Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Match.com: The Men

Just like in real life, there are types of men on Match. Here are some that I came across on Match:

Old[er] Men
You all know I like an older man. A little grey in the beard (good GAWD, that's sexy). Don't get me wrong a Chris Brown look-alike could still get it, but I have a pretty well defined range of who's ok and who's not. My age parameters were displayed PROMINENTLY on my Match.com profile, but guys damn near twice my age were still trying to get up. Um... seriously. If you might show up at my mom's class reunion Iaintgonebeabletodoit!!!

Short Men
There's a lot of short men on Match.com. I know Joe Castro's about to be mad at me, but if I have my pick, I want a tall man. Two of my three brothers (2 by nature, 1 by nurture) are not that tall and one of them is an excellent husband and one is an excellent father. They're both attractive. They have outgoing personalities. They're awesome, BUT, If I get to sit at a computer and pick who I'm going to fall in love with it's not going to be a dude who's 5'6 (Side note: My brothers are not THAT short, just making a point).

I also have some friends who are on j-date and they let me know upfront that if a guy says 5'8, he's barely 5'6. The point is if I marry a short man, it won't be because I met him on Match.com.

Gay Men
Let's just say that there are men on Match.com that claim they are looking for women, but there is no way in hell that's the case.

The Playboys
These fools have headlines like "Ready for Whatever," or usernames like "MagicStick"they either wear sunglasses in the dark on photos or they don't have photos because they're probably married or in serious relationships. They claim that they make a lot of money and are just looking to wine and dine someone... RIGHT...

The Cheesepuffs
"Looking for Love" "Look No Further" "The One and Only" "Could You Be Mrs. Right" GETYOBIG Jodeci "Come & Talk To Me" face the phuck outta here!!! Um... you all know how anti-caking I am in real life. I'll be damned if I start caking on the internets. That's just not me... not really. ;) LOL!

Question of the Day: Did I miss any online dating types? (can be from your experience or what you've heard from friends)

2 comments:

antithesis said...

mind you, i was on free sites but i seemed to get folks where english was not their first language. like actually from africa and such. and then just people who havent left their state/tri-state area who simply could not speak/type english. im no english professor but DAMN!

The Real Housewife of Cook County said...

u are too funny. If only your life could be chronicled on a reality show.