Friday, February 6, 2009

Dilemma

There are three trips I really want to go on this year that I'm thinking about not going on and it's tearing me apart. (A couple other trips are budgeted and planned, so not backing out of those).

I can count on one hand the trips that I really wanted to go on that I said no to. (Miami w/ thummyb and Joi in 2006 and NYC with PyT and Ash in 2008). When I tell you I was sick about missing these trips, I mean I damn near couldn't look at the facebook photos, I was SO sick. But these are trips where I either 1) couldn't afford to go or 2) could afford to go, but decided to use my money for [what seemed at the time to be] more practical, responsible things.

EVERY other trip that I really wanted to go on, I've taken. Folks know, if you plan a trip, T is riding out. Plain and simple.

But... it's 2009. My finances have never been in better shape and though I'm 90% sure I'm going to postpone my condo-buying aspirations, I REALLY wanted to Jerome Bettis tackle my credit card debt this year. How, HOW can I pay down debt swiftly when I have family and friends that I want to visit in other states, fabulous friends who invite me on fabulous trips and professional conferences that I want to attend?

HOW in the name of sweet baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling clothes can I choose between the peace of a zero balance on a credit card statement and the stories of a good trip.

Tea & Such readers have been entertained non-stop by my trip stories. My friends in real life have too... (much more detailed nonsense, of course). I just feel like right now is the time for the craziness. I'll never get my 20s back. I am young and unattached and I'm all about seizing the day because face it, life is all about the stories. The stories=priceless memories=thousands of reasons to tell my grandkids "your granny used to kick it. Do you hear me? KICK. IT."

The sad part is there is no correct answer. Neither choice will leave me completely satisfied. [Imagine that... being an adult and having to make decisions that don't leave you completely satisfied. Real life sometimes=Wackness]. If I go on the trips, when I'm alone at home re-working my budget I'm going to feel like I failed at meeting a goal (paying CC debt down VERYFAST *sounding like Kanye's interlude*). If I don't go on the trips, I'm going to be looking at the zero balances on the cards thinking that they weren't worth the good times I missed with friends and memories I could have made.

I think you all know what this means... second job, I'll be back for the summer. I'm going to attempt, yet again, to be superwoman, have my cake and eat it too. *sigh*

P.S. I love you all dearly, but I'm not really in the mood to hear your advice on what you think I should do or how your feel about decisions that I make, so I'm disabling comments. As personal as these decisions are, I just needed to get it out on paper... er um... computer screen. (Send me an e-mail if you're feeling real strong about something)

I also wanted to share in case anyone else was going through something similar. *In my best white Mike rendition... hands out... right foot stumpin'... head back... eyes closed... singing* You are not alone. LOL!