These are the top 10 things that Chicagoans did or vowed to do on Thursday when the high was 9 degrees Farenheit (for all you metric system readers 32 is freezing, 9 is some other shit!)
10. Plan a warm weather vacation
9. Get a ski mask
8. Buy an automatic car starter
7. Install the automatic car starter they got for Christmas LAST winter
6. Use the indoor cafeteria instead of going out for lunch.
5. Check the 10-day forecast and reschedule all appointments (dentist, Dr., optometrist) for the days of the week where the temperature would be closer to 40 than
4. Check the weather daily. (Don't know what dummies weren't doing this to start. This is Chicago. It could be 60 and sunny and 10 and snowy in the same damn day)
3. Buy hand and foot warmers with NO intentions whatsoever of skiing or going to a Bears game.
2. Buy a full snow suit... like a 3-yr old and not be embarassed to wear that jawn as a grown ass man or woman
1. Update your resume, send it to companies you don't even like in warm states, get hired and move the hell out of Chicago (most of us never make good on that promise, but it sure does sound good when your tears are frozen to your face)
What'd I miss?