Monday, March 8, 2010

Apologizing for Heartbreak??? #WTDTA

Ok, so I was reading Until I Get Married and Jozen is talmbout he's never heard a woman apologize for breaking his heart.

I have to give this whole concept a super sideeye. I pretty much said my peace on Twitter, but just wanted to post it here too.

Point 1: I think heartbreak is a side effect like a hangover. If you happen to be heartbroken because of something that happened between us, I'm not going to call you and say sorry you're heartbroken or sorry I broke your heart (FYI: that's two different type of apologies).

Have you ever been out for your birthday and drunk and had the hangover of a lifetime the next day. Do your friends call you and say I'm sorry you have a hangover? No, because there were two people involved. 1) your friend who bought the drink and 2) you who made the decision as an ADULT to drink the drink.

The hangover is a consequence of both of your actions (Your friend buying the drink AND you drinking the drink). No apologies necessary there.

Point 2: If I broke your heart, I'm almost certain that you won't talk to me after it. How in the hell am I supposed to know "I" broke your heart? How are you even certain that I'm the one who broke it in the first place? Maybe it was broken whene we started dealing with each other and I just didn't have what it took to mend it. Maybe anytime anyone departs from you for WHATEVER reason it results in a broken heart. How in thee hell is that something that I should apologize for?

Point 3: My boy pointed out that a negative action (infidelity comes to mind first) could be responsible for heartbreak. T is all about people apologizing for wrong actions, but apologizing for the results of those actions is not gonna happen. A broken heart is a personal problem. I can't fix it and I'm not going to apologize for it.

PLUS, if i did something ALL THE WAY WRONG is the apology going to negate the action. Is the apology going to make us get back together? Is the apology going to mend your broken heart. When dealing with me, I'd say no, no and no.

So, what y'all think?


antithesis said...

that doesnt make sense. if i didnt give a hell and did whatever i did to supposedly break ur heart, why would i give a hell enough to apologize for it? idk b/c im usually in the position of having my hear broken rather than doing the breaking and i dont want an apology. i want to no longer know u and will make arrangements for that to happen.

ThummyB said...

I think that I would apologize if I knew that I had really hurt someone. For instance...if I ended a relationship w/someone who really loved me, but didn't make me happy...I'm sure that they would be heartbroken, and I would probably apologize...b/c I would truly be sorry that it didn't work out differently. I think it's ok to apologize if you genuinely have a sense of regret...even if it could be no other way.