Read this first.
Of course, I got to talking to my homeboys, TT and 4S, about it later and they mentioned, as they've mentioned before, that while I'm a fun personable person once you get to know me, in a setting where a man has to approach me, I LOOK like the type of woman who's going to give him a twenty-page questionairre before giving out my phone number... Like the type of woman who'll shut a man down before he can even get a word out.
They said I have a "regal air" about me and most men in the places I go aren't looking for regal... In the words of Kanye on Extravaganza Tea's "talkin' bout I ain't like them other girls, Well tonight he's tryna find them other girls, Bring they own rubber girls, Never meet your mother girls, You know they love it when you love 'em when they tell they friends... GURL"
LOL! So the conclusion they came to is that the men who come at me are kinda soft because based on how I LOOK and act (like a professional woman with some damn sense), men think they have to be a certain type of guy to even approach me. And the type it appears I want is a soft, backboneless, button-upped, Bryant Gumbel, Carlton Banks type dude. When, in fact, I really need/want a mostly button-upped, but take-charge, put me in my place as necessary, might wear Timberlands and a white tee two weekends out of the month type dude.
Even with this new "information," about how I unintentionally come off to people, I have no desire to try to morph into M'adam Approachable. I just think it's downright hilarious that everyone from my mother to men I don't even know thinks that I have some unreasonable set of standards that doesn't even really exist.
I guess it could be worst... everyone could think I have no standards at all... Whatev.
Side note: TT and 4S said the first step is to becoming M'adam Approachable AND attracting the type of guy I need in my life is to get my cornrows back, buy a week's worth of Baby Phat jogging suits and just "be" on the south side for 7 straight days. *eyeroll* and Womp.