and came out with 2 shirts. Now my closet is rid of things I don't wear (or things I wear too much: damn you Facebook) AND I have new finds.

Do you consignment shop? Where are your faves?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Damnit, I'm sleep

So I was talking to Mike and somehow early morning [read: middle of the night] conversations came up. Something about people interrupting sleep to talk, etc.

I told him this would never happen to me because I turn off my phone when I'm sleep. Overnight, naps, whatever. If I'm sleep, no one should be able to contact me.

Now he takes out the big guns and says what if one of your little brothers was on his deathbed and requested to see you. Family, that hit me right in the heart. HOWSOEVER everyone who I love KNOWS that I love them. I'm not God and no visit from me will keep anyone alive. If they have a deep dark secret they want to share and I'm sleeping they can write it down and holla back. You think I'm playing, but I'm *dead* serious.

Except for the second coming of Christ (which will wake me out of my sleep anyway) there is no good reason to be woken up from good sleep.

Now I know all you mannished folks are like oh, I could think of a reason or two. Yeah, not even nookie is good enough to destroy my good sleep. Good sex should put you to sleep, not wake you up from it. Tell a friend.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Finally Into the New Testament

So read through the bible in a year is going well. We finally made it to the new Testament in October. In the old testament they were all about detail. Who begat whom and the length and size of every piece of wood and fabric that made up the church. I swear there were whole chapters that only covered 40 days and 40 nights.

Not the New Testament. In Matthew, Jesus was born and died in 28 chapters of one book. That's 33 years in one book. Talk about efficient. What really messes me up is that Mark is the SAME EXACT stories from Matthew, but told by a different person. Why would you put the same story in over and over again? What's the point? On the one hand you could say to have a more accurate look at history. On the other hand you could say someone who put the Bible together had an editing problem. #kanyeshrug

I think at some point in history, I knew that the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) were all the same story, but when you don't read the Bible regularly you forget these things. I also think churches preach out of Matthew & John more than out of Mark & Luke, so I forget about those.

I will say it is easier to read the subsequent accounts because I feel like I already know exactly what's going to happen?

Anyone else doing read through the bible in a year? Any insights to share?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hope For Hoes

Ok, I think I wrote a post, but I'm sure I Tweeted that Leviticus 21:7 says thou shalt not turn a hoe into a housewife (Don't take my word for it, look it up.)

So today [read: the day I wrote this] I was in Hosea and God instructs Hosea, son of Beeri "Go take ye a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms."

Wait. Stop. Lord, what is going on in this chapter. After God instructs him to do so, he then say "You are not my people. (Hosea 1:9)" Then later on in the book (Hosea 3:23) God says he will forgive them and they WILL be his people.

Um... maybe missing those four months of bible reading in the middle is really starting to catch up with me. Because not only have I never heard of Beeri before in the bible, I really don't understand the message here. Is God saying, he can bless even the hoes. Is this not a pass for us to participate in #hoshit because God will forgive us.

Has anyone studied Hosea? I'm going to google it, but if a bible student/scholar could let me know their interpretation of the chapter, I would really appreciate it.

I wonder how many times the word whore and whoredom is uttered in the bible. I also wonder if that word is uttered so much because the chapters of the bible that were written by women are not published. I wonder if some of these writers were just trying to cover their own infidelity by making women the bandit when in fact there were two people in the bed having unmarital or even adulterous sex. Things that make you go hmmm....

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Haggai 1:6

Thou shalt not trick off thy money. (T's Translation)

Go look it up for yourself. I'm going to keep this scripture close by when I feel the urge to buy something that I didn't budget for.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bible Reading Update

So I seriously fell off between May and the end of August on the read through the Bible in a Year challenge. I decided to just pick back up in September and it was a good choice. Now, I'm not quite sure what's going on in Ezekiel, but I'm starting Daniel from Chapter 1, so I'm hoping to have a bit more clarity as I read those chapters.

If anyone wants to send me a brief (and I do mean brief) synopsis of what happened between 1st Chronicles and Ezekiel, I'd be much obliged. Who's got me? No one... ok then, nevermind.

Also, a bit about my morning routine. Some mentors have told me that I need to take Tea time in the morning. After I wake up before I go to work, some quiet time. I usually read my bible and a meditation book if there's one near. I sometimes pray, I sometimes meditate (meditation is harder to do in the morning when you just want to go back to bed). I used to take walks, but I'm not as comfortable with my new neighborhood as my old one, so I don't think the walks would be as peaceful.

All of that to say, morning devotion is a must if I'm going to stay sane given my busy lifestyle. Nothing else matters when I'm having my quiet time.

What about you, how do you start your day? How do you make time for yourself?

Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm Spoiled!!!

Ok, so I just realized I was spoiled. Actually, this is a lie, I knew I was spoiled. What I didn't realize is that everyone else is NOT spoiled.

I was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and this millionairess from NYC had a laundry list of stuff she wanted and didn't want. The guy should

- Look like George Clooney
- Not be from Staten Island
- Have a degree
- Have sense

I mean this stuff sounded about right to me. She has standards, I didn't see anything wrong with. Later in the show it was revealed that she lacked substance and personality and THAT'S why she's single, not because she's "stuck-up" as Patti Stanger called her.

But anyone could see that she's spoiled. She knows what she wants and she gets what she wants. I don't see anything wrong with that, but appparently, people wake up every day of their lives and don't get what they want. It's beyond my comprehension. If you're not getting what you want, why not go out and get it. Or make it happen. Are these concepts just foreign for people? I don't believe in being miserable. I mean, for what? For who?

I imagine that my friends have the same type of go for what you want type of attitude which usually results in happiness, if not continued contentment. But everyone else acts like being candid and direct about what you want is some kind of sin against humanity. I just don't get it.

This post is pointless. I just wanted to share something that came across my mind.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Wedding Week: Shameless Plug

I finally found a fitting side hustle. I now do on-site wedding coordinating!!! I'm really good at it too. LOL!

I don't usually mix business (wedding coordinating) and pleasure (this here blog), but if you know someone who needs an on-site day-of coordinator, please e-mail me. I'll get my real name and contact information to you and we can discuss rates and references during a consultation.

Here's what I have to offer:

  • Six years of corporate event planning experience
  • An unmatched passion for all-things-wedding
  • A no-nonsense approach to making sure my bride is happy and carefee on her special day AND
  • Competitive rates

I'd love the opportunity to help with your wedding or the weddings of anyone you know.

Check out some picture from a wedding I coordinated in April. Aw!!! I have another wedding next weekend. I'll post those pics in a few months. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We're going to the chapel and she's gonna get ma-aa-aa-ried. (Trolley ride on the way to the church)

Can you spot a clipboard-toting wedding planner in the background? I can!!!

There I am (in the back, to the right) directing guests to the reception location. Clipboard game proper. (How gorgeous is my bride, by the way?)

I was officially "off-duty" by the time we took this picture. It was an amazing day and night!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Flying Solo

Flying solo to a wedding? NO PROBLEM. Sometimes you just don't have a date, sometimes your sigfig is otherwise occupied and some invitations call for only invited guest. (No spouse, no date, LOL!)

I've gone to weddings alone. I do a lot of stuff alone (dinner, movies, social events. I'm comfortable with me.) So here are Tea's Tips for rolling solo dolo to a wedding.

- Grill the bride before the wedding about who else will be there rolling solo, so you'll have a plan for who to hang with (and so you don't mistakenly approach one of the bridesmaid's sigfig. That would be bad)
- Find out if any of your other friends are going solo and plan to hang with them
- Be flirty with women and men at the wedding, so you can make friends at the reception
- Dance your ass off whether you find a date or not. It's a celebration, bithches!!!
- Wear an empire waist dress. You don't want to have to tell people you don't know how you can't eat because your dress is too tight. You will seem weird and lonely.
- Eat well. A full tummy is a happy tummy and the couple you love paid good money for you to do so.

Don't - Sulk, you're the only one who knows or cares that you're at the wedding by yourself
- Be on the prowl. Think friendly, not hoe-y. It's a safety issue, not a moral issue.
- Get TOO drunk. Who's going to take your solo ass home? The groomsmen are never, I repeat NEVER on antyhing at weddings. That's not what you want.
- Mean mug. You attract more bees with honey. You basically want a smile plastered on your face at all times so people will want to be around you.
- Keep making reference to how alone/single/by yourself you are. That's not hot.
- Stalk cliques. If you try to infiltrate a clique and it's not working move #ontothenextone

Who else has tips for going to a wedding alone?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wedding Week: Regrets

Question: How do I tell a couple I'm not coming to their wedding.
Tea's Two Cents:
  • If you're close to them, you tell them however you usually talk to them. Text, Facebook, phone, in person and send a gift.
  • If you wanted to go to the wedding, but have a conflict, send a gift
  • If you just don't want to go and there's not a "I'm not coming" check on the RSVP, then just don't respond.

Now this is just what I've done in the past, I don't know if it's right or not. Let's see what the experts say:

Experts say: Well, I couldn't find any definitive answer on this.

  • Some etiquette folks believe that every invitation should be met with a yes or a no. (This is new to me, but it makes sense. I might try to get my etiquette on and start doing this.)
  • Some others think that every invitation should be met with a gift, whether you attend or not (I disagree. If you're not going because you don't like these people, why would you send a gift. That's some ol' southern smile in your face, talk about you behind your back type stuff.)
  • Others say that gifts aren't necessary for you to come to weddings [or showers or graduation parties] (I disagree with this wholeheartedly. If you bring your butt, bring a gift)
  • And still others agree with me. If you're not going, don't respond, gifts optional. If you are going, respond positively, gifts mandatory.

I will say one thing that it seems we all agree on. If you ARE going, RSVP. Anything else is uncivilized.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Wedding Week: Bridesmaids Dresses

**Disclaimer: I'm a wedding snob. I just like things a certain way. I'd never diss anyone's wedding decisions in real life. That's mean. But you're reading, so I'm assuming you care about my opinion.

Here are Tea's Top 10 tips for finding the perfect bridesmaids dresses:

  • Price - Make sure the price of the dress is something that everyone in your party can afford. I'm not saying change your tastes, I'm saying if you know someone is out of work, you may not want to have them in your wedding party asking them to buy dresses that cost half their rent.
  • Shape - You absolutely have to make sure big, small, short or tall, that everyone in your wedding party looks appropriate in their dress. You can't have a dress that flatters all the flat chested women and has the well endowed looking crazy. Or have a dress that looks good on tall women, but the short women look like they have on their mother's clothes
  • Color - Most women have their colors picked out before they even go on a first date, so this doesn't even need to be a tip. But, when in doubt, go black. I've never seen a wedding with black bridesmaids dresses that wasn't classically FABULOUS. Seriously, anyone can pull off a black dress. It's awesomeness.
  • Consistency - Who's bright idea was it to let the bridesmaid's pick their own dresses in different styles and the same color. People look like they're getting ready to go to church or a play or something vs. getting ready to walk down an aisle. All bridesmaids should have the same dress and the maid and/or matron of honor should have on something slightly different. End of story and I'm not arguing with you all about this either. My mind is made up.

Exception: Little black dress bridesmaids gowns. When all bridesmaids wear their own little black dresses, this is allowed. But that's it.

  • Shoes - Unless it's a floor length gown everyone should have on the same shoes. I'm also a big fan of buying your girl's flip flops or isotoners for the reception. While it's the most important day of your life, their corns are flaring up waiting for you to walk down the aisle. Throw these girls a bone.
  • DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO - This advice trumps all my other tips. I cannot stress this point enough. If a bridesmaid is adamant about not wearing red, let her sit in the pews of the church and spectate. I'm so serious. SO many women regret decisions they made on their wedding day because they were trying to make everyone else happy (mom, grandma, best friends, bridesmaid, uncle Charlie 'nem). Don't let this happen to you
  • If you like red and your husband likes red, then do red and let the chips fall where they may. If someone breaks up a friendship over a bridesmaid dress, she wasn't in it for the long haul anyway. Consider yourself blessed to find out early instead of after you've wasted years trying to do what she wants to do.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Wedding Week: Gifts

Welcome to wedding week on the blog. Here I'll talk about wedding etiquette from the experts and of course give me opinion on all things wedding. This is a reader submitted topic from Antithesis.

Question: What's an appropriate amount to spend on a wedding gift?
Tea's Two Cents: First, if it's a "wishing well" wedding that means, the couple has all the stuff they need for their home and life together, they just want money as a gift. PLEASE don't bring a toaster when they specifically asked for money. That's rude.

I typically give $50 for a couple I don't know as well.
$75 for friends (and/or for people I don't know as well, but who have extravagant weddings).
If the couple (or one in the couples) is a really good friend, I give $100.

I also always thought you were supposed to give the cost of your plate at the wedding. I know that's antiquated thinking, but I'm just being honest. I've seen people give $25, $30 for a wedding. My bougie scoffs at that, but I mean, if you don't have it to give, you don't have it to give.

I follow the same $50, $75, $100 rule for actual gifts as I do for the wishing well wedding, but apply it to the price of the gift.

Also, I only give a gift if I get an invitation. If I'm a guest of the invited, I'm assuming that the invited has already given a gift. And I don't crash weddings, so I'm good there.

Let's see what the experts say:

Expert Answer: Forbes.com says the price of the gift should directly correlate to how close you are to the couple vs. how much the couple paid for the wedding. They also said most couples expect gifts to be no less than $50, actual gifts average about $70 each and couples WANT gifts to be about $129 each. Read the article here.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Cry It Out

Today, [read: the day I wrote this] I just want to cry. Not because I feel like I can't handle things, although I am overwhelmed. I feel like crying would be the right thing to do to have an outward expression of my inward feelings and I feel like if I do it because I feel like doing it, I'd be better off than if I did it because I couldn't handle things.

Am I making any sense. I don't want to burst out in tears in a meeting or in yoga class or walking down the street, or God forbid, on the CTA.

So I might just close my office door, cry. Say woosah, and then get back to work.

That's normal and sane, right? Antithesis, you study crazies. Am I nuts?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Mediocrity & Such

*This is an angry post. Don't quit me. I have happy, happy, joy, joy stuff coming up next week.*

I have a general problem with admins. They say I'm demanding. I prefer to say I'm thorough. Let me give you the vaguest example in life, lest I get fired.

I gave very specific directions for a project. Someone volunteered to do it. She has the OPTION of either doing it the red way or the blue way. Both ways are satisfactory, I told her prefer blue, if possible. (and yes I did say "if possible" in writing)

Admin in question does 90% of blue and drops it off at my desk while I'm not here like it's complete. Then I find out she could have done 100% of red. (Gosh, I hope this makes some kind of sense). The #realissue is that I can't turn a 90% completed project into my clients.

Now, she's gonna say she didn't have what she needed to do 100% of blue and I preferred blue so she thought she was doing me a favor. NO!

This is where common sense has left the building.

Yes, yes, perfectionism is a disease, but I have it, my colleagues have it and our clients LOVE us because we have it. Countless times I've heard clients and vendors say, oh we don't have to worry about that because T & her team took care of it/will handle it/are on it. They pay us to think about details they don't want to have to think about and 90% is not ok.

What I'm NOT going to do is send my client 90% when they are expecting 100. These admins out here trying to make me look bad.

Mediocrity cooks my grits fam. Especially in the work place. Come correct or don't come.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Housewives and Such

Here are my thoughts on the latest Real Housewives.

- I feel so bad for Riley. And it has to be hard being a single mom watching your daughter be a single mom. *tears*
- Phaedra was talking trash about Cynthia living in a gentrified neighborhood. I'm sorry is living in an expensive new home in and up and coming area a BAD thing? I can't stand her fake bougie behind.
- Are they really talking about sex so candidly on TV? We talking about sucking and swallowing and who does and who doesn't. Why does America need to know that about me... they don't.
- I love that Cynthia has a different hairstyle every scene. That's how black women are really.
- Nene got her breast taken DOWN and she's still a 34F. Really?
- I don't understand people who talk about their marriage and/or divorce on TV. Is NOTHING sacred? Wompers.

I missed the first 10 minutes too. What'd I miss?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


My motivation for working out changes daily. Here are some off-the-wall things that are helping me lately.

10. Take your gym clothes with you. I took my gym clothes to the eye doctor in the suburbs because I knew once I got back to my apartment there was no going back out. This works surprisingly well.

9. Watch #dobetter TV while you're on the machines. When I watch intervention or hoarders or someone other show where people have #realissues while I'm working out, I feel SO much better about myself. I didn't MEAN to do that, but the TV was on one of those channel and I noticed my workouts intensify.

8. Hop on the scale. I have a weight I can't go over. The closer I get to it, the harder I go at the gym. Seeing the scale go down can also be a motivator to make it want to go down further. My after-scale workouts are always better.

7. Workout close to your home. Again, it's super tough to get me out of my bed or off of my couch and it the commute is going to be long... forget about it.

6. Read a fitness magazine (or several). When I see people talking about eating hummus instead of fried chicken or climbing mountains or skiing or some other activity I know I'm never going to do it gives me motivation to at least do 30 minutes on the eliptical... at least.

5. Have cheerleaders. thummyb, antithesis and Tiff. are always in my workout corner. I can call them (or Tweet or bbm) to get motivation at any time.

4. Be someone else's cheerleader. I cheer my friends on to work out as well. If I fall off, I feel like I'm letting them down or being some sort of hyprocrite. Can't have that.

3. Focus on sex. Stop blushing. Geez, everyone's getting action, stop acting like that's a secret. Anywho, think about what that thang's gonna look like when you're backing it up. This makes me go harder at the gym. (Side note: men don't give two damns about extra weight or cellulite, this has to be about how YOU want to look when dropping it low.)

2. On that same note, trade in some of your fast-paced workout songs for GTD jams. You'd be surprised at how many extra rounds a Jamie Foxx or Trey Songs CD will make you do.

1. Go to the gym on Sunday. Working out on Sunday is like padding the week with any extra workout. It's so easy to hit three or four workouts when you start it off with Sunday.

So what's your main motivation for working out? What gets you off of the couch when you're in a rut?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Fitness Update

So a couple of months ago I let you all know that I was going to switch gyms to save about $25 a month and so that my gym would be closer to my house. Man, I couldn't even do it. My gym is sexy, free towels, TV on all the machines, free WiFi, locks attached to the lockers so you don't have to bring your own.

It's the caviar of gyms. I tried to join Bally's (no diss if you go there), but it looks like a high school weight room to me... a public high school. Even with the cost savings I just can't switch.

Now it's still warm [enough] out, so I'm making the 8 block walk to my gym, but I'm not going nearly as much as I did when it was 2 blocks away. In the month of August I only went to the gym 3 times. O_O I'm giving myself a break because work was crazy and life was crazy that month, but if my gym was closer I would go in the morning instead of leaving it to chance to go after work.

So here's my new plan. I will definitely go to the gym twice on weekends and I will go to my gym's sister gym that's slightly closer (but in the opposite direction) on Thursdays which are days you can go to any of the sister gyms.

This gives me three guaranteed workouts every week and anything above that is a bonus. I also am starting to get workout DVDs on Netflix, so I can workout at home in the mornings (it'll be snowing any day now).

Little update on this. I'm not really making it twice on weekends EVERY weekend, but I'm still doing three times a week. Also, the DVD plan is a total bust. There is no way I'm leaving my comfy bed in the morning to torture myself with exercise.

So what's your fall workout plan looking like? Do share.

P.S. I'm holding at 140: my you-can't-go-over-this-weight weight. I think that's pretty good for someone who isn't really regulating her diet choices. :) (this was true when I first wrote this post, but is a lie now. I hit 142 in October, hopefully I'll be back to 140 by the time this posts Another update, I now weigh 143. I'm destined to be fat. The end.)