Friday, December 31, 2010

2010: Year in abridged review

What a year it's been! You know how I do, time to reflect on all the highlights of the year in preparation for the next. The cities I visit, addresses I reside in and bottom lines I possess may change, but God's goodness and love has been there the whole time and will continue to be and for that, I am grateful.

Let's have a look at my 2010, shall we?

- Brought in the new year at a south side basement party. Wouldn't have had it any other way. Did NYC and Dallas back-to-back (for work).

February - Hit Superbowl wknd in Miami (for work). Hit All-Star wknd in Dallas (for work), stayed for play... ah, the Rock Star Lifestyle. LOL! Splurged on restaurant week in the Chi & 2 of my best friends got new gigs. I love being surrounded by beautiful, intelligent, ambitious women.

March - Went to New York again (for work). Went on an impromptu trip to LA (for work).

April - Went back to LA (for work). Was the on-site day-of wedding coordinator for a co-worker/friend. (YAY!)

May - Sam graduated from college. Who has two thumbs and is the proudest big sister in the world? *this girl* I planned another successful girls trip, this time in Miami: to celebrate my & JP's belated bdays. Went to Orlando for my cousin's wedding a family vacation.

June - Chia's weddding in Chicago. Sam's 70's theme graduation party. Chill weekend with the Jones' in PawPaw, MI. Mo money @ the gig!

July - Family-focused-fourth of July in the Chi. NYC for work. Moved into a new apartment. Decorated said apartment. LOL!

August - Next-level KICKED it at my HS reunion. Ayanna's wedding in Homer Glen. New York (twice) for work. Las Vegas for work.

September - 5-day much-needed staycation over Labor Day weekend. LA for work.

October - My sister's mom lost her battle with cancer. May she rest in peace. And while God could have let my sister be unbearingly distraught, he instead provided us with a funeral entitled: When keeping it real goes wrong. God's got JOKES.

November - A Republican senator got elected to represent Illinois while our democratic President FROM ILLINOIS is in office (looked for Jesus in the Eastern sky). Celebrated 6 years with the gig. Went to LA for work. Did day-of coordinating for my second wedding. LOVED IT!!! Booked my 3rd wedding based off a referral from wedding number 2. (*drama voice* they love me. They really love me!)

December -Went to my first drag show for big sis's bday. Antithesis came to Chicago. YAY!!! Went to Memphis for work. Took the last week in December off work. Woot Woot!

2010 Donations

These are the organizations I've donated to in 2010. This post is not really for y'all, but more a note to self for when I do taxes.

1. Apostolic Faith Church
2. New Life Covenant Ministries
3. WY c/o 2000 Reunion Committee
4. Yele Haiti
5. American Cancer Society
6. Lupis Foundation
7. AIDS Foudation of Chicago
8. A friend's political campaign (is that tax deductible?)
9. Big Brothers Big Sisters
10. The Salvation Army (Ok, I just ran out of stuff to get to 10, but I'm not going to claim that $0.83 on my taxes. LOL!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Tea's Top 10: Off Work Edition

I have 12 days off work. WOO HOO! Now you know I can't just ever saddown somewhere, so here are the Top 10 12 things I'm going to do while I'm at home. (No talk about me needing to relax. This stuff IS relaxing and I need lists, they make me feel better. I'm too old to fight it.)

I'll cross things out after I do them.

12. Do some service. (This could be #11, but if it's not, then yeah, I gotta get a volunteer project under my belt right quick)

11. (bonus) Rally the troops of orgs I sit on the board of to have clear goals, objectives, mtg times and event schedules

10. Cook and bake. It's so much easier to be domestic when you don't have to go to work

9. Go to the gym 2 lose these five lbs I've gained since the summer and all the cooking and baking I'll be indulging in.

8. Transfer all this dang music to my iTunes.

7. Have a dumb long conversation on the phone. You know those 2, 3 hr, hold on let me put my phone on the charger conversations? yeah, 1 of those

6. Brunch (or drinks or something) with my bff.

5. Write about a month's worth of blogs

4. Figure out when I'm taking this ski trip. WHERE I'm taking this ski trip and with whom the ski trip shall be taken. :-)

3. Bring the New Year in with my fam and faves (+ @thewholehood who'll be at the Kevin Hart show. LOL!)

2. Write 2011's goals.

1. SPEND TIME WITH THE FAM!!!!!! Baby brother's home & I should probbly scoop my baby niece one of these days.

Friday, December 17, 2010


I forgot to plan blog posts for the rest of the year. If you hadn't noticed I've finally caught up from doing the 30 day posts. I'm also stupid busy, so no time to think, proof or post.

Sorry to leave you hanging, but my end of year recap will be coming up soon, followed by some money updates for the year 2010. Other than that, my lack of posts is in no way related to how much I love you all. I love you lots!!! :)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

She Got Raheem DeVaughn'd

Since we're already talking about sex, let's just keep the party going, shall we? Raheem DeVaughn has a new video out [about cheating] where it shows him getting busy with a pretty voluptuous sister all over his hotel room.

I thought it was a hot little video. I also think if I have children, they won't be using the TV OR internet without adult supervision since there's soft pr0n on Youtube now. But nevermind what I think, apparently women are going ape shit over it. Saying things like I miss I was getting it like that (Why aren't you?) and Wow, I never looked at Raheem like that before (and you shouldn't have, he's not attractive).

Folks are asking WHY he did the video (why does anyone do anything?), why women are going gaga over it (Why wouldn't they, people went crazy over the Single Ladies video and that was basic, super duper easy choreography from the '60s)

Again, because of the internet, blogs, Youtube, Twitter and Facebook we now know how everyone feels about EVERY single thing and some people are confused about the love for this video. To that, I say, get over it and who cares?

Can you imagine if social media was created when Pleasure Principle came out. Folks would have lost their minds.

Another pointless post brought to you by well... nothing.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The "P" Word

Lord knows I hate that word, but let's talk about it, shall we.

Missy came out with a song talmbout P**** don't fail me now and it was like the summer anthem of whatever summer that was. And even now when it comes on late in the club, hotel rooms keys are exchanged and bbm messages are sent. That song is a banger, no pun intended.

So Ms. Keri BABY comes out with a song dropping the P word and the F word all over the place and gyrating her woman parts all over the place and everyone is mad at her. She said something like she has the kind of good-good that'll keep a man out of the streets and folks are really going hard saying it takes more than that to keep a man. I'm pretty sure it's a 5-minute song about sex, not a dissertation on keeping your man. Again, Missy said "I gotta turn this brother out, so he don't want nobody else" and there were minimal to no complaints.

Let me also point out, Beyonce hasn't worn pants in 5 years and no one's mad at that. Missy had the don't fail me now song and no one's mad at that. Tweet had a song about pleasuring one's self (Ooops, oh my) and no one's mad at that?

Why are we so angry at Keri Hilson? I mean, if we want to be mad at her it should be for the blond hair that looks like she let KiKi from off the block do it, not because she's talking about sex and humping a bank volt.

The same way the 24-hr news cycle makes CNN talk about dumb stuff, the popularity of blogging is making us discuss things that really don't matter atall. Hence all the blogs and comments I've seen about Keri Hilson AND my blog post in response to it.

If Keri wants to be nasty out loud, I say more power to her.

Monday, December 13, 2010

An Impasse

Christmas is stressing me out. No, not the birth of Jesus, the gift-giving. I don't recall ever considering NOT getting people Christmas gifts. I usually just fork up the credit card (CC) and keep the party going.

This year, as I took a realistic look at my finances (thanks for taking this journey with me), I saved more than I ever had before and I don't mean saved like the dress was 40% off. I mean saved like put money in an account and didn't touch it. I also sacrificed good times more than ever before and paid more on my CC than ever before.

Side note: the fact that I sacrificed good times is really funny because I had SO many good times. Let that be a note to self when I have to skip something. There will be other fun stuff (unless I die).

I digress.

I won't make my goal of paying my cards down to 0-20% in 2010, but I'm crazy proud of the strides I've made and the social and financial discipline I've built up to make 2011 even better at the bank.

Logical Tea Says:
"Forget buying all these presents. Even if you spend cash, you'll be taking it away from saving. You sacrificed all year skipping bday parties and Monday Night Football just to be Santa frickin' Claus on December 25th. Plus, Christmas isn't even about gifts. It's about Jesus, the birth of the Savior of your faith. It's about praising him, celebrating his birth and celebrating that time with friends and loved ones.

While it may seem selfish to not buy gifts, you have to start being disciplined somewhere. You have to put your foot down and make a decision to do better. And if you don't do it going into 2011, when will you do it. Your family will understand. You have to put yourself first. You're going to regret not saving for yourself more than you'll regret not buying gifts for your family."

Emotional Tea Says
"You make more money this year than you ever have before. If ever there was a time to be frivolous on gifts, this is the time. You put the "t" in Santa Claus. Of course, the holiday is about Jesus, which is why we sing happy birthday to him before we open OUR gifts. You know everyone else in the family is struggling with finances, why not help make their holiday bright? Everyone is counting on YOU to come through. You ALWAYS come through. Plus, it's not like I'm asking you to use a CC, just grab some money out of your savings, no big deal.

You're going to feel like boo-boo the fool on Christmas morning if you haven't bought gifts for people. Especially, the kids. The kids don't understand "recession" and they shouldn't have to because you're extremely blessed and you should bless others. The recession skipped your door. Plus this is the season of giving, it's not about you and your CC debt. It's about others. Spend money on others. You're going to regret not buying gifts for your family more than you would not saving for yourself."

So two questions.
1. What do you think I SHOULD do?
2. What do you think I am GOING to do? (These could be different)

And final note there is a reason logical is in black and emotional is in red. It looks like my damn balance sheet.

Friday, December 10, 2010

T & A Do Chicago

Antithesis is visiting Chicago this weekend and I'm hosting. YAY!!! She's never been to the Chi, so she was like *cue Drake* Show Me a Good Time. LOL! Here's what's on the docket

Portillo's (lunch)
Speed Dating This only happens on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Womp.
Giordano's (dinner)
Mass pre-gaming at my crib (or the crib of a homie)
Steph's bday party at Wells on Wells #northside
Clubbing at The Shrine #southside
Harold's Chicken (late night)

Brunch with the boos at Feast
Sprinkles cupcakes
The Magnificent Mile
Macy's on State Street
Garrett's Popcorn on State Street
Club Target
Shedd Acquarium
Brit's Comedy Show

Ann Sathers for breakfast
Church at New Life Covenant
Bears Game at a bar somewhere (for me)
Home (maybe)
Cowboys Game at a bar somewhere (for antithesis *eyeroll*)

Sears Tower Skydeck
The Baking Lab in Ukranian Village
Zoolights at Lincoln Park Zoo

There's not enough time for all the sights of my glorious city... Especially during football season.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

You, Yes You

OMG! I just had the best idea in life. YOU, my blog readers are all going to hook me up on a date. You read this blog every day (or you know, every once in a while). You know my dating woes, you know what I'm looking for. You know single men.

YES! YES! YES! This is genius. If I don't have a man by the time this posts (UPDATE: I don't) YOU are in charge of hooking me up on a blind date. The only rule is that he has to have a job and you have to KNOW him and think that he's a good match for me.

He can be in any city, any state. Hell he could be in another country and I'll make it happen if you think it's a match. He can be any body type and any height. I'm SO serious. If you want you can even write a guest blog post about the experience. Please? Please? Please? (This is me begging, take a picture, it doesn't happen often) So... (in alphabetical order)

South Loop Social Light

What say you?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Randomness

I was consulting a friend one day. I had professional info for her and she had dating info for me. Here's some tidbits she dropped on me.

- Volunteer to meet men. That's where she met her boo. (Real talk, I really need to just join a church and get involved in ministry and stop playing, but that's another post. I just joined New Life Covenant on Sunday. YAY!)
- Take my list of standards, then cross something off of it and see if that opens up the pool. Not a non-negotiable, just a preference
- Dating sites and matchmakers and speeddating and the like are investments into my happiness (at this point I was basically screaming "preach youngin!!!")
- Your strength is what makes you you. Don't downplay that, we just have to find someone who is stronger than you
- (My favorite thing she said) I'm going to keep my eye open for you.

Anyone drop any good dating knowledge on you that was like an aha moment?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Can I Get a Break?

Ok, married, engaged and boo-up friends, can I ask y'all for a favor? Countless non-single friends will be out with me and say, "there are a lot of single men here you should go talk to some of them." This would be fine at a bbq or get together, but out at a club or bar, it just makes me look thirsty.

These same friends have men who picked them out of millions of other women and their men think they are the best thing since sliced bread (and I love every minute of that). How did I become handicapped to the point that I'm expected to not have that same luxury (of a man picking me)?

Let's take a look at everything I've done in recent history to make myself open and available for a meaningful relationship:

10. Worked continuously on making myself a better person (gotta bring a whole person to a relationship, not a broken one)
9. Consulted Big T
8. Harassed my married friend about their husbands brothers and groomsmen
7. Read countless worthless books
5. The Essence Blind Date Challenge
4. Dated ugly, fat and dumb men b/c all their other characteristics lined up (never again)
3. Reached back to men I KNOW I don't get along with hoping it was ME and not them (it wasn't me)
2. Kept in touch with known assholes thinking maybe it's the best I can do (it's not, I can do better) Side note: I also think every asshole I ever dated might have a cute friend who could work out some years down the line after folks are "over it," so I'm keeping in touch for that reason as well
1. Flirted with every attractive man I see without a ring (seriously, every single one)

I feel like when dudes don't approach me when we're out they either have girlfriends, aren't interested or have some other problem/issue that prevented them from approaching me. Also, if they don't think I'm the belle of the ball, it's probably not going to work anyway.

I love y'all. I'm just want to make a little deal with you lest you continue unknowingly hurting my feelings and constantly reminding me how single I am.

So how about, you all don't push me to be thirsty at the club, at weddings, at Home Depot, Borders, the grocery store and on the CTA and I won't ask when you're getting married, having kids, off birth control, or other uber-personal and off-putting questions. Cool? Cool!

Monday, December 6, 2010

What Does Beauty Mean To You

Someone asked me "How important is beauty to you?" I said something like "very" or "extremely" and left it at that.

It immediately occurred to me after the conversation, that I didn't speak about any of the sappy crap they teach you in school and at church and on Disney movies about how beauty comes from within.

I didn't think about people's hearts and spirits.

Nope, I was thinking about MAC make-up and long flowy hair and pointy toe pumps and frilly summer dresses. I thought about how my auntie calls me pretty girl and my uncle calls me glamour girl and I thought about how my mom flipped her lid when she found out I'd blown up to a size 6 in college.

I thought about how my grandma is SO into photos. And how the whole rest of the family will crowd around a digital camera to make sure just they look right, nevermind everyone else.

I thought about pretty body parts, calves and stomachs and pedicured toes (and y'all know I hate feet).

I thought about diamonds and Harleys and what the kids will look like. He has to be fine (and his parents should be fine too). Think about the kids.

Looking back, even though I gave an honest answer, I don't know that I gave the best answer and to that I say: Ooh wee. I have a lot of growing to do, but I'm working on it.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Call Me Program

I got this information from a brochure at the CWAP annual conference. This is for teens and young adults who have questions about sex and the like. Pass it on to a young person (or if you're a teen, this is for you.)


If you have questions about your sexual health or HIV? Get help from a young adult just like you.

About the Call Me Program
The Call Me program is committed to providing peer support that educates and empowers young adults in South Chicagoland and NW Indiana areas to acquire accurate information about sexual wellness and testing for HIV and sexually tranmitted infections. We also aim to provide peer support and accurate information about treatment option to HIV positive persons and those with sexually transmitted infections.

Services provided by Peer Advocates
One on one mentoring whether you are newly diagnosed with HIV, don't know your status, or have had HIV for a long time.

Our peer advocates will help you to understand everything that you need to know about a diagnosis of HIV including transmission, where to seek treatment, medications, and how to tell family and sexual partners about a new diagnosis.

Finally, our peer advocates will help you realize the goal of "Living Positively." Living Positively means accepting an HIV positive status, keeping us with your treatment plan, and forming relationship relationships and community with other young people who are living are HIV.

To connect with a Peer Advocate or to learn more call:


presented by
Comer Children's Hospital and the University of Chicago
Pediatric & Adolescent HIV/AIDS Care Team

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I Don't Wanna Go!!!!

Ah, the winter months. My bed is more comfortable and the descent to work is more painful. Do you procrastinate in the morning doing things that need to be done, but that could definitely happen at another time to keep the journey to work as far away as possible. I do. Here are the top 10 things I do to slow down in the morning

10. Clean (washing dishes, sorting laundry, actually making up my bed, deep cleaning the bathroom, reorganizing my closet, anything to not go to work)
9. Take an extra long time with devotion. I mess around and print off names of Congress and pray for everyone and their family individually (ok, I've never done this, but you get the point, extra long devotion)
8. Balance my checkbook
7. Deep condition my hair
6. Check flight costs for my next vacation
5. Sort through my e-mail
4. Check Facebook, Twitter and read blogs
3. Cook breakfast
2. Watch the news for an extended amount of time
1. Write blog posts

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My Hair is Finnicky

Is finnicky a word? Doesn't matter, you know what I mean. I don't think we've talked about hair in a while, but at the onset of fall my hair started to get really dry. What I hadn't realized is that I also stopped using my Burts Bees Raspberry & Brazil nut conditioner around that time because it's so hard to find in stores.

I tried larger 2-strand twists for a different, more manageable look. Then I tried other products that my friends suggeted and that I could actually find in stores. (I always forget to go to the beauty supply store when I'm in a black neighborhood. Sad.)

Here's some stuff I tried.
Motion's Leave-In Conditioner - Wack
Carol's Daugher Black Vanilla Leave-In - Extra wack (but it smells great)

Here's my no-fail routine as of late.
Deep condition with a homemade mix of eggs, melted honey and olive oil. Rinse. Comb through with Trader Joe's Nourish Spa conditioner. Rinse. Wash with Raspberry & Brazil Nut Shampoo. Rinse. Pre-condition with olive oil (to seal in moisture), do not rinse out. Condition with Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Shampoo, do not rinse out. Two strand twist hair, add Fantasia IC Gel to each twist to hold it in place.

A friend told me that the only difference between conditioner and leave-in conditioner is the concentration. So when my hair gets dry I should just leave regular conditioner in it. This has worked well for me. I also straightened my hair this weekend so I could get my ends clipped and I think this will help with dry ends.

What's your hair care regimen? What products can your hair not live without?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tea's Tangents

  • I put this on Twitter, but in case you missed it. You know how people always say R.I.P. when someone dies. That's cool and everything, but I think I'd like to live in peace. So you'll see my using L.I.P. from time to time.
  • Facebook is wack arnold's and they suck at privacy, but I am obsessed with adding new friends. It's a #realissue
  • I seriously considered purposely finding a boo in Atlanta because the flights are always so cheap there. Then I remembered how bad my gaydar is and that's like the black gay mecca, so yeah... gonna keep it local for a little while longer.
  • I get really frustrated when people don't want to communicate the way I initiated communication. At work: If I send you an e-mail and then you follow up with a call I'm pissed. If I leave you a voicemail and then you send me an e-mail, I'm pissed. Personally, if I Tweet you and you follow up with a text, I'm not pissed, but I do roll my eyes. Or if I DM you and you @ reply me out loud. #WDDDA
  • I sleep like a two-year old. Who goes to bed with 2 socks on and wakes up with just 1 on. Like for real?
  • Tropical colored panty and bra sets make me VERY happy. I could be having the worst day in life, then I remember I have on a dreamsicle drawls and then I feel better. I think that's odd, but I don't care. :-)
  • Every time I tweet something about a bad hair day, a homie suggests I go see her stylist. No diss to said homie, but I have a stylist and I only go to her about twice a year, which is why I have so many hair woes. Said homie may just be trying to be helpful, but I think that's her way of saying "your hair always looks a mess." Maybe I'm wrong, but I keep comments like that to myself or between me and my brunch buddies. LOL!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dear Target

Who went shopping this weekend? I can't even do it, but more power to y'all.

Has anyone else noticed that the handbag section is Target has decreased significantly. This is a #realissue. I honestly think that all of the city targets are getting groceries now and they cut back in a place where they didn't think consumers would notice. I noticed. So this very short and sweet letter is to Target.

Dear Target,

Please bring your super fly (and large) handbag selection back. I cannot afford would rather not spend my money on designer handbags, but I will be forced to, if you don't put a better purse selection back into your stores.

Your wallet selection is still dope.

A REGULAR Target shopper,

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

My birthday Today truly is the best day of the year. I have so much to be thankful for. I'm off enjoying my loved ones this weekend. I hope you will too!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Social Concierge

So not only am I an anthropologist and day-of wedding coordinator, you can now add social concierge to my list of awesome talents (and services).

I'm that person everyone hits up when they want to know where to go for their birthday, where to host a meeting on the north side, what's popping this weekend, what city would be best for a bachelorette party, what airline would be best for an international trip and what cupcake place in the Chi would be best for an afternoon treat.

I don't mind this title. I embrace it. I know stuff. I keep my ear to the ground to learn new stuff and I love to share. So if you ever need to plan a party, a trip, [a wedding: this'll cost ya], a dinner, a phenomenal date... hit your girl up.

I love new projects.

What are your hidden talents?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Buffalo Exchange

So consignment shopping is one of my favorite things. But even more exciting than consignment shopping is consignment selling. Antithesis will tell you I have WAY to much black. I have like 15 LBDs. That's doing the most, don't you think?

Well, now I have 12 LBDs because I sold three of them at The Buffalo Exchange this weekend. Then I came up on a couple of cheap shirts that I likely would have passed up in a retail store because

1) They were kind of out of the ordinary
2) It's no way in hell I would have paid full price for either of these shirts.

The point is, I went in with a bag 'o' clothes, spent $7 and came out with 2 shirts. Now my closet is rid of things I don't wear (or things I wear too much: damn you Facebook) AND I have new finds.

Do you consignment shop? Where are your faves?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Damnit, I'm sleep

So I was talking to Mike and somehow early morning [read: middle of the night] conversations came up. Something about people interrupting sleep to talk, etc.

I told him this would never happen to me because I turn off my phone when I'm sleep. Overnight, naps, whatever. If I'm sleep, no one should be able to contact me.

Now he takes out the big guns and says what if one of your little brothers was on his deathbed and requested to see you. Family, that hit me right in the heart. HOWSOEVER everyone who I love KNOWS that I love them. I'm not God and no visit from me will keep anyone alive. If they have a deep dark secret they want to share and I'm sleeping they can write it down and holla back. You think I'm playing, but I'm *dead* serious.

Except for the second coming of Christ (which will wake me out of my sleep anyway) there is no good reason to be woken up from good sleep.

Now I know all you mannished folks are like oh, I could think of a reason or two. Yeah, not even nookie is good enough to destroy my good sleep. Good sex should put you to sleep, not wake you up from it. Tell a friend.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Finally Into the New Testament

So read through the bible in a year is going well. We finally made it to the new Testament in October. In the old testament they were all about detail. Who begat whom and the length and size of every piece of wood and fabric that made up the church. I swear there were whole chapters that only covered 40 days and 40 nights.

Not the New Testament. In Matthew, Jesus was born and died in 28 chapters of one book. That's 33 years in one book. Talk about efficient. What really messes me up is that Mark is the SAME EXACT stories from Matthew, but told by a different person. Why would you put the same story in over and over again? What's the point? On the one hand you could say to have a more accurate look at history. On the other hand you could say someone who put the Bible together had an editing problem. #kanyeshrug

I think at some point in history, I knew that the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) were all the same story, but when you don't read the Bible regularly you forget these things. I also think churches preach out of Matthew & John more than out of Mark & Luke, so I forget about those.

I will say it is easier to read the subsequent accounts because I feel like I already know exactly what's going to happen?

Anyone else doing read through the bible in a year? Any insights to share?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hope For Hoes

Ok, I think I wrote a post, but I'm sure I Tweeted that Leviticus 21:7 says thou shalt not turn a hoe into a housewife (Don't take my word for it, look it up.)

So today [read: the day I wrote this] I was in Hosea and God instructs Hosea, son of Beeri "Go take ye a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms."

Wait. Stop. Lord, what is going on in this chapter. After God instructs him to do so, he then say "You are not my people. (Hosea 1:9)" Then later on in the book (Hosea 3:23) God says he will forgive them and they WILL be his people.

Um... maybe missing those four months of bible reading in the middle is really starting to catch up with me. Because not only have I never heard of Beeri before in the bible, I really don't understand the message here. Is God saying, he can bless even the hoes. Is this not a pass for us to participate in #hoshit because God will forgive us.

Has anyone studied Hosea? I'm going to google it, but if a bible student/scholar could let me know their interpretation of the chapter, I would really appreciate it.

I wonder how many times the word whore and whoredom is uttered in the bible. I also wonder if that word is uttered so much because the chapters of the bible that were written by women are not published. I wonder if some of these writers were just trying to cover their own infidelity by making women the bandit when in fact there were two people in the bed having unmarital or even adulterous sex. Things that make you go hmmm....

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Haggai 1:6

Thou shalt not trick off thy money. (T's Translation)

Go look it up for yourself. I'm going to keep this scripture close by when I feel the urge to buy something that I didn't budget for.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bible Reading Update

So I seriously fell off between May and the end of August on the read through the Bible in a Year challenge. I decided to just pick back up in September and it was a good choice. Now, I'm not quite sure what's going on in Ezekiel, but I'm starting Daniel from Chapter 1, so I'm hoping to have a bit more clarity as I read those chapters.

If anyone wants to send me a brief (and I do mean brief) synopsis of what happened between 1st Chronicles and Ezekiel, I'd be much obliged. Who's got me? No one... ok then, nevermind.

Also, a bit about my morning routine. Some mentors have told me that I need to take Tea time in the morning. After I wake up before I go to work, some quiet time. I usually read my bible and a meditation book if there's one near. I sometimes pray, I sometimes meditate (meditation is harder to do in the morning when you just want to go back to bed). I used to take walks, but I'm not as comfortable with my new neighborhood as my old one, so I don't think the walks would be as peaceful.

All of that to say, morning devotion is a must if I'm going to stay sane given my busy lifestyle. Nothing else matters when I'm having my quiet time.

What about you, how do you start your day? How do you make time for yourself?

Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm Spoiled!!!

Ok, so I just realized I was spoiled. Actually, this is a lie, I knew I was spoiled. What I didn't realize is that everyone else is NOT spoiled.

I was watching Millionaire Matchmaker and this millionairess from NYC had a laundry list of stuff she wanted and didn't want. The guy should

- Look like George Clooney
- Not be from Staten Island
- Have a degree
- Have sense

I mean this stuff sounded about right to me. She has standards, I didn't see anything wrong with. Later in the show it was revealed that she lacked substance and personality and THAT'S why she's single, not because she's "stuck-up" as Patti Stanger called her.

But anyone could see that she's spoiled. She knows what she wants and she gets what she wants. I don't see anything wrong with that, but appparently, people wake up every day of their lives and don't get what they want. It's beyond my comprehension. If you're not getting what you want, why not go out and get it. Or make it happen. Are these concepts just foreign for people? I don't believe in being miserable. I mean, for what? For who?

I imagine that my friends have the same type of go for what you want type of attitude which usually results in happiness, if not continued contentment. But everyone else acts like being candid and direct about what you want is some kind of sin against humanity. I just don't get it.

This post is pointless. I just wanted to share something that came across my mind.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Wedding Week: Shameless Plug

I finally found a fitting side hustle. I now do on-site wedding coordinating!!! I'm really good at it too. LOL!

I don't usually mix business (wedding coordinating) and pleasure (this here blog), but if you know someone who needs an on-site day-of coordinator, please e-mail me. I'll get my real name and contact information to you and we can discuss rates and references during a consultation.

Here's what I have to offer:

  • Six years of corporate event planning experience
  • An unmatched passion for all-things-wedding
  • A no-nonsense approach to making sure my bride is happy and carefee on her special day AND
  • Competitive rates

I'd love the opportunity to help with your wedding or the weddings of anyone you know.

Check out some picture from a wedding I coordinated in April. Aw!!! I have another wedding next weekend. I'll post those pics in a few months. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We're going to the chapel and she's gonna get ma-aa-aa-ried. (Trolley ride on the way to the church)

Can you spot a clipboard-toting wedding planner in the background? I can!!!

There I am (in the back, to the right) directing guests to the reception location. Clipboard game proper. (How gorgeous is my bride, by the way?)

I was officially "off-duty" by the time we took this picture. It was an amazing day and night!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Flying Solo

Flying solo to a wedding? NO PROBLEM. Sometimes you just don't have a date, sometimes your sigfig is otherwise occupied and some invitations call for only invited guest. (No spouse, no date, LOL!)

I've gone to weddings alone. I do a lot of stuff alone (dinner, movies, social events. I'm comfortable with me.) So here are Tea's Tips for rolling solo dolo to a wedding.

- Grill the bride before the wedding about who else will be there rolling solo, so you'll have a plan for who to hang with (and so you don't mistakenly approach one of the bridesmaid's sigfig. That would be bad)
- Find out if any of your other friends are going solo and plan to hang with them
- Be flirty with women and men at the wedding, so you can make friends at the reception
- Dance your ass off whether you find a date or not. It's a celebration, bithches!!!
- Wear an empire waist dress. You don't want to have to tell people you don't know how you can't eat because your dress is too tight. You will seem weird and lonely.
- Eat well. A full tummy is a happy tummy and the couple you love paid good money for you to do so.

Don't - Sulk, you're the only one who knows or cares that you're at the wedding by yourself
- Be on the prowl. Think friendly, not hoe-y. It's a safety issue, not a moral issue.
- Get TOO drunk. Who's going to take your solo ass home? The groomsmen are never, I repeat NEVER on antyhing at weddings. That's not what you want.
- Mean mug. You attract more bees with honey. You basically want a smile plastered on your face at all times so people will want to be around you.
- Keep making reference to how alone/single/by yourself you are. That's not hot.
- Stalk cliques. If you try to infiltrate a clique and it's not working move #ontothenextone

Who else has tips for going to a wedding alone?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wedding Week: Regrets

Question: How do I tell a couple I'm not coming to their wedding.
Tea's Two Cents:
  • If you're close to them, you tell them however you usually talk to them. Text, Facebook, phone, in person and send a gift.
  • If you wanted to go to the wedding, but have a conflict, send a gift
  • If you just don't want to go and there's not a "I'm not coming" check on the RSVP, then just don't respond.

Now this is just what I've done in the past, I don't know if it's right or not. Let's see what the experts say:

Experts say: Well, I couldn't find any definitive answer on this.

  • Some etiquette folks believe that every invitation should be met with a yes or a no. (This is new to me, but it makes sense. I might try to get my etiquette on and start doing this.)
  • Some others think that every invitation should be met with a gift, whether you attend or not (I disagree. If you're not going because you don't like these people, why would you send a gift. That's some ol' southern smile in your face, talk about you behind your back type stuff.)
  • Others say that gifts aren't necessary for you to come to weddings [or showers or graduation parties] (I disagree with this wholeheartedly. If you bring your butt, bring a gift)
  • And still others agree with me. If you're not going, don't respond, gifts optional. If you are going, respond positively, gifts mandatory.

I will say one thing that it seems we all agree on. If you ARE going, RSVP. Anything else is uncivilized.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Wedding Week: Bridesmaids Dresses

**Disclaimer: I'm a wedding snob. I just like things a certain way. I'd never diss anyone's wedding decisions in real life. That's mean. But you're reading, so I'm assuming you care about my opinion.

Here are Tea's Top 10 tips for finding the perfect bridesmaids dresses:

  • Price - Make sure the price of the dress is something that everyone in your party can afford. I'm not saying change your tastes, I'm saying if you know someone is out of work, you may not want to have them in your wedding party asking them to buy dresses that cost half their rent.
  • Shape - You absolutely have to make sure big, small, short or tall, that everyone in your wedding party looks appropriate in their dress. You can't have a dress that flatters all the flat chested women and has the well endowed looking crazy. Or have a dress that looks good on tall women, but the short women look like they have on their mother's clothes
  • Color - Most women have their colors picked out before they even go on a first date, so this doesn't even need to be a tip. But, when in doubt, go black. I've never seen a wedding with black bridesmaids dresses that wasn't classically FABULOUS. Seriously, anyone can pull off a black dress. It's awesomeness.
  • Consistency - Who's bright idea was it to let the bridesmaid's pick their own dresses in different styles and the same color. People look like they're getting ready to go to church or a play or something vs. getting ready to walk down an aisle. All bridesmaids should have the same dress and the maid and/or matron of honor should have on something slightly different. End of story and I'm not arguing with you all about this either. My mind is made up.

Exception: Little black dress bridesmaids gowns. When all bridesmaids wear their own little black dresses, this is allowed. But that's it.

  • Shoes - Unless it's a floor length gown everyone should have on the same shoes. I'm also a big fan of buying your girl's flip flops or isotoners for the reception. While it's the most important day of your life, their corns are flaring up waiting for you to walk down the aisle. Throw these girls a bone.
  • DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO - This advice trumps all my other tips. I cannot stress this point enough. If a bridesmaid is adamant about not wearing red, let her sit in the pews of the church and spectate. I'm so serious. SO many women regret decisions they made on their wedding day because they were trying to make everyone else happy (mom, grandma, best friends, bridesmaid, uncle Charlie 'nem). Don't let this happen to you
  • If you like red and your husband likes red, then do red and let the chips fall where they may. If someone breaks up a friendship over a bridesmaid dress, she wasn't in it for the long haul anyway. Consider yourself blessed to find out early instead of after you've wasted years trying to do what she wants to do.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Wedding Week: Gifts

Welcome to wedding week on the blog. Here I'll talk about wedding etiquette from the experts and of course give me opinion on all things wedding. This is a reader submitted topic from Antithesis.

Question: What's an appropriate amount to spend on a wedding gift?
Tea's Two Cents: First, if it's a "wishing well" wedding that means, the couple has all the stuff they need for their home and life together, they just want money as a gift. PLEASE don't bring a toaster when they specifically asked for money. That's rude.

I typically give $50 for a couple I don't know as well.
$75 for friends (and/or for people I don't know as well, but who have extravagant weddings).
If the couple (or one in the couples) is a really good friend, I give $100.

I also always thought you were supposed to give the cost of your plate at the wedding. I know that's antiquated thinking, but I'm just being honest. I've seen people give $25, $30 for a wedding. My bougie scoffs at that, but I mean, if you don't have it to give, you don't have it to give.

I follow the same $50, $75, $100 rule for actual gifts as I do for the wishing well wedding, but apply it to the price of the gift.

Also, I only give a gift if I get an invitation. If I'm a guest of the invited, I'm assuming that the invited has already given a gift. And I don't crash weddings, so I'm good there.

Let's see what the experts say:

Expert Answer: says the price of the gift should directly correlate to how close you are to the couple vs. how much the couple paid for the wedding. They also said most couples expect gifts to be no less than $50, actual gifts average about $70 each and couples WANT gifts to be about $129 each. Read the article here.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Cry It Out

Today, [read: the day I wrote this] I just want to cry. Not because I feel like I can't handle things, although I am overwhelmed. I feel like crying would be the right thing to do to have an outward expression of my inward feelings and I feel like if I do it because I feel like doing it, I'd be better off than if I did it because I couldn't handle things.

Am I making any sense. I don't want to burst out in tears in a meeting or in yoga class or walking down the street, or God forbid, on the CTA.

So I might just close my office door, cry. Say woosah, and then get back to work.

That's normal and sane, right? Antithesis, you study crazies. Am I nuts?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Mediocrity & Such

*This is an angry post. Don't quit me. I have happy, happy, joy, joy stuff coming up next week.*

I have a general problem with admins. They say I'm demanding. I prefer to say I'm thorough. Let me give you the vaguest example in life, lest I get fired.

I gave very specific directions for a project. Someone volunteered to do it. She has the OPTION of either doing it the red way or the blue way. Both ways are satisfactory, I told her prefer blue, if possible. (and yes I did say "if possible" in writing)

Admin in question does 90% of blue and drops it off at my desk while I'm not here like it's complete. Then I find out she could have done 100% of red. (Gosh, I hope this makes some kind of sense). The #realissue is that I can't turn a 90% completed project into my clients.

Now, she's gonna say she didn't have what she needed to do 100% of blue and I preferred blue so she thought she was doing me a favor. NO!

This is where common sense has left the building.

Yes, yes, perfectionism is a disease, but I have it, my colleagues have it and our clients LOVE us because we have it. Countless times I've heard clients and vendors say, oh we don't have to worry about that because T & her team took care of it/will handle it/are on it. They pay us to think about details they don't want to have to think about and 90% is not ok.

What I'm NOT going to do is send my client 90% when they are expecting 100. These admins out here trying to make me look bad.

Mediocrity cooks my grits fam. Especially in the work place. Come correct or don't come.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Housewives and Such

Here are my thoughts on the latest Real Housewives.

- I feel so bad for Riley. And it has to be hard being a single mom watching your daughter be a single mom. *tears*
- Phaedra was talking trash about Cynthia living in a gentrified neighborhood. I'm sorry is living in an expensive new home in and up and coming area a BAD thing? I can't stand her fake bougie behind.
- Are they really talking about sex so candidly on TV? We talking about sucking and swallowing and who does and who doesn't. Why does America need to know that about me... they don't.
- I love that Cynthia has a different hairstyle every scene. That's how black women are really.
- Nene got her breast taken DOWN and she's still a 34F. Really?
- I don't understand people who talk about their marriage and/or divorce on TV. Is NOTHING sacred? Wompers.

I missed the first 10 minutes too. What'd I miss?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


My motivation for working out changes daily. Here are some off-the-wall things that are helping me lately.

10. Take your gym clothes with you. I took my gym clothes to the eye doctor in the suburbs because I knew once I got back to my apartment there was no going back out. This works surprisingly well.

9. Watch #dobetter TV while you're on the machines. When I watch intervention or hoarders or someone other show where people have #realissues while I'm working out, I feel SO much better about myself. I didn't MEAN to do that, but the TV was on one of those channel and I noticed my workouts intensify.

8. Hop on the scale. I have a weight I can't go over. The closer I get to it, the harder I go at the gym. Seeing the scale go down can also be a motivator to make it want to go down further. My after-scale workouts are always better.

7. Workout close to your home. Again, it's super tough to get me out of my bed or off of my couch and it the commute is going to be long... forget about it.

6. Read a fitness magazine (or several). When I see people talking about eating hummus instead of fried chicken or climbing mountains or skiing or some other activity I know I'm never going to do it gives me motivation to at least do 30 minutes on the eliptical... at least.

5. Have cheerleaders. thummyb, antithesis and Tiff. are always in my workout corner. I can call them (or Tweet or bbm) to get motivation at any time.

4. Be someone else's cheerleader. I cheer my friends on to work out as well. If I fall off, I feel like I'm letting them down or being some sort of hyprocrite. Can't have that.

3. Focus on sex. Stop blushing. Geez, everyone's getting action, stop acting like that's a secret. Anywho, think about what that thang's gonna look like when you're backing it up. This makes me go harder at the gym. (Side note: men don't give two damns about extra weight or cellulite, this has to be about how YOU want to look when dropping it low.)

2. On that same note, trade in some of your fast-paced workout songs for GTD jams. You'd be surprised at how many extra rounds a Jamie Foxx or Trey Songs CD will make you do.

1. Go to the gym on Sunday. Working out on Sunday is like padding the week with any extra workout. It's so easy to hit three or four workouts when you start it off with Sunday.

So what's your main motivation for working out? What gets you off of the couch when you're in a rut?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Fitness Update

So a couple of months ago I let you all know that I was going to switch gyms to save about $25 a month and so that my gym would be closer to my house. Man, I couldn't even do it. My gym is sexy, free towels, TV on all the machines, free WiFi, locks attached to the lockers so you don't have to bring your own.

It's the caviar of gyms. I tried to join Bally's (no diss if you go there), but it looks like a high school weight room to me... a public high school. Even with the cost savings I just can't switch.

Now it's still warm [enough] out, so I'm making the 8 block walk to my gym, but I'm not going nearly as much as I did when it was 2 blocks away. In the month of August I only went to the gym 3 times. O_O I'm giving myself a break because work was crazy and life was crazy that month, but if my gym was closer I would go in the morning instead of leaving it to chance to go after work.

So here's my new plan. I will definitely go to the gym twice on weekends and I will go to my gym's sister gym that's slightly closer (but in the opposite direction) on Thursdays which are days you can go to any of the sister gyms.

This gives me three guaranteed workouts every week and anything above that is a bonus. I also am starting to get workout DVDs on Netflix, so I can workout at home in the mornings (it'll be snowing any day now).

Little update on this. I'm not really making it twice on weekends EVERY weekend, but I'm still doing three times a week. Also, the DVD plan is a total bust. There is no way I'm leaving my comfy bed in the morning to torture myself with exercise.

So what's your fall workout plan looking like? Do share.

P.S. I'm holding at 140: my you-can't-go-over-this-weight weight. I think that's pretty good for someone who isn't really regulating her diet choices. :) (this was true when I first wrote this post, but is a lie now. I hit 142 in October, hopefully I'll be back to 140 by the time this posts Another update, I now weigh 143. I'm destined to be fat. The end.)

Friday, October 29, 2010

at first... and then... but...

At First
So far, so VERY good. He makes me smile and my heart skips a beat when his number shows up on my phone. I am so absolutely comfortable with him. It's like we were friends in a past life or something. I love the beginnings. I wouldn't give up these feelings for anything. I hope the feeling stays... I hope he stays and if it doesn't and he doesn't, at least I had the opportunity to experience it and to experience him.

**insert big fat cheesy cake face here**
*awaits texts messages, bbms and facebook notes talking about "who is dude"*

And then:
OMG! So as soon as I tell people that I like a guy they are quick to run me down the aisle with said fella. You guys have GOT to stop doing this to me. It's bad enough that when I meet someone I like I want to skip all the work of a relationship and fast forward to happy. (#realissues)

Here are the top 10 things I've heard about new boo from various sources:

10. No, but really, when are you going to set the date?
9. That's because he IS your boyfriend.
8. Aw... you're definitely in a relationship with all these ups and downs OR
7. I'm glad to hear you're in a relationship
6. Tea probably can't make it, you know she has a boo now.
5. He did what? OMG! He really likes you.
4. I like him for you.
3. So when are you guys taking a road trip to a football game?
2. So when am I going to meet your boyfriend?
1. Tea, are you giggling? *tea giggles* *flava flav voice* WOW. I've never heard a man make you giggle before.

You guys, OMG! Stop it. *grins from ear to ear* the bottom could still fall out. We are not yet in a relationship. He is not my boyfriend yet. Stop getting me excited. I cannot put all of my eggs in his [phenomenal] basket this early lest my heart get broken into tiny irreparable pieces (which is the #realissue).

Ok, who am I kidding. I love every nail-biting second of the soap opera that is my love life. #facepalm #iMaCake

Per usual he didn't last longer than a good pedicure. Back to the drawing board... [per antithesis, who I agree with wholeheartedly] and that's OK.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ah... the seasons

Never before has this much attention been giving to cuffing season. You know, the fall, after your summer fling has fizzled out and before it's too cold to go out and meet anyone new.

But thanks to Twitter, the season is on full BLAST. So here's Tea's top 10 ways to call cuffing season (as seen on Twitter and in my bbm messages)

10. How-the-fuck-did-he-find-my-information season
9. Don't-you-still-have-a-girlfriend season
8. I-would-have-went-if-Facebook-didn't-rat-you-out [Also known as #Kanyeshrug and/of #LogoffOfLife] season
7. This-must-be-some-kind-of-a-joke season
6. Maybe-he-forgot-how-bogusly-we-broke-up season
5. Fall/Autumn/Football Season
4. Choosing season
3. Cuddle season
2. Track-back season
1. Reach-back season

Did I miss any? How else have you heard cuffing season labeled?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I Need a Key Message: Friends First

We all know that friends are better lovers. (The breakups are worst too, but that's neither here nor there). The point is you want to be friends with your significant other, because there's nothing worst than sleeping with someone nightly who you don't really give two damns about (or so I've heard).

So you meet a person, you're attracted to said person, you want to be "friends first," to ensure the success of what may bloom to be a successful romantic relationship, but you don't want to get stuck in the "friend zone" either. Tricky. Tricky.

So to my intelligent, accomplished, eloquent readers, today's question of the day is: How do you communicate the following to a person without sounding bat shit crazy "I'd like to be 'friends first' but I have no intention of being in the 'friend zone.'"

Follow up QOTD include: Has anyone ever heard anyone say this and did it go over well?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

You Never Noticed Me

So once upon a time, I met a guy who wasn't from the Chi, but had lived here for a while, but I'd never met him. I'd never seen him. And we both like to party and we're black (FYI, all black people know each other... I'm kidding, sort of), so it just baffled me that this connection was never made.

I was talking to him trying to figure it out and he hit me with the "You probably just never noticed me."

Um... WHOA!

First of all, I felt like crap, because that is absolutely true. He's not flashy. And I rarely notice things that don't stand out.

So there are two ways to look at this "chance" meeting.

1. The Twitter this-is-why-you're-single-rhetoric: T, you've been going after the wrong guys. You're so wrong, you're so superficial, you want the star player, the guy everyone thinks is fine. You need to relax your standards. You need to have paid closer attention. Your attitude is going to make you miss your man. You're too old to be single. You must not know how to iron shirts or give head and you should give it to men who look like Flava Flav because you are somehow flawed since you're not married with a heap of children by now.

2. The ACTUAL reason: T, you didn't see him because you weren't ready to experience him until the exact time you met him. And either God made you blind to him or just kept you all on opposite ends of the city, but there's no use in thinking about it because now you know him. The end.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Oh, so that's how you feel?

I was talking to a homie the other day. She broke up with a dude 7... 8 years ago and he still calls. Since the breakup she has not answered his call ATALL. But every once in a while, she'll get a call from him. She's frustrated by it. I think it's funny. I'm like "ew, dude is extra thirsty" or "wow, he really doesn't get it, huh"

Howsoever, there is a guy who I uber-liked and it just didn't work out. Every now and again I give him a call. He never answers. In my mind it never occurred to me that he could be having this same rhetoric with a homie. "Man, she won't stop calling me. I never answer her calls. I don't know what her problem is."

And that scares me, because I'm not desperate and I can take a hint, but I really think he's a cool dude and I wouldn't mind just "knowing" him. You know, like if I'm in your city we'll go get drinks, but we'll never be buddies for real. That type of thing.

Am I nuts? Should I vow to never call or text or e-mail him ever again? Do you have someone like this that you never answer the phone for? I'm just interested in getting different perspectives from my own.

In my head, I feel like one day, he'll pick up the phone. We'll have the best conversation in life and then we won't talk for another couple of years. In real life, he probably thinks I'm a quarterly stalker. What do you all think?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Welcome to Q4!!!!

So here's what I learned in Q3.

1. Making more money is great! It feels good to save AND spend money on nice things without feeling like I'm sacrificing one for the other.

2. A secondary income is so helpful and lately money has just been falling into my lap.

3. Being accountable helps me stick to the plan. I could have tricked off all my money in Q3, it was summer and all. But because I've set very specific goals and have so many people pulling for me (via this blog) to reach my goals, I feel a greater responsibility to do what I said I was going to do and not be woo-ed by bottle service, sexy handbags, trips on planes and other such trickoffery.

4. I can be self-indulgent. While I allowed myself to not be woo-ed by big ticket items, I tricked off a good deal of what I was supposed to be saving on small treats. I have a hard time sacrificing things are are related to beauty and I don't know any other way to be. I need help. Who knows a book I could read to help me get over my obsession with spending money on pretty things? Anyone? Anyone?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Q3 Update: September

In September I skipped

2. A fabulous Labor Day trip to NYC with the boos. I had the money to spend, but I decided to save it instead. There will be other fabulous trips. I'm so proud of me for this decision.

Unexpected expenditures were

d. Little brother's graduation gift. In June or maybe even July I promised Sam a suit for graduation to help him with his job interviews. Since then, he'd said that he didn't really want that, so instead of tucking the money I'd budgeted for that away, I spent it. (Can I blame it on the summer? No? Ok, then.) So anyway, when he called and wanted his gift, I dipped RIGHT into my savings to hook him up. What can I say, that's my baby.
e. A Bears hoodie
f. Everything in yesterday's post

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Help! I May Be Self-Indulgent!!!

Today is... well it doesn't matter what today is, but let me tell you what I've dipped into my savings to cover over the last week.

Focusing on me
- A dress for a date
- A manicure
- Eyebrow threading

Focusing on relationships
- Happy hour (with a coworker who quit)
- A gift for my niece's bday (I'd actually budgeted for this, but used that money on some other good or service when I found out I wouldn't see her ON her bday)
- Mary J. Blige tickets (because my sister needed someone to go with)
- Monday Night Football (with the homies)

What is my problem? I never, I mean never, fault myself for spending money when it comes to maintaining relationships. What else are we going to do besides eat or drink (or give gifts to the kids). I'm sure we could go to a free musuem or something, but I'm an American. I like to eat and I like to indulge. There's no getting over that.

I think where I could save some money is the "focus on me" stuff. I mean, plenty of people do their own nails. I could do that right? (Gags behind the computer). I can't pluck my own brows though, but I have found a woman that's $8 instead of the usual $15 I spend.

And the date dress piece. Nothing in my closet was working. We had a specific thing to go to and I needed to look a certain amount of put together and a certain amount of chill and after doing laundry, nothing in my closet fit the bill. Yes, I paid full price for the dress, but... he loved it, so whatever.

People, THIS is exactly why I can't keep money in the bank long enough to pay my credit cards down. I can talk myself INTO a purchase before I can talk myself out of a purchase.

I'm thinking about not letting myself move again until 100% of my CC debt is paid. I'm still working towards the goal of getting CCs to 20-30% of my available balances. It's going to be more like 40-50% at the end of 2010 though :-/. I think my desire to get out of frat town and back to the quiet of Lakeview might keep me out of the malls and nail shops long enough to do what I said I was going to do.

So... have at it. Analyze me. Tell me how bad I am. Send me tips, tools, suggestions. Pray for me too. I need clearly [spending] help.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Q3 Update: August

In August I skipped:

Well, I didn't really have to skip anything.

My unexpected expenditures were:
c. Everything I bought for my apartment. What's wild is that before I made the decision to move I wrote in this post how I knew I'd buy new furniture. But when I actually started looking for a new apartment I convinced myself that I wouldn't purchase (or need) anything new. I was right at first and wrong the second time around.

I don't feel any kind of buyer's remorse because even though this is my third apartment I never decorated. I've just always had mismatched stuff. (Isn't that sad.) Now that I have the means, it's just natural to spend money to love where I live instead of just tolerating it. Even with all those trips to Ikea, Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond, I still was able to keep money in my savings account. YAY!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Q3 Update: July

In July I skipped:
1. Getting custom closets that cost more than my rent. Oh, how I wanted them, but I have to remember 2010's goal is to pay down debt. Not to have sexy closets. I blame Carrie Bradshaw. Focus T... Focus!

Unexpected Expenditures were:
a. My move costing 2.5x what I budgeted for it. Damn broken elevators and ratchet ass moving company. Whatever.
b. 4th of July spending. I was paying full price at the door, buying drinks for my girls, pretty much losing my damn mind.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Big Womp

Ok, so the Essence Summer Dating Challenged FAILED. No one gave up, but my nearest and dearest are at an impasse because I have standards, they have standards and dating often is not as easy as I make it look. *Jay-Z voice* I make this look too easy.

Mom - "I'm going to give myself until the end of the fall to find you a date due to natural disaster. (The floods in the 'burbs)

@thummyb - "I honestly just don't know who to hook you up with. Maybe you should just start coming out with me and my boyfriend. We see eligible guys all the time, but they're not the type of guys that would go on a blind date."

Coworker - "I'm so glad you just came into to tell me about *insert new bootential name* because I have no updates for you."

So my people didn't give up. They put their best foot forward... it just didn't happen. Still thanks to Essence for giving me a solid week of posts on the misfits. I also added spice to the lives of my friends and family (you know this ish is funny).

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Not That Week

I interrupt the Essence dating posts to tell you all about a week I had.

So the week I wrote this was the sort of week anthropologists like myself dream about. I had several opportunities to study male communication patterns. Yep, that week I was contacted by no less than four ex-boos and countless new bootential IN THE SAME WEEK. It was actually over the course of two or three serious days. *insert perplexed face*

An undisclosed number of them have somewhat of a hold on me, the other undisclosed number of them can kick rocks for multiple reasons.

I've been entertaining the foolishness of an undisclosed number of them from both categories for the stories (#fact the stories that DON'T make it to Tea & Such are actually the best ones. Gotta leave some things to the imagination on the blog.)

And as far important (but no-good-on-their-own) traits/characteristics/qualifications like good looks, money and presence are concerned, I've certainly put together a championship roster. *begin sarcasm font* If I could just let the need for emotional stability and availability go, I would be able to pick a star player and eliminate the bench.

But... not so much.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mom's Misfits

So I had all these great misfits to write about from my bff and my coworker, but none from my mom until I asked her. According to her, she can't relax her standards because she's mom and she doesn't want to be the one that hooks me up with a "jerk."

Mom also has her own set of criteria, none of which she ran past me before she got started. According to mom, he has to be tall & handsome, romantic, Christian or some form or spiritual (this was a little bit of a shock, I thought for sure she would have said he had to be Christian. You think you know your parents.)

He has to have good parents & I quote "he needs to come from good stock." I see mom's trying to make me into a baby-making machine over here and her emphasis on pretty has not changed since I was a child.

I can dig it though. Here are all the guys that didn't make it from my mom.

1. Her coworker's son - When mommy brags about me, a coworker always chimes in about HER son and hints that we should date. My lovely mother said she doesn't want that woman in her family. Mom is officially cock-blocking, but ol' girl's son doesn't look like Idris, so I'm over it.

2. Her husband's nephews - My mom goes "no blood connection, no problem." She's funny. Anywho, she decided against them because a) they don't live in Chicago and b) even though she doesn't think it's weird, she doesn't want her in-laws to think that I have a hard time getting a date and c) if it didn't work out mom would have a harder time at the family reunions.

3. Her girls' connects - My mom has a group of girls who she's been cool with for about 40 years. Mom sent an e-mail to the group about this dating challenge. 5 women total. 2 just didn't respond. 2 said "T is intimidating, good luck with that."

(Side note: I'm not making this up, I didn't pick the word intimidating either. I know how touched menfolk get when black women use that word to describe ourselves. This is the word mature black women used to describe me and I rebuked it right then and there, but they didn't care though. Whatever).

Back to the stats: 1 of her 5 friend (the last woman standing) starts sending my mom names like *insert fine celebrity name here* and a whole 'nother list of Chicagoans that mom had to Google. She made me Google them because she was busy.

a) Bachelor number one was a few years younger than my mom. HELL NO!
b) Bachelor number two was a chunky white guy. I'm all about the swirl, but I need more Jude Law, less George from Seinfeld
c) *insert fine celebrity name here* Um... mom and friends, you cannot just sift through the TV channels, see a fine man and then say "I think he would be good for T." I told her if she knows him and he wants to fly to Chicago for a blind date WITH ME (this is highly unlikely), then I'm down. If not, I need them to be a bit more realistic.

Stay tuned for more from mom.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Misfits

First, let's talk about the guys that didn't make it:

Coworker's Picks

The Gay Guy - Sadly, according to Big Mike, I just like gay guys. The fella in question had everything on my list of requirements, if you will. It wasn't shocking when my boss told me that she thought he was perfect for me, inquired and he was like "If Tea has a brother or uncle, I'm down." Yeah... no.

Mr. Perfect - This dude was seemingly perfect for me and actually not gay. I won't run his stats because the world is too small, but basically in the time that it took my coworker to hook the date up, he met and cultivated a relationship and now has a serious girlfriend. WOMPERS!

BFF Picks

The Guy My Home Skillet Dated - Seriously if I had fewer girlfriends, my options for dating would open up significantly, but I'm not dating a guy that someone who's going to be in my wedding used to date. Nope, can't do it.

The Too Close For Comfort Guy
- My bff picked him, ran his stats and I was willing to try it. Then she gave me a full name and I know dude. That's all I'm saying so that I don't incriminate him or myself. I died laughing though. I know too many people.

More of the misfits coming up tomorrow.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Essence Summer Dating Challenge

So I did the Essence Summer Dating Challenge. The challenge was to go on three blind dates over the course of the summer set up by 1) your mom 2) your best friend and 3) your boss.

As a dating anthropologist this was right up my alley. Because while I do a fair amount of dating, I've never been on a blind date. I also have never tasked anyone who loved me with setting me up with someone. I've casually hinted, but people never take me seriously.

So anyway, just like the series, stay tuned this week for tales of good, bad and the ugly.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Good News Thursday

Or you know whatever day I post this. But the day I wrote this, here's all the good things that were happening

10. I just booked another wedding. Did I tell you all I do on-site day-of wedding coordinating? If not, look out for a post on that later. :) YAY.
9. The gig has been taking real notice of how phenomenal I am. And well... it pays to be phenomenal. #bonuses and #perks
8. The gig gave me to opportunity to give #bonuses and #perks to my team who's also phenomenal. Spreading the love like cake icing outchea.
7. I got free Cubs tickets yesterday. AWESOMENESS.
6. I only had to work three days this week.
5. I got invited to a client meeting that I never get invited to because it's "next level" time. And you know what next-level means... MO MONEY, MO MONEY.
4. I am not sick anymore. I have mild allergies every morning, but the cold that was almost the death of me in August is LONG GONE!!!!
3. I have options.
2. You love me.
1. God loves me.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!

Who's happy the 30 prefixed topics are over *raises hand high*

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

29 - Your Aspirations

I aspire to (continue to) be a trailblazer in my profession.
I aspire to be a Vice President at my current PR firm.
I aspire to one day start my own business.
I aspire to be a loving girlfriend.
I aspire to be a serene fiance.
I aspire to be a devoted wife.
I aspire to be a doting mother.
I aspire to own a home with in-unit laundry (let's stop playing these baldheaded games, this is my only TRUE aspiration in life)
I aspire to own [or have lots of access to] a boat

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

28 - Something That You Miss

Wal-mart and not for the reasons that you think. I miss Wal-mart in Savoy because I used to call b up at any time of the night and she lived in Champaign and I lived in Urbana and we would meet up at Wal-mart in Savoy.

Now she lives on the south side and I live on the northside and there is nowhere that's open 24 hours that has deals on everything from bagels to boots and where you could find couples doing "family" shopping before everyone knew they were an item.

Oh, many a relationship press release was written via Wal-mart in Savoy. I miss having so many of my close friends no less than 2 miles away from me at all times, with little to no responsibilities and therefore lots of free time and lots of student loan money to waste.

Monday, October 4, 2010

27 - Your Favorite Place

I've been to so many places, I can't really pick a favorite. But here's the honest-to-God truth: My favorite place is with people I love. So if they're at my mom's, my grandma's, Miami, France, church, the club, a bbq, a bar, on the sidewalk, at a restaurant or in my apartment, then it becomes my favorite place.

Friday, October 1, 2010

26 - Your Fears

OMG! It's October. I'm supposed to be doing an update on Q3, but let me finish this 30-day business out first. I love it when the posts just write themselves.

Ok, my fears. I'll share two since it's plural.

1. I fear that I'm going to do something to upset God and I won't bounce back from it. Like I'm extremely blessed today, but one day I'm going to say or do something ungodly and God will say I've given you enough second chances and that was it.

I also think my punishments will be subtle and effect the next generation. Like my kids are going to be ugly or morbidly obese or have health issues because I was mean (or can be mean sometimes).

2. I'm also deathly afraid of... you know what if you want to know DM or e-mail me. I'm superstitious sometimes and I feel like if I put this on the blog the likelihood of it happening will go up.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

25 - A First

**Happy Birthday thummyb**

Let's talk about my first plane ride.

I was going to see a friend who lived in Memphis. We were bffs in grammar school and then her dad's job moved them to Memphis. This was customary for her, she'd lived in Dallas, Houston, LA, Chicago and then Memphis. Her family was in LA during the riots. Womp.

So anywho, this was before September 11th, but I vaguely remember my mom still couldn't come all the way up to the gate with me. She kept telling people it's her first time flying. I was young, but I grew up pretty fast because I had to, so I didn't consider myself young. I was, however, embarrased.

Then they had the nerve to put me on a little rickety one seat on one side and two seats on the other plane for my first ride. I remember I was listening to Brandi on my CD player and the flight attendant came over and kneeled and was like "you can't listen to that right now, but you can turn it on later"

She was so nice and sweet and I was thinking "Can you move, people are staring at me weirdly now."

Then we had turbulance and like any pre-tween I held onto the seat. Everyone in my section turned to make sure I was ok. I was such a little twit, I was just like I'm fine, stop staring at me. No teenager likes to be put on display (yes, I'm using pre-tween and teen interchangeably because I don't know how old I was).

Anywho, the flight was short and uneventful and I was never scared of flying, just hadn't done it yet. After that ride, I knew flying was something I could do all the time.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

23 - Something That Make You Feel Better

Peanut Butter Chip cupcakes from Sprinkles. LAWD.

Monday, September 27, 2010

22 - Something that upsets you


That's the number of murders that there were in Chicago in 2010 on the day I wrote this post. Google it, I bet it's much more now.

That's 1 or 2 murders each and every day and this is just the city. This says nothing of the depressed suburbs like Harvey and Maywood that have just as much violent crime, but in a much smaller area.

Yep, 300 upsets me.

Friday, September 24, 2010

21 - Another Moment

Another moment. You're welcome.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

20 - This Month

This month is September.

- A whole heap of my homies went to NYC for Labor Day. I didn't go to keep some money in the bank, but it's fortunate, because I was really sick at the end of August. I had a case of you-do-too-much otherwise known as a lingering cold.
- Both of my best friends' birthdays are this month
- My little brother's birthday is this month
- By the time this post I likely will have already taken a work trip this month (Boo! I was really trying to stay on the ground in September, but whatever #moremiles)
- When I see 9 as it refers to September I see it in the color green, light green, seafoam. LOL! (I actually see all the months in colors... I should do a post about that)
- This month has been phenomenal for me mentally because I've traveled for work a lot less and spent a lot more time with friends and family.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

19 - Something You Regret

Dang. I don't want to talk about regrets. Boo!!!

Alright, I have plenty of regrets. You know better and you do better and you live and learn and all that jazz.

On my study abroad trip there was about 18 people from the U of I. There were only two black people: me and another girl. She was African-American, but English wasn't her first language. She may have been from an island, I'm not completely sure, but she was misunderstood a lot because we couldn't figure out the meaning of her sentences and then she would throw a hissy fit when someone who spoke clearer English said the same thing she was trying to say.

I can't remember my other beefs with her (I should pull out my journal from Spain and see if everything I thought was so bad then is still so bad today, I doubt it). I pretty much let her have it in Spain at every opportunity. Looking back, I see that it's not my place to put others in their place. If she wants to have an attitude, let her have it. Sure we were in close quarters and HAD to see each other every day, but my voice, strong as it is, may have turned others against her and I can only imagine what it feels like to be in a foreign country and feel like the people you came with don't like you.

At the time, I couldn't care less, but looking back, I feel like I ruined parts of her experience and I regret that.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

18 - Your Favorite Birthday

My favorite bday was 25. I'm a year younger than most people who started high school and college with me, so when I turned 25 most of my homies were turning 26. To say that Miami, New York, Vegas, LA and D.C. had already been "done" to bring in 25 is a gross understatement. They had been destroyed, broken, killed, murked, whatever you want to call it.

So I decided for my big 2-5 I'd do it a different way. I'd take a chill trip. So I rented a house in Phoenix, invited a whole heap of chics and put together a chill itinerary. The house was so ballin' we could have just did that (5 BRs, 3 baths, pool table, outdoor bar, pool, jacuzzi, master bedroom terrace, outdoor and indoor dining... it was nice).

But we went wine tasting, horseback riding, had a spa day and because I'm Tea, we hit the wack Phoenix club scene two out of the four nights we were there. We also did a birthday dinner for me and my birthday twin at a steakhouse. The trip was so nice because I had a squad of pretty, succesful, like-minded women with me (we took about a million photos and not one person complained EVER). We also had wine with every meal (pancakes and Gew├╝rztraminer... yessir!)

So I did the trip the week leading up to my birthday and then on my actual birthday I had drinks with like 20 people at Martini Park, moved to Tantrum from there and then Buddy Guy's Legends after that... It was a Monday.

I just remember this birthday being stress-free, drama-free and full of good times and good people both in Phoenix and the Chi. It was like my first woosah birthday as I entered into lower insurance rate territory. We'll have to make sure 30 goes as hard (or in this case, as soft).

Monday, September 20, 2010

Tyrese & his single-bashing

Ran across this post

I don't feel like getting into Twitter arguments on THIS subject today, so I'll say my peace on MY blog.

Dear Tyrese,

I agree with everything you said on the show. But not because you're not single. You ARE single. Here's a quick lesson:

single=not married & married=not single. Unless those papers are signed you're pretty much just boo-ed up. Tell a friend.

17 - Your Favorite Memory

This is pretty tough. I have some awesome memories, but I think my favorite is college graduation weekend. The entire weekend was phenomenal. I'm pretty sure I'd taken off work (I worked at the Limited in the mall), I went to the club Friday AND Saturday night.

We had black congratulatory on Saturday night, then my college (LAS) graduation on Sunday morning. Then my mom rented out the conference room in the hotel where my family was staying in and got Famous Daves for all the fam who drove down to Champaign. You can act fancy if you want to, but Famous Dave's goes hard in the paint. Everyone went around the table and said why they were proud of me. I cried the entire time. We don't really do mushy in my family. It's not like they called every week that I was in college (or now for that matter) to say they're proud of me or WHY they're proud of me, so it was just a lot to take in at one time. It was touching and completely unexpected. Plus, I'm a crybaby.

From the top-notch partying to the fellowship with family to the feeling of accomplishment to the kind words my family had for me to saying goodbye to four uber-fun, but very trying years in Champaign, it was just a phenomenal weekend.


Friday, September 17, 2010

16 - Your First Kiss

My first kiss was interesting. It was with a dude with big lips and I kind of find that attractive (I'm black, what can I say).

But... they didn't have the intended effect. We were young, probably like 11 or 12 or something, so it was just a peck. But it was a sloppy peck and everyone kept asking me how it was and I was supposed to say awesome or wonderful or something like that.

Just pecking his lips left all kind of wetness on my face. And I don't care how fresh your breath is someone's saliva on your upper lips and upper chin is just absolutely disgusting and I'm sure it didn't smell nice. We were in a back yard, so I couldn't really go wash my face. It was just horrid. Then, of course, after that he wanted to kiss me all the time. I broke up with him immediately (or stopped calling or stopped going by his house or meeting him at the playground or whatever you call it when you're 11 or 12).

I lied and told everyone the kiss was fine. It was not fine.

Currently, as I'm typing this I have the icky, something smells like garbage look on my face which FURTHER lets me know how not fine it was. UGH!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

15 - Your Dreams

I'll talk about physical dreams. My dreams are nutty. I have like 7-10 dreams when I dream and I rarely remember any of them.

This reminds me, when I was in France I had a dream so asinine and I remembered it and I wrote down every juicy detail. If I can find my notebook in my boxes (won't be tonight), I will come back and tell you all about it.

So long as there are any forbidden fellas or dirty acts I'll write it verbatim. Who's excited? LOL!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

14 - What You Wore Today

I told you all I was doing all 30 posts in one sitting right. It's 5 minutes later, I'm wearing the same thing. If I remember I'll come in here and say what I have on the day the post is posting vs. the day I'm writing the post, but I probably will NOT remember.


I did remember. YAY! So today I have on these shoes and a dark gray skirt suit with a black V-neck tee. Yes, I have the calves on display. Tell a friend.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

13 - This Week

(read: the week I wrote this)

Sunday - A wedding in Homer Glen
Monday - took a half sick day
Tuesday - Work, Home
Wednesday - Work, Home, Pack
Thursday-Sunday - Vegas for work

Monday, September 13, 2010

12 - What's In Your Bag

This is a true mess, but here goes

NBA Cares Pin
Tac-tics (not tic-tacs, don't tell anyone)
business cards
digital camera
sore throat losenges
a can of chicken noodle soup
my blackberry
my other cell phone
a checkbook
Pepcid AC
My iPod nano
a keycard for the gig
a flyer about Jesus a random saint gave me on the street
dermalogica samples
an empty M&M wrapper


Friday, September 10, 2010

11 - Your Siblings

I'll do these in chronological order too

J - big sis. Super crazy. Talks a big game, but I used to beat her up when we were kids. Her kids are scared of me now, but I swear I'm #bigfun when the kids are well behaved.

M - This is my stepbrother. He's quiet and goofy. We don't talk a lot.

T (yes, another T) - This is my little sis on my biological father's side. She looks nothing like me. She's prepping for med school. I'm extra super proud of her and hope we can be closer one day.

S - My college graduate and workaholic baby brother. He'll do anything for me. He has such a great heart and he's the father of my baby niece (who is cuteness personified thank you very much!)

J - My baby who went all the way to FAMU for college. (I'm not saying I suggested it so I could live out my HBCU dreams through him... I'm just saying it's a good damn idea.) He is CRAZY and mean and extra, extra funny (if you like crazy, mean humor). I love him to pieces.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Whip My Hair

I interrupt today's excruciatingly boring post to talk about this video. If you've been under a social media rock (it's ok, it happens), you may not have seen this yet. If like me, your a voracious consumer of social media then you've seen and heard it a million times, but uh...

It's Still Hot.

Man, I always knew this youngin' was gonna do her thing. I mean from the moment Jada conceived I was looking around trying to see if I had a sibling with a child coming so I could be a part of the Smith family one day. (I do have young nieces, but no fellas yet).

Anyway, this is a CLUB BANGER. I might go to the club, ask them to play it and leave. Like for real. It goes so hard.

Anyway, please enjoy this like it's the first time and whip it ladies!!!