Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Standards? What Standards?

So I was with the family after my granddad's funeral, chillin', eating some fattening artery clogging delicious tasting wonderfulness (better known as soul food). So an aunt turns to me and is like so T, when am I going to have a nephew. Now my little brother has a baby girl on the way, so I thought she was asking when I was going to get pregnant. I was like, uh... I don't know... I was hoping it was a boy too. I already have two nieces.

Then my aunt looked at me sideways and was like while I'd love for you to get pregnant, I meant a nephew-IN-LAW. I gave her the shit face, tall eyebrow, smirky laugh and said I'll let you know when I find out. Surprisingly, I wasn't put off by the question, like I usually am.

But then, my cousin, who I love, who lives in Milwaukee and who I hang out with when she's in Chicago, looks at my auntie and says, you'll have a nephew-in-law when she relaxes those high ass standards that she has. So my mouth drops to the floor, like wait... where is this coming from? And I'm nervous laughing because I'm trying to remember if any guys approached me when I was with her or what I could have said or done to make her think that I had higher standards than most.

THEN my mom walks in. And my auntie hits my mom with the same question, when is T going to give me a nephew-in-law? My mom sighs the loudest most exxagerated sigh I've ever heard and says: You know, I just pray that God sends her someone that's up to par.

So I'm sitting there shocked and laughing, still in good spirits, but trying to figure out what exactly I did to make EVERYONE think I have an unreasonable set of standards (Thursday's post might be a good indication, but let me not digress).

So I start telling them how the Chicago Market is Tapped for men and cuzzo lets me know that in Milwaukee, it's not uncommon to date a guy for some years, break up with him, then date his brother, cousin, frat, uncle or other person who's close to him. I'm sorry, Tea just can't go out like that. I'm convinced there are more fish in the sea than THAT. And I'm a World Wide Woman, so plenty of good men are just one Ding away.

hmm... this is getting long... to be continued tomorrow.