Tuesday, July 6, 2010

ARGH!!!!

Do you ever feel like nothing you do is ever good enough. That's how I feel today [read:the day I wrote this]. I present presentations and documents and things that I spend a lot of time and thought on and am very proud of only to have someone tell me it needs to be done over. Now, I'm a professional. I understand that doing what's best for my clients is always the bottom line. I KNOW that no one thinks that I've done a "bad" job, but simply that I need to serve up what I'm serving better.

Somehow my feelings are still hurt. And when my feelings get hurt I shut down. (Look at me being self-aware). I'm not shutting down today [read: the day that I wrote this], but I am in this goofy "why are we here" mood.

Like seriously, I spend 10 hours every day doing this that ultimately make corporations more money. Like spinning my wheels and doubting my abilities for "the industry." Money is the bottom line. Money has always been the bottom line. Money will always be the bottom line. I never had a problem with that. I still don't think I have a problem with it now, but I need to get myself in a place where I spend 10 hours a day (or more) making Tea richer, not companies.

Because I'm over here feeling bad about and for myself, meanwhile "the industry" is still profiting. Again, nothing wrong with that, but how can "the industry" profit AND Tea not feel like shit. Sounds like a personal problem, doesn't it. It is. I'm working on it. Woo sah!

1 comment:

b.goody said...

Yeah. That sounds frustrating. I was saying the other day to someone that so many of us are trying to find our purpose/ultimate careers that will take US far. Soul searching time, right? :)