Sunday, March 21, 2010

Today I Cried

Today I cried because your situation is overwhelming. Today I cried because though I'm not tired of praying for you, I'm tired of telling you that you will make it and that God is hearing your prayers and to focus on a healthy future, when you're sitting in a hospital bed going through so much pain.

Today I cried because I've allowed myself to become emotionally involved in the wellbeing and positive outcome of an eFriend, someone I've never physically met, but whom I care about deeply.

Today I cried because when I went up for prayer at church I had to tell the prayer warrior that you are battling three cancers with no pain meds and it occurred to me that I have been praying for you week after week with minimal positive news and every week something else negative.

Today I cried because the prayer warrior who prayed with me for you today, like every other prayer warrior who prays for you thanked God for what he has already done. Thanked God in advance for seeing you through your situation, out to the other side.

Today I cried because in this post, you said it was ok to tell you how I was feeling about your disease, your affliction and today I realize I'd been holding it all in because I felt like I was being silly since I've never physically met you.

Today I cried because God is using your situation to strengthen my faith and your faith and the faith of your family and that of people who won't ever tell you so.

Today I cried because I know the awesome, awesome power of the Lord and I was overwhelmed with the task and reward that he must have for you after putting you through so much so pain.

Today I cried because I'm alive and I'm human and despite all of the things that make us physically different, you are alive and human too.

Today, I just cried.