Friday, May 29, 2009

Tea's Got Jokes

I've been watching the NBA playoffs by myself, sitting in the house having ALL kinds of jokes. Here are a couple of things I noticed...

Might be funny to you, might not, but I was amused.

1. I wish someone would give Sasha Vujacic a rattail comb so he can fix that makeshift part in his head.

2. In Game 4 of the Cavs Magic match-up did anyone else notice my man at the score table with the Coogi Sweater on?

3. Why do the NBA players look like etch and sketches gone wrong. Tat, tat, tatted up!!!

4. Speaking of tats, is there a tattoo mimimum to be in the NBA? I'm thinking if you have a tat, you have to get at least three at a time and you get a bonus for having tats on your neck.

5. Why when they announced Nene did he not have a first and/or last name. They're like Kobe Bryant, Derek Fischer and Nene... Is Nene his only name? I KNOW they have last names in Brazil... WTH. This dude must've been around since bible times with no last name. SMH.

6. Why does Craig Sager wear suits like every day is Easter Sunday or Men's Sunday at a Southern Baptist Church. I couldn't even talk to him if I was a player. I'd be like my bad dude, your suit is blinding me.

Happy Friday!!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009


"He got that foul because he's Kobe. He's in a different foul bracket than Carmelo."
- My cousin explaining to me why Kobe gets so many shots... because the refs have a favorite team too. (I effing HATE the Lakers, mainly because of Kobe, but mostly because I ride the CTA, not bandwagons)

Side note: I love to hear pretty girls curse. I know that's weird, but it's so ironic and I happen to be a pretty girl who (on occasion) curses like a sailor, so I guess pretty women cursing validates my potty mouth. (Pray for me.) On to the quote...

"He fuckin' up. You don't turn off no damn Too Short at a party. That's fuckin' DJ-ing 101."
- One of my beautiful girls, commenting on the wackness of a DJ

"Where were you such that it impeded you being with me at a time designated to be with me?"
Overheard... but don't you just love how she so eloquently stated: "Where the f#$% were you?"

"I mean, I just don't know too many positions a straight man would be in for someone to be able to kiss him in the back of his neck like that."
thummyb, on how ridiculous Kenyon Martin's tattoo of Trina's lips on the back on his neck is

Disclaimer: I'm about to take y'all in a totally opposite direction with the next one, but it's a great quote nonetheless:

"If you love the Lord, the roaches in your homes will know it"
- Preacher at AFC, when Dr. Smith was out of town. Oh Lord, I couldn't stop laughing at this dude.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Kobe & Lebron Puppets

These jumpoffs are HILARIOUS!!! I think they're narrated by Katt Williams and Keenan Thompson... I could be wrong.

Best lines:
And this is my problem?
You got to be hungry, Lebron... I'm talkin' bout stomach growlin!!!
Why do we live together?
Who's asking these questions?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tea's Tangents

Hope you all had a good long weekend. Here are some tangents to kick your short week off right!

1. Is George Lopez's wife's voice [on the show] not the most irritating thing you've ever heard in your life? I love watching the re-runs of George Lopez, but I swear if I had a stay-at-home wife that nagged like she did, she'd have to get a job... and add a little base to her voice. UGH!

2. Have you seen that dumb ass T-mobile commercial where the woman cuts down all the telephone lines to promote the fact that people don't need landlines anymore. I'm turning into a cranky old woman because I was screaming at the TV thinking about how irresponsible that commercial is.

3. Speaking of irresponsibility and commercials, aren't the buy now, pay later commercials the most disgusting display of irresponsibility you've seen in a long time? HELLO, abusing credit got us into this crisis.

4. I have been so unbearably busy at work that this is the third day in a row I've forgotten to eat breakfast. Ironic isn't it, that instead of stopping what I'm doing to go get breakfast, I ran over to teaandsuch to speak on it. It's now 10:32, so it makes no sense to eat breakfast. I may as well wait an hour and a half and just eat lunch. My body is not happy about this. Tea does not miss her breakfast.

5. Do you ever tumble dry your clothes on low. ALL my clothes say tumble dry low, but if I do that I'm going to have to dry my loads twice. Do you think the clothes dryer industry and clothing manufacturers are in business together trying to get you to spend more money (The same way shampoo companies say repeat when they know good a well one wash is enough). I'm just sayin'

6. Memo
Attn: New Dude
Subject: Caking
What I'm NOT gone do is text you all day like we've been dating for years. I just met you... be easy.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Tea's Top 10: Random Things about France

I could talk for another week about France, but I'll wrap it up today lest I bore you to death. Here's a Tea's Top 10 random things I wanted to note about my recent trip to France.

Ok, it's 11... sorry.

11. When we were in the airport in France the voiceover was in English with a thick Indian accent and it would say "XX airline is paging Mr. Smith. You are delaying the flight. Please report to XX flight. If you don't, we will proceed to offboard your luggage."

I'm sorry, that's funny as all get out!!!

Comparing France to Spain

10. The main similarities I saw between France and Spain were the size of the streets. Very narrow and the cars were small and narrow. In old Aix En Provence (where most of the restaurants and shops are) cars drove through the same streets people walked in. In Bilbao in the old section with super narrow streets, it was just foot traffic.

9. In Spain everyone lives in an apartment, like NYC. The homes costs a stupid amount of money to buy (figuratively and literally), so the wealthy own apartments, not homes. I noticed a great deal of homes in France, so maybe the cost of living is cheaper there than in Spain.

8. The dollar is weak. Oh, it's so irritating. At the airport I got 65 Euros for $100. In France I got about 73 Euros $100. I didn't do any shopping ['cause I didn't budget for a shopping type of a trip] but if I had, I'd be sick about it.

Remaining Tangents

7. There were street markets everyday. Books, fresh food, clothes, jewelry, olive oil, jellie and jams, etc, etc. My items at the street markets were [what appeared to be handblown] glass and lots of woodwork. I don't know if there's a surplus of wood or something over there, but they incorporated wood into a LOT of jewelry and trinkets (think cedar boxes and wooden frames, etc). Again, I didn't really buy anything, but it was nice to look at.

6. Everyone everywhere wants to learn how to speak English if they don't know it already. I don't speak any French, but could understand some writing since I speak Spanish. Thummyb took French in high school, but has never been immersed in French speaking culture to become fluent. Kismet has learned enough since she's been in France, but is studying history, not language, so there was a bit of a barrier.

The biggest problem is that when people notice your American accent trying to speak French they AUTOMATICALLY start speaking English. It's kind of cool to know you speak the premier language, but it definitely makes me want to step by language game up. At any moment, the premier language could change and it may not be to English or Spanish. Chinese anyone?

5. They put mayonaisse on fries. I was at a restaurant and he asked if I wanted mayo or ketchup and I said yes. So thummyb is like you want both and I'm like, I guess. I didn't want to take the time to try to figure out how to tell him I actually only wanted ketchup. I tried to eat the mayo on those fries. EW. It tastes like hot gah-bage.

4. I had a French guidebook that said Aix in Provence is unashamedly bourgeois. Go figure.

3. We took a day trip to Marseille and it's the big city. Aix En Provence is like Chicago's Oak Park or Manhattan's Brooklyn. It stands on it's own, but the big city is really Marseille. It was much more diverse than Aix, which was a relief. In Aix, there seemed to just be a lot of different shades of white with a few black sprinkles, in Marseille there were people of all different shades of white, black and brown. There were also a decent amount of fully covered Muslim women (I'm assuming the full garb indicates they were Muslim).

2. We spent a great deal of time walking and lounging. We spent a lot of time on a main Avenue called Mirabeau (or something like that) in Aix. We called it the catwalk because it was where everyone came to stunt. Oh, the messes we spotted watching people on the catwalk. We also saw a lot of superfly cars driving down the catwalk. Unlike in America, where guys try to act like they don't notice you looking, the French dudes were looking side to side like "You see me?... YEAH... You see me!" LOL!

1. Speaking of walking, Kismet went to get some work done one day, so thummyb and I were left to our own devices for the majority afternoon. We ate lunch, explored the neighborhood, took tons of pics and did a great deal of window shopping. We'd also set my travel clock to the wrong hour, so we were essentially an hour early at the meeting spot waiting for Kismet. Sitting on a quiet bench in a foreign country with my best friend, on a warm windy day, with a water fountain in front of me and a restaurant behind me, I-an always alert city girl-heard nothing but the sound of serenity and fell asleep on the street. That's how great this trip was.

On that note, I'll end the recap. Hope you enjoyed it!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

French Food

Fresh food/baked goods: All the French food was super fresh. There were a lot of bodegas and farmer's markets. I didn't see any big grocery stores. I did however, see bakeries, bakeries and tons of bakeries. Oh Lord, I was in heaven. There were different things at the same bakeries every day because everything was so fresh. Our favorite bakery was 24-hours. My favorite were the fresh fruit tortes. A.MA.ZING!

Meal Times: The French are real serious about their meal times. We were never up and about quite early enough for breakfast, but lunch is from noon to 2 p.m. at most places and noon to 3 or 4 in other places. If you want something to eat between 4 and 7, you're pretty much S.O.L. or restricted to the corner places that have food all day (think meal carts in NYC) or this one chain called Jacob's.

Paninis: I had a real panini. Now, for the record, I typically don't like paninis. They seem like soggy smushed bread with icky meat and cheese. Even breakfast paninis seem to be dripping with grease on soggy and just plain horrible-tasting to me. But I learned that real panini bread looks like a baguette before it's put into a panini press. Then they give you the scorching hot footlong sandwich in a paper bag and you eat it walking down the street. It tastes SO much better than the counterfeit paninis I've had in the states.

Funniest Meal: We were chillin' at a diner, eating some Mousson Frites (mussels and fries=Provencal delicacy) and we look up and see two guys running at top speed, and a third guy close on the second guy's heels. I immediately thought they had grabbed someone's purse (or several people's purses) and were running from the cops. Then someone pointed out that the third guy was a waiter. White crisp shirt, black pants, of course! OMG, it was straight out of the scene of a movie. We couldn't see what ulimately happened, but the waiter was running so fast, I'm sure he caught the second guy. Wouldn't it suck to go to jail for stealing lunch?

By far, the best part of the story is someone, who I'll call the Matre D, comes jogging by with a pitcher of water in his hand, looking both ways anxiously about a good 2 or 3 minutes after we see the running spectacle. I guarantee you this dude is going to tell the story and say he had the waiter's back the whole time. Dude, you may as well have stayed at the restaurant, running that damn slow.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Fashion in Aix En Provence

Journal entry on fashion: "I absolutely love Zara. The clothes were pretty wack, but the shoe game is SERIOUS! Now is as good a time as ever to talk about the fashion in Aix En Provence. I see a lot of leggings and free flowing 'shirts.' I see a lot of free flowing stuff in general. Stuff you're supposed to use a belt or big fashion accessory [with]. I don't like it for me because I need things to be defined. I need clean lines and things that pretty much match. They have these gladiator sandals that look like fences on your feet that everyone has... There are also fun fashion things with scarves, but not as many as I expected to see.

Men wear a lot of Puma looking shoes, but they're Nike and Adidas brand... Men wear tight jeans, not skinny jeans though, just naturally tight... The main thing is that everyone just does their own thing. No one really looks like anyone else to me. I've seen some FLY heels. I've also seen a lot of kitten heels with a strap around the ankle , boots and skirts or boots and shorts are popular.

We saw a girl with a fleece pineapple suit on in Zara. Complete with the hat."

****UPDATE**** The pineapple suit looked this, except with a brighter yellow fleece and a yellow hat with green at the top. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.

Random journal entry: "There were a lot of men wearing capris. That must be the hotness in France."

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

France and Such

I've been struggling with how to write about France. It was such a great experience that I didn't want to just hastily recap it and make it seem like I didn't have the time of my life. I'm going to just write and see what comes up and then I'll break my stream of consciousness up over the next couple blog posts.

I journaled while I was in France, so I might bless you all with some of my uncensored thoughts from my journal.


Background: Kismet was doing research in the South of France for her dissertation. Yeah, my girl's ABD (all but dissertation), which means when she gets done with her research and presents her dissertation, we'll be calling her Dr. Kismet. Amazing, isn't it? Anywho... right before she left she extended an invitation to come and stay with her during her three-month research trip. Thummyb and I, never ones to shy away from a fab getaway, checked flight information and booked ASAP, taking advantage of [relatively] cheap prices to Europe and that free lodging with Kismet.

We've both been to Europe once before. I to Spain for study abroad and Thummyb to Rome for vacay. We spent a great deal of our time comparing France to Spain and Italy, more on that later.

We flew into Marseille and stayed in Aix En Provence, which is about 30 minutes away.

Funny side note: When I said I'm going to France, people automatically assumed I was going to Paris and most people said "Have so much fun in Paris" or "Enjoy Paris." It's like if you say you're going to Arizona, people just assume you're going to Phoenix. Hilarious.

Pre-trip journal entry: "I'm on a KLM flight to Amsterdam. I'm on my way to Marseille, France to visit [Kismet]... I don't know what I expect in France. Well, I expect good cheese, bread, olive oil and dessert. I expect people to be dressed Bohemian chic. I expect stuff to be expensive. I expect people to talk really low and I expect to not understand much... I expect to have a relaxing fun time."

Keep reading below for the first funny France story. I had to break up the long posts.

American Airlines Anyone?

One thing we noted right away is that the European flight attendants are much nicer than American flight attendants. They're always smiling and they seem to want to make sure you enjoy your experience whereas American flight attendants seem to want to make sure you have the safest experience possible.

A funny little situation happened on our flight from Amsterdam to Marseille. One man who spoke English was sitting with two women who do not speak English IN THE EXIT ROW. Now, it's airline policy that anyone sitting in the exit row has to speak English. The plane won't take off until this happens. Dude was clearly offended that his travel partners had to move and to complicate things he was afraid to have his guests be far from him since they don't speak English and wouldn't know what was going on in the case of emergency (Ironic... I know).

He kept saying, why do you have to speak English to open the door. There are pictures, we know how to open the door and I can tell them.

The European flight attendants were all smiles and giggles trying to explain this mess and get the man's buy-in. Wouldn't have gone down like that in America. It would have been like "Sir, you and your party need to get up now and if you don't, we'll consider you a hostile passenger group, at which point you can all get off the plane, go back through TSA and perhaps have to take the Amtrak to wherever the hell you're going. mm.kay!?!"

Now, me and thummyb (thummyb especially) are sitting one row behind this fool, going "Aw hell naw. I am NOT flying with this dude having to translate emergency procedures [which will be delivered in English] to his non-English speaking travel party. Nope, aintgonebeabletadoit!!!"
Thankfully, the lady sitting next to us noticed us speaking English and suggested to this dude (in French) that his guests just switch places with us so they'll only be one row away from each other.

Only after this happened, did the plane take off.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Perfect Sunday

Yesterday was an absolutely perfect Sunday. The only thing that could have made it better is if I'd spent it with family or if a football game had been on. (Man, I cannot wait until football season).

8:45 a.m. - Early morning church service at AFC... yeah, I was 45 minutes late, but I praised with the radio in the Zipcar on the way there and I still got the word :)
10:30 a.m. - Finally dropped off two bags of clothes at the Salvation Army (Amen for spring cleaning!)
11 a.m. - Randomly checked out some Lakeview apartments (Given some recent news at work, I'm going to postpone my purchasing aspirations for a couple of years... thinking about upgrading the apartment though. You all know my mind often changes at a moment's notice, so don't hold me to any of this.)
12 p.m. Shoe shopping! Still searching for a practical wedge and flat...
Sometime between 12 and 2:32: Encountered a cutie.
2:33 p.m. Bought two pairs of FLAWLESS wedges at DSW. I absolutely love shoes... like almost as much as I love cake and you KNOW how much I love cake.
Wedge # 1 Black leather peep toe mary jane sling back wedges... they give me shivers.
Wedge # 2 Cocoa patent leather t-straps with brown thread stitching detail, a gold buckle and a straw-colored wicker wedge. (Yes, wicker like summer chairs). AWESOME!

I can explain what they look like, but I cannot explain to you the bliss I experienced when I found these shoes. Perhaps this clip will sum it up:

3 p.m. Washed three loads of clothes with minimal problems in the laundry room/got caught up on Tea & Such for the week
6:30 Magic-Celtics game/Catching up on thummyb's hood activities at the Green Dolphin
9:30 p.m. Prayed and meditated for a serene week
10:30 p.m. Packed for Cincinnati. I'm going for like 18 hours after work today. I literally forgot I was going and was about to go to sleep when it occurred to me that I have something to do Monday evening... like take a plane to another city. :-/

Hope you had a fabulous weekend too!

Coming up this week: France recap (Finally!!!)

Friday, May 15, 2009

What's Good For The Weekend?

Hey folks,

No time to write a post today, but I'll do a quick question of the day. What are your plans for the weekend?

I'm volunteering for the Chicago Women's AIDS Project Annual conference all day Saturday, followed by my niece's pool party/sleepover in the 'burbs. On Sunday, I'm going to church, maybe hit the gym for some yoga or pilates and sequestering myself in the house for some serious much-needed, well-deserved and long overdue R&R.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Do You See What I See: CTA Bus Edition

What in the fried hair hell is this? I know what you're thinking, it was time for a perm, an edge-up, maybe it was raining and she forgot her frizz-be-gone. No, family, there are no excuses for this madness...
And I'm about to blow your mind: This is a white woman.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Get Hype Songs

Work is driving me crazy (I don't even want to discuss it). These are the get hype songs I play to keep me from going postal in this piece... in random order

Turn My Swag On - Souljah Boy
Paper Planes - M.I.A.
Blow the Whistle - Too Short
When I grow Up - Pussycat dolls
You Can Hate Me Now - Nas
If (Ti) Ruled the World - Nas feat. Lauryn Hill
The Party Life - Jay-Z
Nike Boots - Wale

What are your favorite get hype songs?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


France stuff coming up later in the week (hopefully). In the meantime the amount of quotables in the last few weeks have been outrageous. Here are some of the ones I remember...

I'd just say "Baby, look to the left"
- Anonymous, on how Kevin Garnett doesn't need to be fine in the face

Pimpin' ain't easy, but it's under control.
- Kismet, commenting on my dating life

Live your best life, B*tch!
- Yours truly, having an Oprah-like discussion with Thummyb and Kismet

Damn girl, you thick as hell
- My guy to me from behind at the club. He was clearly joking. I was, indeed, amused.

I just feel like it's irresponsible to be f*uckin' when you're homeless.
- Yours truly again, saying what other folks were thinking, but didn't want to say out loud

I'm back like I never left
- 4S

I'm back like I forgot something
- Lil Wayne, Let it Rock

Just because you have a lot of pictures with girls, doesn't mean you're not sleeping with men.
- Yours truly again (I had some good ones this week), commenting to 4S about all the DL brothers on facebook

Wow, everyone from the club is here.
- NYC homie commenting on the patrons at White Palace Grill, LMAO!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Why is this so difficult?

So when I got back from France it was officially spring in the Chi. I know where most of you live it's been spring for a while, but Chicago only does summer and winter, so this spring thing caught me by surprise. I took a look around and realized my closet is looking rather wack as far as spring looks go as well.

So I head to Nordstrom and Macy's to do some damage in the shoe department. I was looking for a neutral flat everyday shoe that's not a flip-flop and a black wedge casual shoe that would work with jeans and tanks as well as summer dresses.

I was quite disappointed with the selection. What does a sister have to do to find a summer shoe that's not:

- A peep toe boot
- A gladiator sandal (which could also look like a peep toe boot)
- A wedge platform
- A wedge platform with leather on the top and cork on the bottom (for the record I tried these on and the look HOT, but what do I look like wearing She-Ra sandals to work everyday?)
- A wedge platform espadrille with leather on the top (who thinks of this stuff?)
- Flat with ZERO support for your arch or
- Just plain ugly

Needless to say, I was unsuccessful in my search for a casual shoe, but I am the new proud owner of these delicious Michael Kors bad boys! YESSIR!!!

P.S. I got these a size bigger than the photo. Can't have my toes all scrunched up like an accordion.

How's your summer shopping going?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mergers and Acquistions

[Question of the day is] Did you all know Northwest and Delta merged? I didn't find this out until the flight I was taking home from Amsterdam (I had a connect from France) was a Delta flight, not Northwest or KLM (Northwest's Dutch partner airline). Then I looked it up and apparently the merger happened on October 29, 2008. I don't exactly keep my ear to the ground about mergers and acquisitions, but I DO watch the news and read the newspaper regularly and I don't remember reading about this AT ALL.

It's like the two companies are trying to keep it quiet OR the news doesn't think it's newsworthy, both options are bananas. Northwest also just merged with America West ("just" meaning probably about two years ago).

As someone who travels a lot I just can't believe I missed this. At the end of the day, I just want to make sure all my frequent flyer miles are accounted for.

There were also jobs saved and created because of the merger, so I'm happy about that too. :)

Coming up next week: France recap and maybe some photos. Have a great weekend!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Happy Friday!

I'm in France on vacation right now and I'll probably be using my pennies on good cheese, bread, olive oil, sweets and libations. I doubt I'll be hitting up internet cafes much, so I won't be posting to teaandsuch until the end of next week.

Have a great weekend and week!