Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Club Complainers

People who complain about being at the club while at the club: Let me just say I HAIGHTCHOO!!! Go the hell home then.

Not only are you hypocritical, self-rightous, condescending and irritating, but you're also KILLING my buzz.

I like to party. It's been said and I'll continue to say it until one day I, magically, don't like to party anymore. If you have feelings about people who like to party, sit your ass at home and eat ice cream and popcorn and call up another friend who's sitting their ass at home eating pie and chicken wings and complain to them like the nag that you are.

DO NOT sit at the bar and when I come up to get a drink complaining about how you don't want to be there, but your girl dragged you out. That's interesting, I don't see any scrapes on your body? Is she your ride home? Cabs not running? CTA stopped service? Your man/dip/booski/homieloverfriend couldn't come get you?

DO NOT be in the VIP section and when I come over to pour a drink complain to me about how it's your guy's birthday, so you had to be there for him even though you hate the club. Brother... He KNOWS you KNOW it's his birthday. He'll take a greeting card/e-mail/text message/facebook status update. Hell, you could have called in the bottle service from your house. Please believe, your presence (as is this interaction we're having right now, which you initiated) is unneccesary.

DO NOT stand with the screw face on the dance floor talking about how you haven't been out in a while and wanted to see what the scene was like. News flash: It's the same old scene. Nothing's changed because you haven't been there. People are still drinking, sometimes falling over drunk, dancing, sometimes falling over drunk and canoodling, sometimes falling over drunk.

If you don't drink and don't like to see people sometime falling over drunk PLEASE I beg of you go to Dave & Buster's, 10 Pin, Chuck E. Cheese, Enchanted Castle or some other place where having fun doesn't revolve being just drunk enough or just a lil bit too drunk.

I am not sypathetic to your plight. I am not empathetic to your plight. I already made up my mind that I'm going to have a good time because 10 times out of 10, my makeup's cute, my outfit's cute, my feet hurt ('cause my shoes are cute) and I probably have some drink in me and I didn't come out of the house to complain or hear your punk ass complain.

Fun is not a feeling, it's an action that you make happen... a lot like love, but more on that in another post.

So in closing: ADULTS, man or woman up and don't do stuff you don't like to do. It's 2009, if you don't want to go to the club, bar, party or other socializing locale: DON'T GO.

Moving forward, I will call you out on your wackness if I'm trying to enjoy myself and you're killing my buzz with the anti-partying talk. And please share this note with your anti-partying talk friends... I don't want anyone to say they weren't forewarned.


WiZ said...

bunch a whiners if you ask me. they should hit the club and raise the roof for God's sake.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i trust u
i mean i dont go to clubs


PyT said...

I need people to recognize that fun is what you make. If you are a lame boring person, then that's what your experience will be. I don't go to the club for your entertainment :-/

ThummyB said...

Here is my theory on the guy who's going on and on about how he doesn't 'usually' kick it, but he's just out for his boy.

That's just a lie. Think of all of the guys you have heard say that in the past. Didn't you run into them at the club several times following that statement? Here's the thing. They think that you don't want a guy who kicks they tell you they don't kick it in the hopes that this will impress you. Unfortunately for doesn't.

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

I love, love, love this post!!! T you've done it again!! LOL!!

It's so funny, yet so true. I will remember this post the next time my friends/family "drag" me out to the club with my "screw" face saying, "I don't even like the club scene..." LOL!!!!!!!! I think next time I'll just keep my thoughts to myself or stay my butt at home!!

Luvvie (aka Queen IG) said...

Someone should make this into a "The More You Know" PSA with a Q-list celebrity delivering it (like Clifton Powell) Yuppp.

Brian and Lauren said...

LOL - Enchanted Castle!! Thanks for the info gilr. That's exactly why you don't see me out! It's ok to have fun in quiet settings. You can have lots-o-fun @ the crib w/ your hubby!!!! :)

suga said...

lmao this is hilarious.

I must admit, I'm guilty of going out 2 weeks ago to help my girl celebrate her birthday when I know I hate clubs (I do love lounges and bars though). I didnt complain, but I did sit my ass down the ENTIRE night and roll my eyes at some dude who kept poplocking and doing B2K spin moves in front of me in a sorry attempt to get me to dance with him. That will officially be the last time I step foot into a club, unless I'm on vacation some where else lol

nunezdaughter said...

"That's interesting, I don't see any scrapes on your body?"

that's when i knew this would be a great post. as if i didnt know it already.