Thursday, February 26, 2009

Seal the Deal

I've noticed lately that some men have a problem with sealing the deal. I'm sorry, I'm not going to throw you a bone, either. It's 2009. I'm grown. I only play games on Taboo night at B's or Wii night at R&P's. The point is... all my games are scheduled. If you want to show interest in me, you have to make it explicit, so I don't get my ego shattered on some "Oh I thought he liked me" type stuff.

On several recent occasions brothers have put signals out there that they're feeling me, but haven't taken the proper actions to seal the deal. Seriously, what's up with that? You either want to PLAN to do dinner or you don't. You either want to get a drink after work or you don't. The whole let me send a filler text message or facebook note is SO not what's up. Don't have your homeboy phone first to feel me out. Don't have someone ask me to add you as a facebook friend. Don't have people I don't know texting me your phone number.

Based on this post AND this post I guess I'm hard to approach. But if you actually approached me, you'd find out I'm really not asking for too much. While it's flattering to think that a guy needs to step it up to approach me, why in the name of everything that's right in the world would I want to date someone who's too intimidated to even step to me correctly?

Man up!

In the defense of all men, the young'uns have been getting good looks [lately] because [lately] they seem to have more gumption than a lot of men my age or older. I can't figure out why, but they're bringing their A game and I'm not gonna lie, I've got season tickets.

The moral of this story is brothers, if you're feeling her, please, just go ahead and seal the deal. Waiting on a woman to approach you after you've put feelers out is a punk move and if you try that with me, it'll just never happen. The worst outcome is that she explicitly tells you she's not interested, but at least you'd know for sure instead of having to stare at her awkwardly everytime you all see each other.


antithesis said...

so this is what i have to look forward to? like right now it's the aggressive unattractiveness and unflattering approach of unsavory characters. next i gotta play clue and password and sh*t? ugh!!!!!

ThummyB said...

I personally think that most guys are basically hedging their bets. They are trying to do just enough to 'get the drawers' w/o fully commiting.

They call at 8 PM to see if they can 'come over and chill'. If you say 'No' then they try a little more next at 6:30 PM to see if you want to do dinner at 7 PM. If you say 'No', then they have to consider 2 factors...1. How much do they really like you? and 2. Is there anyone else that they can get some from w/o all this extra effort? If they like you enough and/or they have no other options, then they might try to act right and call Monday for dinner on Friday.

BUUUT since so many chicks are out here on desperate, then it's easy to lose at factor #2.

Let's recall a recent scenario, shall we?

3AM text - "Hey, what's good? I really want to get to know you better. Can I come through and just chill?"

Response - "It's 3AM. If you truly want to get to know me, then give me a call in the morning, and we'll put something on the schedule."

3:05 AM Text - "Mos def."

...still waiting on that follow up call. We can assume that someone else said 'Yes'. WOMP!

TatooTuesday said...

Girls are saying "yes" at alarming rates. Why would I let a girl know that I'm really feeling her, so she can feel herself that much more and complicate the whole process of me courting her. Especially if another girl who is on her level, or better, is not going to make you work as hard. Plus you're not going to give her the satisfaction of saying "yeah dude was trying to get up with me." If you are possibly going to talk to her soror, girl from high school or college. Nope you want to leave it at we sent a few text messages back and forth nothing major. And leave it as the truth.

T said...

In case anyone out there is still listening...

@ thummyb, I feel you 110% on that. Everything you're saying is making sense about GTD. However, I need someone to explain to me about the brothers who don't even commit to the text message. Like why are you giving me googly eyes across the room and having your frat check to see if I need help making chex mix... nah, homie, I think I got it.

@ TT, you must be responding to thummyb's comment, because the dudes I'm referring to can't even make a concrete plan. I can't say yes if their punk asses can't even ask a question. But you are correct... the amount of yeses to dumb ass questions is alarming. Womp.

ThummyB said...

@ T...I'm dying at Chex Mix! LOL!

@ Tatoo...this brings me back to my Get the Drawers theory. If you're truly interest in someone, then eventually you HAVE to put yourself out there. Nothing serious will ever develop unles both ppl expose themselves as truly 'feeling' the other person. Only someone who doesn't see that in their future is concerned about 'protecting their reputation' and keeping things ambiguious.

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

This is so true. My sister deals with this all the time. It's like, why can't men simply let a woman know how they feel about her or if they're truly interested. It's really not that difficult.

TatooTuesday said...

See, this is a luxury that women have had for a long time. That time is now done! Women have been able to be the ones that sit back and wait for a guy to court them, pursue them and all that. But the tide has turned. Especially for the men in the demographic that a lot of ladies in our age group limit themselves to. So instead of us putting ourselves out there as we have in the past, granting the woman the power in the situation, we will put a feeler out there. If you're interested you'll return the feeler. If not, its enough of ya'll to go around. It's all about the ratio. And now we're winning. I've played this game before, not to the level of bitchassness these dudes have, but I've put a feeler out there to a girl who I was kinda interested in. If she wanted to sit on it then so be it. Didn't make me any, because as Kanye also said, "There's a thousand You's and only one of me..." Certain girls who I was feeling on another leverl, she gets the full treatment. But not the "kinda sorta feeling girls.". Ya'll get text messages and go betweens, lol!

ThummyB said...

Eh...whateva Tatoo :-P

If I recall correctly...when Ti was in DC last were on here talking about 'Niggas are the new B!tches'. Now here you are talking about putting out 'feelers', rather than just stepping to a woman directly for fear of rejection/vulnerability. Not a good look, homie.

I can see a dude half stepping b/c they don't give a damn about the chick...but b/c your azz doesn't want to take the lead. You're the MAN...that's your flippin' role. I'll tell you what, if you don't want to play that part from the beginning, then PLEASE don't come down the line and try to start stepping up.

'What did you say? You want to have the final say on how we allocate the money? You want to override a decision of mine on the grounds that you're the man of the house? Really? I missed that memo b/c last that I checked, you wanted to go in 50/50 on this relationship thing.'

...and of course, it's all love D. I just can't f*@k w/you.

TatooTuesday said...

YES!!! I love being the Devil's advocate.

My statement that Niggas are the New B*tches has nothing to do with this issue. If a dude genuinely likes a woman and pulls the cards that T suggested, then yes he is a woman in man's clothing. He might as well be a Butch in my opinion. BUT and I repeat BUT...
Often times women think that men have one type of interest. NO MA'AM. If I'm interested in hitting that and you know my guy, I'm gonna say, hey dude, see what she is on, slide her my number. I'm not trying to hold conversation go out on a million dates with you, be in public too much, NOPE. I want to get in and get out. I can make googly eyes at you all I want, it doesn't mean I'm interested in dating you. I may just want to hit, I may just want you to look pretty on my arm at an event or two.
There is nothing wrong with putting a feeler out on those. That is just playing the game. Now if I go all out and come correct, court you and then I hit and say I did all that just for the ass... Then I slide out... I'm a bastard. I'm saving you some trouble!


I know its all love, Thummy!