Thursday, February 19, 2009


I am currently on my way to my grandfather's funeral. I know that's a little jarring, I should have mentioned earlier in the week that he passed away.

Today, I would like to talk to you all about the importance of having children within wedlock and/or marrying your baby's mama or daddy and/or ONLY having sex with people that you could see as the mother or father of your child. (This could also be a PSA to strap the hell up, but take it how you want it.)

My mom didn't marry my biological father (2 points for her on that one). When you add her parents and his parents I had a normal set of grandparents (two like everyone else). THEN my mom married my first stepfather (who I call dad). This brings me up to three sets of grandparents. Then my dad died. THEN my mom married my current step-father. This brings Tea to a grand total of four sets of grandparents.

That means whereas most people only have to mourn the loss (and possible loss) of four grandparents in the course of their lifetime, I have to mourn the loss (and possible loss) of eight. It's heartbreaking (and also very hard to explain to regular people AND my HR department).

Of course, you can look at it positively and say I had the opportunity to have more people bless my life, which is true, but right now, I'm talking about mourning.

I know you're wondering, but I'm doing fine. There is a time for everything and now is the time for death and mourning. Sam Sr (grandpa), is going to meet Sam Jr. (dad) in heaven and I just pray that God never takes Sam the III (baby brother) from me. Please keep my family, especially my brothers, in your prayers.

AND back to my public service announcement: I beg of you, be responsible when it comes to picking your children's other parent (i.e. anyone you sleep with from here on out). There are so many factors to consider, but a nuclear family is healthiest for the children and will save you and them thousands of dollars in therapy (assuming you don't screw your kids up some other way, LOL!)


ThummyB said...

Girl, I was JUST thinking to myself 'HR must be giving her the side-eye when some comes in talking about my grandparent passed'.

antithesis said...

i think about stuff like this ALL THE TIME. i dont know why i do the things i do because if any of the dudes ive slept with were the fathers of my children i would kill myself. like no way!

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

My thoughts are with you and the fam. said...

Hi there,

There are many detrimental effects of fatherlessness on black women and yet we CONTINUE to act like it's no big deal to keep on having babies out of wedlock...

Jonetta Rose Barras wrote What Ever Happened To Daddy's Little Girl for a reason and we need to understand the message of her book.


Her message comes forth loudly and clearly...

We need to stop handling black children fatherlessness as a legacy. They deserve better than that.

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :-(