Monday, December 7, 2009

Holiday Martyrs

I had a great holiday and didn't want to put a damper on it by posting this the Monday after Thanksgiving, so it's a little dated, but I think you all can keep up.
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It's 7:10 on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I have a slight attitude. My mom decided to do a potluck at her house this year rather than slaving over all the food, which I thought it was an excellent idea. We're in a recession and she and her husband shouldn't have all that leftover food anyway.

I had to remind her THREE times to tell people about it. She claimed that the Saturday before Thanksgiving was too late. I said no, get the e-mails/texts out today and it'll be fine. She forgot. Then I reminded her two more times on Sunday and she finally sent it out.

The thing is people didn't really step up to do the big stuff. So my mom is still cooking Turkey, dressing, ham & greens. I'm making mac & cheese (which I always do at her house, but I'm buying the supplies which is new) and my grandma is making potato salad (which she always does and I'm sure my mom is paying for ingredients) and my aunt is bringing yams (new development right here) and everyone else is bringing dessert or pop (which they always do).

I bet when I come back to make edits to this post my mom will have made a peach cobbler and banana pudding too... **back to make edits** she actually made a peach cobbler, cornbread, gravy for the turkey and two pies.

It upsets me that she doesn't put her foot down and do what she says she's going to do. I feel like the family takes advantage of her. But at the same time, what's really cooking my grits is that I think she likes it. **back to edit** ok, saying she likes it is harsh. I think she feels obligated in the way that so many women, mothers and black women especially, do to give back to their families. It shouldn't hurt you to help others though. I just want to help her put herself first on holidays, but she's not trying to hear me. I'm going to leave what I originally wrote at the bottom though, so keep reading.

I really don't think she can do things easily and have a carefree holiday. It's like she WANTS to be overworked and underappreciated.

The reason I know this is because I said I was going to make the mac & cheese in the morning and she was like, no I'm making dressing in the morning. I'm like aren't there two racks in the oven. AND don't we have ALL morning to cook. From the time I get up (9am-ish) to the time we eat 2pm-ish. Why in God's name can't we both just cook in the morning.

Nope, she's not having it. Taking the practical road is too much like right. T, you know my oven doesn't cook evenly, blah, blah, blah and so she's going to STAY UP tonight cooking greens and dressing and preparing the turkeys for the deep fryer.

I tried to help, I really did.

Women, it doesn't have to be this hard. You can cook meals that don't require loss of sleep and still be appreciated. When I start doing Thanksgiving at my house (will probably never happen because my mom can't ever just go sat down), but when I do, please remind me that stressing over holiday meals is for the birds (unless my mother-in-law is coming over for the first time - that's pretty much the only time I'll be stressed).

P.S. I missed my darn bus Wednesday night writing this post, so I hope y'all comment. :)

1 comment:

The Real Housewife of Cook County said...

I do think that mothers do this on purpose. hWhy? I don't know. My mom doesn't just do this for the holidays. She puts herself out for all types of occasions. Driving folks to church, going to pick up able-bodied people and take them grocery shopping. All types of things. I don't get it. Maybe I'm just selfish? I just believe that there's only so much putting yourself out that one should do.