Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Match.com: Judgment Time

The best part about Match.com is that for a small fee you can judge people on your computer. Seriously, you just sit at your computer and judge people. And you know me I judge just like in real life.

For example:

He can have kids if he's extremely fine.
He can be divorced if he's wildly successful.
If he's average looking, he'd better be ove 5'10
Actually, he'd better be tall period. (Sorry shorter fellas reading)

He's perfect, but DANG he's the wrong religion
He's who I want, but he's only looking for Latinas (or another race of women that I am not)
He's awesome, but lives in New York or VA. (Match.com fail for bringing him up in my search in the first damn place).
He has all the right stats, but can't put a damn sentence together. Dude, did you really graduate from college?
He's 30-something, never been married, no kids, loves the north side, loves to travel... but he's an Iota. DAMN!

He doesn't ever want kids...
He has the perfect job, but he wants someone who's in love with animals (Do I look like the crocodile hunter to you?)
He takes photos of himself with his shirt off and he's not at the beach
He has the camera phone photo in the bathroom. (Really dude? Really?)
Oh snap, I winked at someone that only has a HS education. Damn, how do I go back on this thing? He is fine though...

I could go on and on, but that's how it is. The crazy thing is that you can see who's viewed your profile and they're just as picky. A ton of guys who looked at my profile that I thought should have winked at me or sent me an e-mail, didn't. They must've seen something they didn't like, which is awesome. It's like, hey, don't waste my time if you're not into Christians. Or if you want a girl who's an introvert, you can clearly see from my profile that she's not me.

It's not any different from what we do in real life, but it really puts you in touch with your preferences, biases, likes and dislikes. Seriously... WTH I look like dating, let alone marrying an Iota. C'mon now.


RB said...

That sadly enough... is beyond true...Are you greek affiliated?

T said...

@RB, nope, I'm not greek affiliated.

antithesis said...

ha! no love for the iotas? lmao!

K to the... said...

You and Luvvie are killing me with the Iota disses! lol

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

LOVE this post!!! Hilarious!!! I remember my cousin was good friends with an Iota. What's wrong with them? I really want to know. I don't know much about fraternities, but are they considered the lame ones?

My sister tried Match.com once, but she said she got tired of filling out all the questions!

Very good read! Thanks for the laugh!!

T said...

Everyone's asking what's wrong with Iotas? In real mature adult life: Nothing. People also asked (via Twitter) does it really matter? In real mature adult life: Probably not. I'm sure they have their fair share of lame & cool dudes just like every other fraternity.

[Side note: Since they were founded in the 60s, instead of in the 10s and 20s like all the other black frats, they get ragged on a lot for being "lame," or "johnny-come-lately," but most of them are truly stand-up guys...]

But we're not talking real mature adult life, per se. We're talking about what goes on inside Tea's head and I can be superficial. The only thing that keeps popping into my head is having a brown & gold stroll line at my wedding and I'm NOT on that. When you marry a greek you have to go to all their events and all their LBs weddings and the thought of all that brown & gold makes me queasy.

There are only so many of them in the world, most schools don't even have a chapter, so I'm not concerned about my bias. I have to make decisions I can live with. If I miss a man because of it... oh well.

Kay* said...

oh gosh i LOVE how honest you are. MORE MORE! i need to find out what i'm potentially getting into with this online dating stuff! oh gosh - you can really see who checked you out? i'm not sure if that's good for my self-esteem lololol.

by the way i didn't even know what an iota was until i read the comments above. i thought you meant to write idiot. lol. yeah, fraternities/sororities in canada? pretty much non-existent.

ThummyB said...

This sentence made my DAY!!!

"WTH I look like dating, let alone marrying an Iota."