Thursday, October 29, 2009

See... What Had Happened Was...

(This post ended up being stupid long, but trust me, it's worth it.)

I had an 8:25 a.m. flight to New Jersey. My alarm clock was hating and even though I set it for 5 a.m., it didn't go off and I woke up at 7:26, WAY too late to make that flight. So I showered quickly and packed. Oh yeah, the one time I decide I'm going to pack in the morning is the time I oversleep.

So in miracle fashion, I'm out house by 8:00 on the head. I call a cab, it'll be there at 8:07. I flag one down at 8:04, call back to cancel my 8:07 flag. I put on make-up. (The only thing worst than a stressed woman is an ugly stressed woman).

I call American Airlines to see if the flight is on time. It is. I ask what time the next flight is. 11:15 and it's wide open. Great. It gets into Newark at 2:40. Not Great. My destination is 45 minutes away from Newark and I need to be there at 2:30 p.m.

I call my company's travel service to see what time the next United flight leaves. It departs at 10 and gets in 1 or something like that. Great. It costs $354 plus the $45 ticketing fee. Not great. How the hell am I going to expense a $400 flight because I woke up late. Accounting would kill me.

I look up. 8:35 I'm still in traffic on the same street I live on. Damnit!!!

So I'm thinking... I cannot be late for this. Thinking... there has to be another option. Thinking how am I going to explain this to my managers, the talent, the camera crew, thinking, thinking, thinking. Well, people going to NYC sometimes fly to Newark, since I'm going to Newark, perhaps I'll fly to NYC.

I called the travel hotline back. There's a flight out to LaGuardia at 9:35 getting there at 12:45. Perfect. $150 change fee plus $45 ticketing fee. Not perfect. I'll just wait until I get to the airport to change the flight.

I dial my office because I now need to cancel my rental car and get car service from NYC to NJ. I don't have an admin [anymore. effing cutbacks]. Only admins book car service. I ask the receptionist if she can book it. No, I have to e-mail the admin pool. I'm in a cab and on a short deadline, don't have the resources to do that. She transfers me into the admin supervisor. This broad's voicemail comes up. GRRRRR!!!!

I call the receptionist back, ask for the Car Service number. She gives it to me. I dial it. It doesn't work. I call back (this is the third time I've talked to her in 2 minutes). She gives me the correct number.

I call. I book the service. Car Service Lady (CSL): What's your company's account number? T: I don't know.
CSL: What's the job number to bill this to? T: I don't know.
CSL: What's the purchase order number? T: I don't know.
CSL: What's your flight number? T: I'm not even sure if I'm going to be able to get on the flight to LaGuardia. I'm sorry that I'm basically no help at all, but I don't have an admin anymore due to cutbacks and admins have all this information and no one is available to help me and my flight leaves in 45 minutes and I don't even know if I'm going to make it and I'm really sorry, but I don't know the answer to your question. Is there anything you can do? Can I call you back with the information?
CSL: Ma'am if I don't have a purchase order number, the car won't be there to pick you up.
T: *sigh and smile* (because you sound calmer and prettier when you smile) Can. I. Call You Back. With That Information?
CSL: Yes ma'am.

8:50 Call a team member and ask her to do a purchase order and send to me quickly. Pay the Cab Driver. Stand in a relatively short line at the airport to change my ticket. Change my ticket to LaGuardia. No change fee at all. Do the stanky legg in my head. 8:58 a.m. Flight attendant says your plane will be boarding in 5 minutes. Great.

The brother in the first class line called me over, to bypass the other security line. YES! Get violated also known as security checkpoint. 9:03 Get a bagel sandwich. (No need to be stressed AND hungry).

Check my blackberry and the co-worker wants to know what account she should charge the purchase order to. Get slightly peeved because I only work on one account with her. WHAT ACCOUNT DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD CHARGE IT TO?(I say this in my head, not outloud or to her)

E-mail her back, ask her to hurry because my plane was leaving in minutes. Look down at my phone. 9:12. I have 3 voicemails. My phone was on silent. GREAT just GREAT. I have to listen to 3 old voicemails and let Verizon know if I want to erase them or not. ARGH!!!! VM1. Limo service wants to know the PO number. Erase. VM2. Limo service says I gave them the wrong flight number (of course I did, how else was I going to get them to process the car service.) Erase. VM3. Co-worker asking what account to charge the purchase order to. Erase. My phone rang while I was checking voicemail, couldn't answer it.

Group 4 now boarding. I'm group 2. Dangit! Hustle, hustle.

Board my flight, 9:15. Call the limo service back on the tarmac. She wants to know my confirmation number. It's on the back of the cab receipt in my wallet in the bowels of my purse. T: Hold on ma'am. Please don't hang up on me.

Board the plane, I'm all the way in the back. Awesome. Now she wants to know what flight I'm on. T: I don't know, let me find my ticket that I just put away in order to get the confirmation number for you. T: I think I'm on XXX flight. She wants to know if I'm sure. T: No, I'm on the plane. I know where it's going, I know where's it's leaving from, but there are millions of numbers on an airline ticket and I think XXX is my flight, but no ma'am. I am not sure. She says I have to be sure to get a car service. (A lesser person would have cried at this point)

I say ok, let me ask a flight attendant. Shout to a flight attendant, is this flight XXX. A woman near me answered with vigor, yes this is flight number XXX. (Thank you mystery woman). T: Attention, lady on the phone. Yes, this is flight number XXX and I am sure.

CSL: Great. Now, do you have the purchase order number. T: I have to put my luggage in an overhead bin now, can you hold. Please don't hang up on me.
Flight attendant: Can you put that on the left. (As I tried to put a roller board on the right).
T: Laughs (because, seriously, why not laugh at this point) Sure. Whatever you want.
Flight attendant: *cooing voice* Oh, your shirt matches your luggage. I've never seen that before. That's so cute.
T: *Looking down at my black polka-dot shirt* Oh wow. I didn't do that on purpose because that would be tacky.
Everyone seated near me: *erupts in laughter*
Flight attendant: I'm so sorry, I don't know why I said that.
T: Gives the flight attendant a "it's no problem at all face*
T: Hello, lady on the phone yes, the PO# is XXXXXX.
T: Excuse me Sir, I'm sitting in the window seat. Thanks.
T: Lady on the phone, are we all set?
CSL: Well, I need to call dispatch to make sure this number is right, but you sound like you can't hold.
T: *Seated* Exhales. I can hold. *Hold...*
CSL: You're all set.

Great. 9:20

Look down at my phone. Got another voicemail. Great. It's the limo service telling me for the third time that my flight is wrong and to call them back. Erase. 9:21

Call the travel hotline to cancel my rental car in Newark, lest I be charged some fees. 9:22

9:30 please turn off all electronic devices. The doors are closed and we are ready for takeoff.

Thank God for his divine power, my problem-solving skills and my new anger and stress management techniques. Woo Sah and Praise the Lord!

So... how was your morning?

The Problem with Serial Dating Is...

I don't remember who I dated or why I erased their numbers out of my phone. So when I got a text asking what I was doing for lunch, I didn't know if I should response or erase it. I don't have the exact text, but it was something like "Sorry, I've been so busy, but you've been busy too. I would really like to see you today. What's good?" I like to live life on the edge (not really, but kinda), so I responded.

First, I checked every guy who I thought he could be, then I tried to remember who I gave my number to (to no avail).

So waiting for his response, I thought I'm tired of playing these bald-headed games, so I just dialed the number back.

T: Hey, this is T. Did you just text me?
Dude: *short pause placing my voice* oh, Hey T! This is such and such, why don't you have my number saved?
T: HEY such and such! I don't know. I lost a lot of numbers in my phone a while back. I'll save it down now.
My boy: Girl, my bad. I didn't mean to send that to you... unless it applies.
T: Boy, you so crazy! BYE!

I'm in Jersey today for work (literallly 22 hours). I finally found a reason to go to Jersey. Now justs 18 states to go in my quest to visit all 50 states. :)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tea's Tangents: Quick Yoga Edition

Yoga is hilarious. I know it's not supposed to be funny, but blogging and Twitter has completely messed up my ability to be alone. Every time I have a funny, interesting or even off-the-wall thought I'm like dang, I need to Tweet that or blog about that. And oh the thoughts I have in yoga class.

1. I swear I thought I heard the background music say WOOOO SAAAAH. The lady was chanting in some language and I was about to cry in laughter. All I could think about was Martin in his captain's house, on the phone with his wife, high off ectasy in a blue fluffy housecoat talking about, "you should see this sexy shit I got on right now." I was like hold it together T, do your warrior pose T, do not laugh out loud T. It was tough.

2. Yoga has all kinds of fun new ways to describe things. Now, your booty bone in yoga is called the sit bone. I'm sure that's not the medical term for it, but it's pretty self-explanatory. So my instructor goes "Come on to the top of your sit bones. Take your hands under and remove all that upholstery to make sure you're properly aligned." I'm in class like wait. no. stop. Did he just call my ass upholstery? I can't make this ish up!!!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

If Ti Ruled the World

#iMustAdmit Every song that has an I in it, I put "Ti" in it. Makes it that much better [to me].

Anywho on some pure randomness this is how things would go if Ti ruled the world.

- Public Transportation would always be on time (no matter what side of the city you lived on)
- There would be peace (especially on the 3rd world streets of Chicago)
- All women would have perfectly tailored clothes, well maintained manis & pedis, & precise dye jobs (make-up would still be optional)
- All men would be chilvalrous
- All women who's stomachs hang over their pants, will be required to wear empire waist shirts until they get that situation handled. (Skinny girls included... the muffin top will be extinct)
- No one would cheat on anything EVER: taxes, SOs, spouses, Spades... no cheating!
- Every time someone lied a black comedian would jump out of the shadows and say "you bullshittin'"
- People could leave work when they got done. No more sitting somewhere 8 hours for no reason. To that same end, people with kids or spouses wouldn't leave single people in the office to do all the damn work. You get done, you leave. You're not done, you don't leave.
- Everyone (and I mean everyone) would have have healthcare and mental health would be mandatory. Oh yes, go sit your issue-having ass on someone's couch so you can stop destroying the world (or getting on my nerves, either way).
- True hatred (not to be confused with envious haterism) would be punished by turning you into the thing or person you hate the most. Hate blacks, now you're black (and you won't get any loans or cabs quickly either). Hate Arabs, now you're Arab. Hate Women, here comes your period...

Question of the Day: So what would happen if YOU ruled the world?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Favorite Couples

Ok, I am a big fan of some couples right now. Wanna hear 'em? Here they go...

Tea's Top 10 hottest couples right now:

10. Jay & Bey (I wonder if they have sex on money...)
9. Kimora and Djimon (SO CUTE!!!)
8. Dawn and Que (they're bonding over being played by Diddy on the regular and they Twitter cake often)
7. Eva and Lance (They are going to have some sexy kids!!!)
6. Keyshia Cole and Boobie Gibson (Seems like good personality matches)
5. Common and Serena Williams (she on TV, but she definitely has more ass than the models)
4. Michael Strahan and Nicole Murphy (Love to see old sexy people gettin' it)
3. Holly Robinson and Rodney Peete (She's my role model)
2. President and Mrs. Obama (Duh!)
1. Will & Jada (Sexiest couple, period. I don't give a damn about all those rumors, I LOVE them.)

Gives me hope for future cake shit and whatnot...

Who are your favorite couples?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Two-Strand Twists Tutorial (Well, Sort Of)

Here's how I figured out how to do my own two-strand twists: This is sort of long, so I bolded the highlights for those who aren't interested in reading the whole thing.

1. Watched Youtube Video 1: I found someone who was cute who's video was about 5-6 minutes.(She washed and conditioned combing through her hair in the shower, parted her hair into 4 sections, used a spray moisturizer (Carol's Daughter mixed with Infusium mixed with some other expensive sounding something), then wrapped two strands of hair around each other like regular braids, but using two strands of hair instead of three. Then she used loc butter to secure the two strands in place). After watching, I decided that her hair texture is NOTHING like mine and while the info was helpful, I need to find another video.

2. Watched Youtube Video 2: I found someone who's hair texture looked like mine, who's video is about 5-6 minutes and watched it. (She washed and conditioned her hair combing through in the shower, parted her hair into 4 sections, then wrapped two sections of the hair around each other like regular braids, but using two strands of hair instead of three. She used a mix of heated olive oil and shea butter to simultaneously moisturize and secure the two strands in place.)

I don't have to bust out an IGAP test booklet to show you that I found a pattern. Wash, Comb Through and Condition, Section Hair into 4, Moisturize, Twist, Secure Twists. So I went into my bathroom to see what I was working with. I found some braid spray from when I had cornrows last winter (moisturizer) and some gel from my every day wash-n-go (security).

I followed the process on a Saturday night and it took about 2 and a half hours. I took a break to wash dishes, big mistake. I'd suggest doing it all the way through to avoid fatigue. The twists were so fluffy and cute. Sorry, I don't own a camera, so I don't have any pics. But the real test of time was what it would look like in the morning, because I have major hair shrinkage.

No matter how long my hair is, it always looks the same short length because it shrinks up. So I went to bed and on Sunday the morning the style was... decent. Not really go to work or church cute, but if-I-had-to-go-to-Walgreens-no-one-would-notice-my-hair-wasn't-fly-decent.

I stayed in the house that day watching football, then Monday morning I decided to untwist them making the style a "Twist-Out." And this was the best. They looked like a straw set with a perm or the way my wash-n-go looks everyday when it's wet. Again, the test of time was how it would look the next day.

I'm happy to report on Tuesday morning it still looked good! To me a twist-out with natural hair is just like a roller set when I had a perm. If I tie it up at night, it'll look good in the morning and it goes through curl iterations. I absolutely love textured styles, so needless to say, this'll be my style all winter.

I'll put up a pic as soon as I can steal one from Facebook.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Two-Strand Twists

IMO, my hair was wack all last winter. I'm too fabulous to let that happen again, so I had to figure something out. I thought about wearing it straight all winter, but I really can't afford the hair appointments anymore and I like being able to sleep until 7... 7:30... hell 8 a.m. on a bad day and still get to work on time. 45 minute to 1 hour flat-ironing sessions cut right into my good sleep time and that's not ok.

Not to mention it precipitates WAY too much in Chicago for straight hair to be a sustainable option for me. It's more of a special occassion or I want a new haircut type of thing.

So I decided to try two-strand twists. My cousin who has locs did them for me once before and they looked fabulous, but it took all day to do and I don't know that either of us have that much time on a regular basis. So I decided to (gasp) try to do them myself.

I was scared because I literally just have a lot of hair. Even with a perm I could never feel a brush against my scalp. It's just thick and dense and anything besides wash-n-go is a daunting task. (Ask anyone who's ever spent hours styling my hair).

But the recession will turn you into a DIY-er. With no money to go to the shop and no excuses for looking a mess, I turned to YouTube - A natural sister's hair haven - to get some techniques. Actually, I started at Motown girl, then to Youtube.

I WAS going to post the videos I used, but I underestimated how many people post to YouTube daily and I can't find the videos I used anymore. This post is getting long, but tune in tomorrow to read about my "technique" (for lack of a better word).

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Question of the Day: First Date Fits

What's your favorite first date outfit? (to wear and/or to see on a member of the opposite sex).

I usually do jeans, a cute shirt, sandals in the summer, pumps or boots in the winter. I try not to do the skinny jean/knee boot combo. Gave this dude the COMPLETE wrong idea on a first date one time. (Dude, I'm not into S&M... I just like boots, LOL!)

For a guy, I don't really care as long as he looks age appropriate (please no granddaddy Nikes), but if I HAD to pick, I guess I'd prefer a preppy/casual look on a first date. Dude who looks like he shops at Ralph Lauren and/or Banana Republic...

What about y'all?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Sometimes the truth is just funny. My mom and I are a lot alike. I went over to watch the game a few Sundays ago and we were yelling the same obscenities at the TV, biting our nails at the same time during the 2 minute warning in the 4th quarter and doing the same dance for a Bears TD.

We're so much alike that my stepfather won't even watch the game with us. He watches on the 2nd floor if we're on the 1st floor and he watches in the basement if we're on the 2nd floor. Guess he doesn't need a double dose of superfans. Hilarity.

Anywho, I was looking at some wedding pics and the bride cleaned up really well. It's crazy how my mom and I were on the same page about it. Convo went like this:

Me: *surprised voice* Oh, she looks really nice.
Mom: Um hm. (unsuprised voice almosts as if to say, "of course")
Me: You know she's not the prettiest girl
Mom: Well, he's not the best looking guy
Me: Yeah, they're perfect for each other
Mom: Yeah, that's how it should be

AHAHAHAHAHA. I completely agree with her, but it's just funny hearing someone who's not me say this stuff.

P.S. If you're interested check out last night's impromptu post of the Quest To Find the Perfect Black Pant (below).

Monday, October 19, 2009

Quest To Find The Perfect Pant

So I've been on the search for the perfect pair of basic black pants. I had a couple pairs, but we wear jeans to work, so my black pants have quietly fallen off. Kinda like Mya, but I digress.
You see how the lady's pants fit in the photo above. I LOVE that fit. I remember when Nordstrom starting using that ad campaign, I was thinking damn, those pants are fly. I'm digressing yet, again.

I like my dress pants low rise, with a wide straight leg and not tight on the booty (or tight anywhere for that matter). Sales girls always try to give me tight and/or stretchy-fitting pants because I'm slim. They always think I must want to show off my figure. Maybe because they're young... I wore tighter pants when I was a teenager too.

My thing is: anywhere I'm wearing dress pants, I don't want my booty showing: work, church, conferences, etc. It's just inappropriate. There's no quicker way for people to NOT take you seriously than to show them an imprint of your crotch.

Besides tight, let me say what else I do NOT want in a basic black pant. Jersey, knit, skinny, cuffed, embellished, pinstriped and/or sailor pants. (When I said basic, that's what I meant).

So I went to The Limited. I used to work there about 6 years ago and they're the premier place for pants (or at least that's what the sales tapes said), but they've fallen off. All the fits that I love have been discontinued b/c they weren't doing so well. I actully still love their wide leg pants, but they only do wide legs in special colors, so no black. Stellar customer service at the Limited though.

Next up, Banana Republic. Nice lined pants, but the waistband was uncomfortable. Good customer service, awesome sales and coupons.

Ann Taylor, nice quality pants. Dry clean only looking pants (LOL!), but the waistband was WAY too high. (You all know your mom still wears pants on her waist and not on her hip like we do). Customer service was wack. They only talked to me when I asked a question and the lady pointed me in the right direction rather than walking me to the correct section, there was no door greeter either. I felt like they were just waiting for me to leave and it wasn't anywhere near closing time. I didn't feel welcomed at all.

I'm starting to believe that more companies than just mine have relaxed their dress codes because this time 10 years ago, I'd be tripping over dress pants in stores. Perplexed, I hit up my Twitfam for ideas and they gave me a bevy of options I wasn't thinking about. So in two hours I hit:

Express: Good fitting pants, but the black pants only had flared legs. Not feeling that. Decent customer service, they were knowledgeable about the products and pulled sizes for me, but didn't go out of their way to start fitting rooms. I don't expect too much from them since so many high school and college students shop and work there. I don't think their marketing plan includes acting like a Nordstrom sales associate. (Speaking of Nordstrom, I didn't even carry my broke tail in there. I'm on a recession budget out here).

Gap: They only had black khakis that they were calling dress pants and black itchy pants that I'm not sure why anyone would buy. Good customer service here, friendly, knowledgeable associates.

Old Navy: They USED to have well-fitting dress pants a long time ago. I guess the economy is forcing stores to only stock what they sell very well because they only had black khakis. Good customer service, especially for a discount store. The associate I asked wasn't all that knowledgeable about the merchandise, but she took me to someone who was instead of sending me off and I totally appreciated that.

Club Monaco: They had some NICE pants. I've actually never been here and they had a hot little pencil skirt that I might add to the wardrobe REAL SOON. Kay put me up on game via Twitter. And just like she said the pants "fit the waist, butt, fairly fitted to the knee, then kinda boot cut." They made my butt look NI-ICE (yes, two syllable nice). IF I didn't find the pair I actually bought I would have got these, but they were on the reasonably expensive side (if that's not an oxymoron) and I didn't LOVE the material.

NY & Co: Saving the best for last. The reason NY & Co is head and shoulders above the rest is because they had SO many options of basic, black pants. They specialize in the jersey pant, which I am not on AT ALL, but their signature pants are the 3rd Avenue pant which is low rise/straighter leg and the 7th Avenue pant which is a midrise/flare (I think) and these two pants came in different colors, lengths and material (material is super important).

Their customer service was also on point. The security guard even spoke when I came in. The sales associate wasn't as knowledgeable as I would have liked her to be, but she was extremely helpful. She was actually only unsure about one thing, but you know I set the bar high. Please believe if I was working at a retail store right now I could give you a dissertation about the cut, fit, material and pricing options for any item in the store.

Also in NY&Co's favor is the price of the pants. They were 1/3 of what the Club Monaco pants cost and with sales and coupons they were 1/6 of what the Club Monaco pants costs. (That's right I got about 50%off) Woo Hoo!!!

The only thing I didn't like about the pants were the inseam. Their "average" inseam seemed a bit short for me to wear a 3-inch heel with. I bought the tall and am just going to have it tailored. A small price to pay for a perfect fit.

Last, but certainly not least NY&Co is practical. I believe the pants I bought are machine washable and I used to shop there in high school, so I know the clothes last long (b/c I have a couple of pair of jogging pants from "Lerner NY" that are still going strong). Yes, high school.

It makes perfect sense that two accountants (money savvy folks who have to wear dressier clothes than the rest of us to work everyday) recommended NY&Co. Thanks to K to the and @Lezlie27 (Lez also sent me that coupon).

This post is completely pointless (since everyone isn't shaped like me and will inevitably like different pants than I do), but I feel like it's good information, so if for nothing else this will serve as an archive for me when I'm in the market again.

I hope you enjoyed and I'll still post in the morning.
P.S. I have to find a new blog template. I don't think I said that much, but this post looks a million miles long.

Feel Your Boobies!!!

The blog was so heavy last week, I just wanted to liven it up a bit today. In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I'm encouraging all women to feel themselves up, also known as a breast self exam. :)

If you need a refresher on how to properly check for abnormalities go here.

Oh, and since we're talking about breasts again, I went and got fitted and the VS lady said I'm right between a 36B and a 34C. I was like "BITCH PLEASE, I'm not a 34 or a C... but go get one I want to see if it fits." LOL! I always thought C was the perfect cup size and I also thought I was very far from it, so I was kind of giddy.

Anyway, since I'm in between I'm going to stick with the 36B and they showed me how to get a better fit. Apparently having your strap ride up your back with your breast pointed down like torpedoes is the WRONG way to wear a bra.

And just in case you need a tutorial (something for the ladies and the fellas today).

Friday, October 16, 2009

Stop The Violence: Part 3

So you know how I feel about failed solutions from Part 1. You know what actually happened (or what people are saying happened) from Part 2.

Here's my thought process on a solution:

I have to be the change I wish to see in the world.

The kids' parents are complaining that their kids were just protecting themselves. I've heard this argument over and over again. Trying to show culpability to a parent who thinks it's ok for their child to kill rather than be killed is like trying to get Kim Kardashian to date a white man. It's not going to happen.

The kids' teachers are busy. Their classrooms have too many kids already. Not only do they have to make sure they kids meet certain test requirements so the schools don't get funding cut further, but they also have to deal with the students who are only half of what they should be (physically, emotionally, mentallly, educationally) because they're not getting good guidance at home. (For whatever reason, I'm not passing judgment on the parents).

"Community leaders" can't do it because let's be honest if they could, they would have by now. Also, self-appointed leaders are mostly talk anyway.

Community organizatons are actually doing a good job, IMO. All kids in Chicago are actually not bad. All kids in bad neighborhoods are not in bad situations, but there are not enough people at community organizations to get through to everyone. Some youth have slipped between the cracks. And that's where I come in.

I've been talking about mentoring for some time now. There are financial and time sacrifices that I'm going to have to make to do it. I don't drive, I'm going to have to be on the bus to see my mentee through rain, sleet or snow, but I HAVE to do it.

I absolutely have no other choice. So I'm giving myself 7 days from the date of this post to drop my name in the hat for a mentoring organization and sign up to make a real difference. I think mentoring is the answer to the problem because you have to show people another way, if you want them to change.

And I know common sense and logic would say you need to source the problem to fix it. But here's how I see it: if both sides of a street are dirty all I can do is pick up the trash in front of my house. Even if trash is there every day.

Before picking it up
- I could send out a research team to figure out why my yard is dirty.
- I could wait to see people drop stuff in my yard then reprimand them for doing a bad job in the HOPES that they would stop.
- I could call streets and sanitation and ask them to clean it up.
- I could call the police to report the people who are dropping trash in my yard, wait for the authorities to reprimand them in the HOPES that they don't do it again and in the hopes that no other person starts dropping trash in my yard.
- OR I could just pick it up.

For all the kids dying in Chicago, I'm just going to pick it up. I'll let everyone else do the research and the talking and the organizing and everything. I'm just gonna get my yard clean, so I can go to work.

So that's my big whopping conclusion. Clean up T's side of the street and don't worry about what folks are doing on their side of the street. You were expecting a 10-point plan huh, NOPE.

Can you imagine if everyone you knew mentored a child. What a difference that would make. I'm sad it had to come to this to get me involved with the babies, but I'm excited for the possibilities. Big ups to so many of my friends who are already mentoring. You all are my inspiration.

(P.S. I'm working on some other long term projects, but I CAN make a difference right now through mentoring. And I will.)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Stop The Violence: Part 2 (Cont.)

(Yesterday's post was so long, so I broke it up). Sorry... I have a lot to say. Read yesterday's here first.


A day or so after the killing, the mother of one of the boys who was charged with the murder said her son has been fighting for his life for the past three years. (Why didn't you take him out of that school then, ma'am?) She said "with all due respect to his family" Derrion may not have been as innocent as the media is painting him out to be because you can see him in the video throwing a punch and that if her sons had not of fought they may be dead right now (I'm paraphrasing).

Then yesterday I saw a newspaper article with a boy who was in the fight and got his eye busted out saying the fight was between the kids from Altgeld Gardens and kids from the "Ville." (The Ville is in Chicago's Roseland neighborhood, where big Mike hails from, the hood of all hoods, it's worst than the west side and don't let Big Mike tell you different, ok let me be serious). Kids from the gardens had to start going to Fenger after Chicago made their neighborhood school, Carver, a military academy. Kids from Fenger don't like kids from the Gardens. Kids from the Gardens claim kids from Fenger start stuff with them and vice versa. (Sound like Houston and New Orleans after Katrina doesn't it?)

So as these kids from the Gardens are walking to their bus stop, they're being chased by kids from Fenger who ultimately want them to un-enroll from Fenger. And according to sources the chasing, almost fighting and actual fighting happens daily. So as to say "my impoverished neighborhood is better than your impoverished neighborhood."

Then today (the day I wrote this anyway) I saw a story on the news that said the parents of the kids from Altgeld Gardens marched (of all things to damn do) to Carver Academy to demand that their kids be let into the school (which didn't work). THEN they marched to Fenger to demand that their kids be let OUT of the school (which also didn't work). What happened is that another fight broke out. Yup, kids from Fenger started fighting parents of the Altgeld Gardens kids. (from what I can make out from the video and news reports)

It's like the blind leading the blind, which is exactly the problem. I'm not judging the parents. No one deserves to have their kids in a dangerous situations. I'm just making a point you can't you can't build without tools. Marches are not change agents in 2009. How can a march, some Walgreens posterboard signs, screaming and a megaphone convince a young man or woman that they have a future.It can't.

But I can.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Stop The Violence: Part 2

Today's post is long, but it's such a necessary to understand the turn of events in Chicago and to understand tomorrow's post.

***UPDATE*** It was TOO long. I broke it up into two posts.

Derrion Albert got beat to death blocks away from Fenger HS. The video posted, went viral, went around the world. I'm going to be honest (because I can do that here), I didn't think it was that bad. Of course, I've seen beatings on Youtube before, I watched all 6 seasons of the Wire and I HEAR about these beatings taking place all the time, they just don't usually come with live video. I, like many other people, am desensitized to the violence. To tap into it would be too painful given how often this happens in the Chi. They also didn't show the most graphic part of the beating out of respect for his family. I could probably find it online if I looked, but I don't want to see it.

When the news hit jaded Chicagoans reminded each other that he wasn't the only kid that had been killed this year, that month, that week and probably not even that day. (Instead of mobilizing to do something). Young unfocused people got together all over the city to talk about what we could do. Older people marched and talked on Sunday televisions shows. CNN aired the clip. Don Lemon and Anderson Cooper asked what's going on in Chicago.

Everyone formed an opinion. It's the schools, it's the lack of police, it's the teachers, it's the parents, it's the church or lack thereof. Everyone was at Fenger HS the next day and the news anchors would say "Why are you here?" and the preachers, activists, aldermen and community leaders would say "To Help." (No action plan, no steps, just "to help").

Mark Kirk, an IL congressman got on TV and said that the GDs are the problem, being the largest gang in Chicago and all. And Derrion got beat because he didn't want to join a gang, he didn't want to pick a side. [not true] The anchor asked him what to do and he said send money to Illinois to take down the head of the gang. Again, does no one watch The Wire? What happens when you take a gang head down... another one emerges. Someone has to see the drugs.

Side note: In Chicago they say EVERYTHING is gang related. It's not. If a kid gets killed by police the news anchors will say "We don't know if this was gang related." Well if you don't know why are you commenting on it. Because people think that gang member get what they have coming. So if you say a child was a gang member it can make people feel better about the fact that a child was killed.

I digress.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Stop The Violence: Part 1

I went long enough without saying something, but you all know I've got to talk about this violence in Chicago. I guess I'm going to dedicate a couple of posts to it because I've got a lot to say. Today will be the basics on how I FEEL about all the violence and the "reaction" to the violence.

1. I hate when people call crime "black-on-black." Aren't most crimes committed by people of the same race (unless it's a hate crime). When Columbine happened no one called it white-on-white crime. I just want people to think before they speak. Would you rather it be black-on-white crime. How is calling a crime black-on-black adding to or detracting from the story. I just don't see the point of using that phrase.

2. Marches do not now, nor have they ever changed anything. The action that people take before and after marches is what makes a real difference. More on this tomorrow...

3. I want people to stop fucking complaining. Yes, I completely spelled out the f-word and I completely meant all seven letters of that filthy word because that's how I feel right now. When people in Chicago don't get help, they complain. When help comes to Chicago, they complain that help didn't come quick enough or it's the wrong kind of help or it's not ennough help or worst that it's just for publicity, which leads me to my next point.

4. STOP LOOKING FOR HELP. It's not coming. I'm definitely feeling the pull yourself up by your bootstrap argument in this case. If our moms ever taught us anything, they taught us "if you want something done right you have to do it yourself." Embrace that cliche, proverb, whatever you want to call it. It's true. The government, the church, the schools, not even the parents are going to swoop in and fix this right away.

5. STOP SCREAMING ON TV. Get a hold of your got damn emotions. No one wants to talk to your anger. They want to talk to you - a cool, calm, collected individual with common sense and critical thinking ability. If you lack any of these you aren't worth having a conversation with. Use language as a weapon, not raised voices and angry pitches. You look a mess and no ones listening once you start hollering.

6. Do something NOW. I mean do anything. If you can't do what you want to do, donate money to an agency who is doing something. If you have a plan that's going to take a while to implement, talk to a little cousin, brother, niece, nephew. Parent a child that's not yours, mentor. Something. Because all of this talking is making me weak.

And the news isn't getting any better, more on that tomorrow

Monday, October 12, 2009

What Ever Happened to...

A quick google search would tell me what I want to know about these people, but that's too much work. I feel like they should still be relevant enough to be on Twitter or picked up by the entertainment blogs and tabloids, but nope, they've fallen off the face of the planet.

10. Ol boy that played Hakim on Moesha
***Update*** Lamont Bentley, who played Hakim on Moesha died in 2005 in a motorcycle accident. Either YBF wasn't created then or I had my head under a rock because I had no idea. Be careful out there kids, 31 is way too early to die. R.I.P. Hakim!

9. Chef G. Garvin (He was so popular one year 2007 I think, then he fell off the face of the planet. Chef G., if you need a publicist... I got you!)
8. Iyanla Vanzant
7. Vivian Green
6. Dave Hollister
5. Amerie (Yeah, I know she has something out now, but why does she always have to make a comeback. She's not even that old. Where do you go for years at a time Amerie and then come back with the same exact song you have two years ago?)
4. Teddy Riley
3. Lela Rochon
2. Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway
1. Kelly Price

Friday, October 9, 2009

[Dumb] Quotes

"So what do you have going [on] this weekend?"

At 9:45 p.m. on a Saturday night...

Really bruh? The weekend is damn near over and if I had something going on past 9:46 on Saturday, but before 9 a.m. on Monday, please believe, it's not going to include you.

Needless to say, I didn't respond.

Hopefully this nonsense won't repeat this weekend. Happy a great weekend everyone!!!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

How to be an inventor

1. Find a need that is not being met.
2. Create a product that "fills" that need it.
3. Sell it.

I present to you Booty Pop.

Yes, ladies Miracle Bra gave you a fake cup size and booty pop gives you a dunk.

I'm not even mad at it, but the man trying to *Sir Mixalot voice* "get witcha" is going to be pissed when your pants drop and your booty's flatter than the plains.

At least when a brother gets with me, he KNOWS my tail is flat. Well, actually they say... uh... nevermind.

So yeah, ladies, if want to fill those jeans out and don't care about lying to men (and yo-self) then go to and get your push-up drawers!

H/T to Big Mike for sending this to me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Women's Health

So I was walking to Subway to get a $5 footlong on a brisk Saturday morning looking and feeling a HAM in Lakeview and someone in a pink shirt asks me if I had a few minutes for women's health. My reply was short "Does it involve money?" She put her little tablet away and said no, it can be about education today. I was like cool, I like education.

Basically some versions of the new health care reform bill are trying to cut women's health care out. Though many people think of Planned Parenthood as an abortion clinic, it actually acts as the main healthcare provider for many women for services such as pap smears, mammograms, contraception and I'm sure a host of other things.

You may want to reach out to your state reps and let them know that you think women's healthcare is important and you won't support any bill that cuts it out. IMO, if ANYTHING should be covered in healthcare reform, women's health should be top of the list. (Becuase you know these fools are going to keep covering Viagra).

Planned Parenthood has a pretty extensive site dedicated to the cause. Check it out here. And please check out the Conservatives arguments for wanting to remove Planned Parenthood as well, so you can make informed decisions. If the the election of the President taught us anything, it should have taught us that we have a voice and our opinions matter. I hope you'll reach out to a legislator to make a difference (even if you disagree with me).

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I'm Low Key Crazy

If you had to live inside my head you'd go nuts. I'm smart. I know I'm smart, but my brain acts like a catty little teenager sometimes (Stacey Dash in Clueless anyone).

Well, these are some senseless things that the catty teen in my head thinks from time to time (though the sophisticated adult in me knows better).

- People with square wedding bands/engagement rings are definitely going to get divorced before it's all over
- Women with chipped nail polish are not to be trusted (like, at all)
- Girls with crusty feet are either hoes or have dirty houses (or both)
- When a woman wears pearls with casual clothes, she's trying to hide a personality flaw
- My female managers that wear eyeliner and mascara's opinions are more credible than the ones who don't. How can you value the opinion of someone with sunken in eyes?

In my defense, I don't ACT on these thoughts. I just think them. Don't judge me, I can't help it.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Question For The Ladies

Time for a little girltalk, sorry fellas.

Am I the only one who's bra is trying to kill her at about 3 p.m. every day? Everyday when I get home from work, I pop the clasp immediately just so I can breathe. Hell, sometimes I do it during the day. I wonder if I need to go into Victoria's Secret and get remeasured.

I'm a member of the IBTC, so I can't see why this is happening. I'm only a 36B. If there was a "36A and a half" that'd probably be more fitting. I feel like it'd be silly for me to wear 38B (No diss anyone). 38 just doesn't seem like a measurement that would descibe my small frame.

I remember when I went from a 34B to a 36B. I was shocked. Like why the hell is my back stretching (Because it's not like the girls are getting any bigger)?

The main [read: actual] problem is I don't want to have to start from scratch with new bra/panty sets. ARGH!!!

Is anyone else being choked by her bra?

Friday, October 2, 2009

Don't Forget

I'm walking for charity tomorrow in the freezing Chicago weather (not quite freezing, but a high of 55).

Donate Now!!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Beware: "Card Services"

I was at work minding my own business and I got a call from a recording talkin' 'bout: The new laws due to the stimulus package can lower your credit card APR to 4.9%. I didn't quite catch the company name, but I pressed the button to talk to a real live person.

A rude African-American male on the other end, greeted me. I said where are you calling from, he said Card Services. I said the name of your company is "Card Services"? And you're not calling from any company in particular? He's like no.

I said I'm confused. He literally said, I don't see what you don't understand.

I'm like ok then, give me your schpiel (how do you spell that word anyway). He starts reading a script and then he said how much do you have on your cards and what are their interests rates, so we can see if we can help you.

Now, I know what you're thinking, Tea, you should have hung up two sentences ago. But I REALLY wanted to see what he was talking about and there wasn't any harm in giving balances and rates to a stranger (with no identifying info attached). Sallie Mae also has my work number instead of my home number, so I was hopeful that "Card services" had gotten my number for a legit source and that it was the real deal. So I gave him some balances... And he was like, oh you don't qualify, you're not paying that much in interest.

So I was like well if I DID qualify, who are you again? He was like oh no, you don't qualify, so that's it. (Like the conversation was over because he was done... he doesn't know me that well). So I'm like did you say it was a new federal law? Can I call my CC directly and get this low rate? I mean, help a sister out.

*insert gay man who's trying to act like he's straight voice* No ma'am. I. did not. SAY anything about the federal government, we are calling from CARD SERVICES.

Tea: So... How did you get my number again?
Decepticon: *Huffs* From Experian.
Tea: So Experian just gave you my number?
Down low brother: Yes!
Tea: Ok then, can you put me on your do not call list?
Real&Chance sounding dude: Click.

I wish I'd written down the number on my caller ID to report these fools. When I got home I checked and sure enough, it's a scam. I used to be a telemarketer, so I know it's a law that when someone says put me on your do not call list, they have to take your name and phone number and possibly do a recording.

Scamming rat bastards!

Beware peeps. Don't give your credit card numbers or personal info to anyone over the phone, especially if they call you.